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Money. ADVICE ASAP PLEASE❤️ Watch

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    Isit normal that my boyfriend is so dependent on me he always comes to me when he needs things and can't get it himself? Perhaps it is normal however I'm just not that type of person to go to him or anyone. People are different. I'm getting Abit of putted by it my friends said he's only dependent because you have done so much for him.

    Can I get people's opinion on this ?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Isit normal that my boyfriend is so dependent on me he always comes to me when he needs things and can't get it himself? Perhaps it is normal however I'm just not that type of person to go to him or anyone. People are different. I'm getting Abit of putted by it my friends said he's only dependent because you have done so much for him.

    Can I get people's opinion on this ?
    Not enough description, but the questions I would be thinking are:

    How dependent? how much?
    What do I feel about it?
    Is there a reason he cant get anything himself?
    is he just using you for money?
    Is he making an effort to sort himself out?
    Do you get anything from the relationship i.e how does he support you?

    And things being equal then it sounds unbalanced and you could be being used, but youd need to know about the full facts as they could throw a different light on it.

    If its only one way, then you should question why you are in the relationship and whether he is just using you. Maybe he stays because you make things comfy for him? What would he do if you stopped buying things?
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Not enough description, but the questions I would be thinking are:

    How dependent? how much?
    What do I feel about it?
    Is there a reason he cant get anything himself?
    is he just using you for money?
    Is he making an effort to sort himself out?
    Do you get anything from the relationship i.e how does he support you?

    And things being equal then it sounds unbalanced and you could be being used, but youd need to know about the full facts as they could throw a different light on it.

    If its only one way, then you should question why you are in the relationship and whether he is just using you. Maybe he stays because you make things comfy for him? What would he do if you stopped buying things?
    He went through a rough patch in which I helped him out paid his fines ect .... I don't think he's using me for money I think it's his character he does that's with everyone I just don't think it is my character. He hasn't lately asked me which is good
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He went through a rough patch in which I helped him out paid his fines ect .... I don't think he's using me for money I think it's his character he does that's with everyone I just don't think it is my character. He hasn't lately asked me which is good
    Not enough info about your relationship to say.

    If you are unhappy or want him to be less reliant then either stop helping him out or talk to him so he can change his pattern of behaviour.
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    Any relationship is about sharing, but doesn't mean paying for him all the time and vis versa. If he always expects you to pay for things, then yes he could be using you for your money.

    If he will pay his way or pay for you on occasion then that is quiet normal.

    Trying going Dutch (each pays for their own stuff) for a bit and see how it goes. If he goes into a mega strop and expects you to pay then his after your money. If not, then it could be ok.

    You shouldn't be paying his fines, but yes for your turn dates nights/presents, but nothing to do with anything else. He needs to understand his an independent person and thus pays for his stuff that is outside the relationship.

    You need to set boundaries of what the relationship is, and what you agree to pay or not pay. For me as an adult I wouldn't expect my partner to pay any of my bills (unless they were living with me then pay their share), and fines etc. But pay towards dates, petrol money (only for the date night), food, drinks, presents to buy for birthdays, Christmas etc.

    Remember you are an independent person in a relationship with another independent person, You don't have to live in each others pockets literally, and neither side should be paying for everything within the relationship. Some guys may want to be chivalrous and pay for everything, which is the old fashioned way, I personally would still give them money towards their cost if need be.

    Think about what is included in the relationship and go from there.
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    How do you define 'rough patch'?

    Also, just say no to him when he asks and see what type of reaction you get, if he throws his toys out the pram and says you don't love him etc then he really is only with you for your money and those types of relationships are not healthy.

    But to answer your initial question, no it isn't normal.
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    Relationships are about sharing, be single if you dont like it
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    A scrub is a boy that cant get no love from me...

    Seriously though why would you go out with a broke boy anyway lool
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    (Original post by freedom)
    Relationships are about sharing, be single if you dont like it
    So I should share my money ?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I should share my money ?
    no keep your money, let him spend his money until he is broke. Divorce him (get him to pay for this too)
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    (Original post by freedom)
    no keep your money, let him spend his money until he is broke. Divorce him (get him to pay for this too)
    lol sorry
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