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    Bit of a complicated situation we are in. My sister doesn't work, hasn't found a job in years and doesn't contribute to living much whatsoever. My brother works and he gives alot of money to our parents (£500+ a month). I also work and give them around (£150+ a month). My other brother also gives them quite alot of money.

    They waste it on things they don't need like clothes and what not. Parents have alot of debt (£10000 at least on credit cards). We have offered to wipe out their credit cards and help them pay off their debt. They refuse that offer and ask us for £1000 a month but they wont tell us what they will use it for. They constantly ask us for money as if they think we are made of money.

    We are already thinking of moving out (me and my 2 brothers) and we estimate living costs to be about £700 split between the 3 of us.

    What would you do? Move out and live sensibly or keep giving money to parents who waste it unnecessarily and never know when to stop asking for more.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Bit of a complicated situation we are in. My sister doesn't work, hasn't found a job in years and doesn't contribute to living much whatsoever. My brother works and he gives alot of money to our parents (£500+ a month). I also work and give them around (£150+ a month). My other brother also gives them quite alot of money.

    They waste it on things they don't need like clothes and what not. Parents have alot of debt (£10000 at least on credit cards). We have offered to wipe out their credit cards and help them pay off their debt. They refuse that offer and ask us for £1000 a month but they wont tell us what they will use it for. They constantly ask us for money as if they think we are made of money.

    We are already thinking of moving out (me and my 2 brothers) and we estimate living costs to be about £700 split between the 3 of us.

    What would you do? Move out and live sensibly or keep giving money to parents who waste it unnecessarily and never know when to stop asking for more.
    Your parents got themselves into this mess, it's not your responsibility to help them out. I'd say get out while you still can, try and keep a good relationship with your siblings but I don't think there's much hope for maintaining one with your parents. C'est la vie I guess.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Bit of a complicated situation we are in. My sister doesn't work, hasn't found a job in years and doesn't contribute to living much whatsoever. My brother works and he gives alot of money to our parents (£500+ a month). I also work and give them around (£150+ a month). My other brother also gives them quite alot of money.

    They waste it on things they don't need like clothes and what not. Parents have alot of debt (£10000 at least on credit cards). We have offered to wipe out their credit cards and help them pay off their debt. They refuse that offer and ask us for £1000 a month but they wont tell us what they will use it for. They constantly ask us for money as if they think we are made of money.

    We are already thinking of moving out (me and my 2 brothers) and we estimate living costs to be about £700 split between the 3 of us.

    What would you do? Move out and live sensibly or keep giving money to parents who waste it unnecessarily and never know when to stop asking for more.
    If you can comfortably move out, then you should do it. Your parents are in debt because they're obviously **** with money and it's not fair for your money to go down the drain. I would move out with your siblings if they're up for it. Maybe offer your sister to move in if she gets a job.
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    It’s difficult to judge without knowing your parents actual circumstances
    I do believe that if you live at home and work you should contribute to the household finances.
    I take a nominal amount in principle from my sons and it is none of their business how it is spent
    I think £1000 is a lot. It depends what the total cost of housing, bills and food is though but if that’s split three ways then it £333 each or 80 odd a week which isn’t that much
    700 for three of you doesn’t sound enough. Have you included rent, utilities, line rental, broadband, council tax, insurances, furnishing costs and food? Along with other things I’ve forgotten?
    It’s up to you to decide. You’re adults after all
    Ultimately you have to decide what’s best
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    Honestly I'd move out at that point.

    No, you don't as get a say really in how they spend money you give them. However you do 100% have the right to move out and stop giving them money if you believe they are being irresponsible with the money you do give them. And honestly if they are ignoring debt and buying crap then they are without a doubt being irresponsible. Their mess, not yours.

    Not to mention it seems it'll be cheaper for you 3 to move out than to stay with your parents, seems like a no brainer to me.
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    Honestly you should leave. You're only enabling their spending behaviour to keep giving them so much money. I do think kids should contribute to the household and you don't have a right to say how the money is spent BUT the amount you guys are paying out is really excessive and it's not fair for your parents to expect you to fund their lifestyle to that extent. If you're going to save money between you by living together elsewhere then you may as well do it and perhaps it will be a wake up call for your parents. Also do not wipe out their debts unless you see some genuine evidence that their spending habits have changed or it will just be money down the drain.

    I do think 700 a month is not very realistic for a 3 bedroom place including all bills and also taking into account the up front costs of deposit and furniture but I think you'll still spend less money than you currently do.
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    Honestly you should leave. You're only enabling their spending behaviour to keep giving them so much money. I do think kids should contribute to the household and you don't have a right to say how the money is spent BUT the amount you guys are paying out is really excessive and it's not fair for your parents to expect you to fund their lifestyle to that extent. If you're going to save money between you by living together elsewhere then you may as well do it and perhaps it will be a wake up call for your parents. Also do not wipe out their debts unless you see some genuine evidence that their spending habits have changed or it will just be money down the drain.

    I do think 700 a month is not very realistic for a 3 bedroom place including all bills and also taking into account the up front costs of deposit and furniture but I think you'll still spend less money than you currently do.
    Think it depends on area really, there's loads of 3 bed places where I live going for between 500-600 a month. But if OP lives in a more expensive area then yeah, they need to be more realistic.

    You're right about deposit (and fees) and furniture though. Especially if they have to get white goods as well. It can get very pricey.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Think it depends on area really, there's loads of 3 bed places where I live going for between 500-600 a month. But if OP lives in a more expensive area then yeah, they need to be more realistic.

    You're right about deposit (and fees) and furniture though. Especially if they have to get white goods as well. It can get very pricey.
    certainly the rent could be less but they're looking at 80 or so a month for council tax, 20 for internet, 20 for TV license, plus another chunk for bills (think I was paying around 100 a month in bills when I was in a 3 bed house) - I guess 700 is doable if they find somewhere cheap but I'd guess for 3 proper sized rooms in most areas it's a little more
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    certainly the rent could be less but they're looking at 80 or so a month for council tax, 20 for internet, 20 for TV license, plus another chunk for bills (think I was paying around 100 a month in bills when I was in a 3 bed house) - I guess 700 is doable if they find somewhere cheap but I'd guess for 3 proper sized rooms in most areas it's a little more
    Fair point, definitely though with one of his brothers already paying £500 to their parents, between them it'll work out cheaper anyway.
 
 
 
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