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To be annoyed at my housemate's boyfriend's moving in? Watch

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    Okay so I have been living in my student house for about two weeks now and one of my housemates boyfriend has moved in. At first he informed he would be staying over for a week but it's been about just over two weeks since he has been here and it doesn't look like he would be moving out soon. He told me he would be staying here for a week due to the fact that he needs to find a house however I have no idea why it would still take him this long to this day.

    My other house mate informed me not too long ago that she would be bringing her boyfriend from abroad and he will be living with us. She did mention he will split the bills but this is not what I asked for. I asked to share a house with 3 other girls not 3 girls and 2 guys and now the whole thing is annoying me and I have to pretend I am okay with it to avoid any arguments. More people just means less time and more time consuming and I don't want to share with 2 more guys. 3 girls is what I wanted. I just find it plain awkward and my housemate just only pretty much hangs out with her boyfriend in the house like it's difficult for me to build a connection with her.

    I am quite annoyed about this and I want to think whether or not I am exaggerating this whole situation. Do you think it's fair for my house mates to do this?
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    Personally, I think you're exaggerating to be honest.

    Please explain how him being there (with his GF) is affecting your accommodation arrangements/experience in a negative way.
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    (Original post by King Leonidas)
    Personally, I think you're exaggerating to be honest.

    Please explain how him being there (with his GF) is affecting your accommodation arrangements/experience in a negative way.
    More time and space taking up. He is LIVING with us not staying with a few nights. I asked to share with 3 girls not 3 girls and 2 guys?
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    More time and space taking up. He is LIVING with us not staying with a few nights. I asked to share with 3 girls not 3 girls and 2 guys?
    How much time and space can one truly take, come on!

    I understand if he's using all the cutlery, eating all the food etc, but as you've already mentioned, he's willing to pay his way. Sometimes you have to adapt, not throw toys out of your pram. Give it time and see how the arrangement unfolds, like you said, it has only been two weeks.
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    (Original post by King Leonidas)
    How much time and space can one truly take, come on!

    I understand if he's using all the cutlery, eating all the food etc, but as you've already mentioned, he's willing to pay his way. Sometimes you have to adapt, not throw toys out of your pram. Give it time and see how the arrangement unfolds, like you said, it has only been two weeks.
    No, that housemate's boyfriend is not willing to pay. Plus it's against the contract for strangers to live in a house anyway. Plus yes more space taking showers , washing us rack being used more etc.. My other housemate wants to invite her boyfriend in too -_-. I just find this inconsiderate.
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    No, that housemate's boyfriend is not willing to pay. Plus it's against the contract for strangers to live in a house anyway. Plus yes more space taking showers , washing us rack being used more etc.. My other housemate wants to invite her boyfriend in too -_-. I just find this inconsiderate.
    (Original post by loveleest)
    She did mention he will split the bills but this is not what I asked for.
    You said he'd split the bills...

    Honestly, if it bothers you that much then just transfer to another accommodation. If you kick up a fuss and start bringing pedantic issues about contracts and strangers into the mix, then it's likely you'll rub your housemates up the wrong way and make it awkward.
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    if the bf's pay for bills to then what's the fuss about , 99% of the time they're gonna be with their gf's
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    (Original post by King Leonidas)
    You said he'd split the bills...

    Honestly, if it bothers you that much then just transfer to another accommodation. If you kick up a fuss and start bringing pedantic issues about contracts and strangers into the mix, then it's likely you'll rub your housemates up the wrong way and make it awkward.
    1) My current housemate's boyfriend that is here right now is not paying.
    2) My other housemate's boyfriend wants to move in this month but is not here yet, said he will pay for bills
    3) I would move out but I can't.
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    I say wait and see if the guys start doing any monkey business like sexual stuff or nasty unsanitary stuff or thieving

    But on the "plus" side at least it'll be like living in the Big Brother house! 😃 lol
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    1) My current housemate's boyfriend that is here right now is not paying.
    2) My other housemate's boyfriend wants to move in this month but is not here yet, said he will pay for bills
    3) I would move out but I can't.
    Getting sympathy off cranks on TSR isn't going to happen. Just ignore them.
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    1) My current housemate's boyfriend that is here right now is not paying.
    2) My other housemate's boyfriend wants to move in this month but is not here yet, said he will pay for bills
    3) I would move out but I can't.
    So just bring up the costs issue with the housemate's boyfriend who is staying at the moment, do it subtly in a few weeks and it'll give her something to think about.

