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    I started my SCITT/PGCE 5 weeks ago and I am really not enjoying it.

    I previously worked as a LSA and loved it but I felt like I needed to do something more. I decided to do my PGCE taking the SCITT route.

    However 5 weeks in I am not sure if I have made the right choice. I love working with children but I have found my placement challenging. I will be here until the end of the course with a 4 week placement in a different school.

    I don't like the atmosphere of the school, I have tried to make conversation with the staff to try and get to know them but I get nothing back from them I am just ignored which doesn't help with my self esteem and anxiety.

    My mentor is a bit dry, at first i thought we would get on fine but as the weeks have gone on there isn't much communication. My mentor has not asked me how I am getting on whether I need any help etc. I just feel like a spare part in the room, my mentor often comes into the class I am in and will just ignore me and not even acknowledge I am there which I think is rude.

    The school is quite strict as it is a catholic school and I am not catholic. There is a lot of faith things that go on in the school which I have to take part in which is fine because its what I have to do.

    Today I had the worse day where i have stopped myself from crying infront of the class and the teacher. I don't know if I want to put myself through the stress as I am so unhappy now I can't bare to think how I will survive until June.

    I see other people who are so passionate about teaching and love the SCITT but i don't feel like that.

    I have given myself until October half term to see what I want to do, but right now I feel like quitting. I hate feeling like this
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    Oh crumbs. All I will say, is that a PGCE is probably one of the most mentally exhausting, brutal experiences you will have of your life. I too had a dry mentor and didn't get to know any of the staff. I am now an NQT and there is just that divide between staff and trainees. Suck it up. As for the Catholic thing - just go with it. I worked in a Catholic school and loved the values aspect of their community. For all the religious stuff, I just crossed my fingers behind my back and tried to ignore it.

    This term is going to be mentally challenging. You will be faced with situations you are unprepared for. I remember feeling devastated when a kid came to me in tears because he was being bullied in my class. I had sleepless nights for weeks. But you need to learn that school is school. It is a tough environment for all. But if you can get through it, life on the other side is much better. You can choose where you work and you will form those important relationships.

    My head of department has a fantastic moto and I urge you to tattoo it onto your brain. If you go through a tough experience, ask yourself - "Are they learning and did anyone die?" If the answers are yes and no, it isn't that bad.

    PS NQT year is miles easier that PGCE.
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    Just want you to know that it is completely normal to feel that way. Your PGCE is likely to be hardest year of teaching and you conscious about every little thing. I really struggled in my first year and it took till Christmas to get a grip. After Christmas is when things normally click

    As for your mentor see if there is anything you can do that she appreciates. For example whether it's displays, marking or data. Show off what you can do. Alternatively find an informal mentor who you can go to. My HOD was a real *****. She would only come and see me if something went wrong. Remember that you won't be there for long and it will get better as time goes by
 
 
 
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