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Advice on making and maintaining friends? watch

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    • Thread Starter

    I’ll try to be as succinct as possible. I’ve always had real difficulty making and maintaining friends (I have autism so my social skills aren’t the best).

    I’m currently on a gap year having finished my A levels this summer and I’m currently working so my social life is continuing to stagnate. But I definitely have my heart set on going to uni next year since this hopefully may (or sadly may not) change my fortunes?

    Now because I’ve always found it hard interacting with people in the real world I excessively use social media as a medium to make real life friends. For example, I would send snapchats out to all of my contacts (inc. people I know and added and random people I don’t know and added) and ask if anyone would like to do something like go for a drink (I like drinking btw, helps me socialise).

    A couple of times it was a success and I have met up with people as a consequence. The first time I was successful the people I met said directly they wanted to be my friend, so I then followed up and messaged if we could do something again and they said they couldn’t. I’m very self conscious and I personally interpreted that as they didn’t want to meet me again because they didn’t like me.

    I was then successful with another group of people on another occasion, again they said they’d like to be my friend and they’d do something again, but they never got back to me and I feel too scared and embarrassed to message people individually from now on to do something because any negative response massively wrecks my confidence and gets me feeling extremely low and isolated. I feel that not receiving a message from people implies they don’t want me in their lives.

    So all in all I’m a very lonely person. On many occasions I’ve just gone to pubs all on my own to get drunk till the point where I feel comfortable enough to talk to random strangers.

    I’m just wondering if any of you could offer me any advice for making/maintaining friendships other than campaigning and promoting myself on social media in order to get an unlikely response/invite from people? And even times it is successful it’s only a one off result. Many thanks for your help
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    Sports clubs? (Even running, cycling etc.)
    I've heard that more social people tend to be more physically fit
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