    Simple
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    (Original post by Notorious_B.I.G.)
    Getting sympathy off cranks on TSR isn't going to happen. Just ignore them.
    true lool
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    (Original post by Ray_Shadows)
    if the bf's pay for bills to then what's the fuss about , 99% of the time they're gonna be with their gf's
    But he doesn't. I can't believe some of you don't get it. I signed the contract to live with 3 girls not 3 girls and 2 guys or couples?
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    I agree with you. It’s not fair. If 5 live in the house, it’s a five way split. Simple.
    If you signed a contract for 3 and no one else is allowed then you run the risk of trouble with the landlord
    Try explaining how you feel to your housemates. In a letter if you feel more comfortable with that. But you do run the risk of alienating yourself.
    If it’s possible, tell them that you would like to move out. If you can find alternative accommodation that is!!
    If they want to continue as they are then you could send an anonymous note to the landlord saying you suspect the house is over occupied but you risk being evicted.
    If the landlord only has a licence for three tenants then he could be in trouble too
    Why don’t you have a chat in confidence with student support and see what they suggest
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    I disagree with the people that say you should just suck it up, I don't think it's fair for them to move in, stay over for a few nights yeah but not move in
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    Any chance that this was planned from the start. I'd be pretty pi**ed off if it was. Space for 4 people suddenly being taken up by 6 and you are possibly in breach of your contract.

    If I were you I would speak to the other girl who doesn't have a BF there. Does she feel the same as you? If so come up with a plan to get shot of them. If you have individual contracts maybe you can get them kicked out by speaking to the landlord.
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    But he doesn't. I can't believe some of you don't get it. I signed the contract to live with 3 girls not 3 girls and 2 guys or couples?
    alright well if they don't pay the bills , you need to discuss it with your housemates , preferably where the bf 's can't intervene . Maybe put a compromise in your household flat where the deal is " the Bf's can stay , but they get last priority of everything e.g kitchen use , bathroom use and they have to spilt the bill with their gf's if they're staying " or something like that
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    (Original post by Sammylou40)
    I agree with you. It’s not fair. If 5 live in the house, it’s a five way split. Simple.
    If you signed a contract for 3 and no one else is allowed then you run the risk of trouble with the landlord
    Try explaining how you feel to your housemates. In a letter if you feel more comfortable with that. But you do run the risk of alienating yourself.
    If it’s possible, tell them that you would like to move out. If you can find alternative accommodation that is!!
    If they want to continue as they are then you could send an anonymous note to the landlord saying you suspect the house is over occupied but you risk being evicted.
    If the landlord only has a licence for three tenants then he could be in trouble too
    Why don’t you have a chat in confidence with student support and see what they suggest
    Thank you for understanding me.
    That is how I felt. I signed for 3 girls that is it. My housemate has told me to "keep it as a secret" but I am not happy with it. I have no idea how to say it. Isn't it not too late to move out as I have signed a contract and paid a deposit? I would love to move though
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    Bills and rent aside, I would be very annoyed to have to share with double the amount of people than was stated. You're signing up for the house to live in particular way. It's often awkward being around couples, and takes away from the social aspects around living with two girl friends. People doing couply stuff in the shared spaces is pretty disconcerting in what should be your relaxation space. There's also a sense of being the "odd one out" living with two couples.

    Then there's the logistical problems of occupied bathrooms, kitchen in use, increased bills, food going missing from fridge, extra mess etc.


    (Original post by loveleest)
    But he doesn't. I can't believe some of you don't get it. I signed the contract to live with 3 girls not 3 girls and 2 guys or couples?
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    Thank you for understanding me.
    That is how I felt. I signed for 3 girls that is it. My housemate has told me to "keep it as a secret" but I am not happy with it. I have no idea how to say it. Isn't it not too late to move out as I have signed a contract and paid a deposit? I would love to move though
    Get some advice from the CAB - the terms of the agreement are being broken and probably the fire regs.
 
 
 
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