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Boyfriend kissed 2 girls while drunk on 2 different nights; told me months after Watch

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    My boyfriend of 1,5 yrs confessed to me a few days ago that he had kissed two girls while drunk, on 2 different nights. The first one happened 6 months ago and the other one 4 months ago.

    He did not try to justify his actions, but him under the influence obviously got him to fall for temptations. In general he told me that in those moments, the validation/attention he got from the girls felt good; I knew he has been in a bad place for a while from uni problems. The 2nd girl was very flirtatious knowing he had a girlfriend. My boyfriend left to his room for a bit to try and stop anything from going further, but the girl and his housemates was in the living room so when he came back, things escalated into a kiss/make out. He told me he has no recollection of who initiated the kiss. Since confessing he has showed sincere remorse and I know how hard it must be to tell me knowing he had a happy relationship he did not want to end and how much I am against cheating (deal-breaker for me!!!).

    After he told me he already expected me to dump him, especially because he hid it for a long time. However when he told me I had 0 emotions and just immediately sort of let it go. It's been 4 days and I have realized the dephts of my angst and resentment for him. I have expressed it to him as well and we talked. He said he is willing to give my space to recover, make it up to me and take the necessary steps to regain my trust (drinking limits, etc., will talk about it tomorrow). Honestly I just want to get past it asap and feel the same way I did before. I have had the happiest 1,5 year of my life with him and he feels the same. I don't think I want to throw away what we have because of the incidents. He has taught me so much before by just being himself (not by making mistakes) and I him.

    Note that for the past month we have been long distance.

    The thing is I am very torn between giving him another chance (that he says he does not deserve but will work to deserve) or to dump him and move on.. Pls be empathetic and just don't judge me for forgiving him Thanks in advance!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend of 1,5 yrs confessed to me a few days ago that he had kissed two girls while drunk, on 2 different nights. The first one happened 6 months ago and the other one 4 months ago.

    He did not try to justify his actions, but him under the influence obviously got him to fall for temptations. In general he told me that in those moments, the validation/attention he got from the girls felt good; I knew he has been in a bad place for a while from uni problems. The 2nd girl was very flirtatious knowing he had a girlfriend. My boyfriend left to his room for a bit to try and stop anything from going further, but the girl and his housemates was in the living room so when he came back, things escalated into a kiss/make out. He told me he has no recollection of who initiated the kiss. Since confessing he has showed sincere remorse and I know how hard it must be to tell me knowing he had a happy relationship he did not want to end and how much I am against cheating (deal-breaker for me!!!).

    After he told me he already expected me to dump him, especially because he hid it for a long time. However when he told me I had 0 emotions and just immediately sort of let it go. It's been 4 days and I have realized the dephts of my angst and resentment for him. I have expressed it to him as well and we talked. He said he is willing to give my space to recover, make it up to me and take the necessary steps to regain my trust (drinking limits, etc., will talk about it tomorrow). Honestly I just want to get past it asap and feel the same way I did before. I have had the happiest 1,5 year of my life with him and he feels the same. I don't think I want to throw away what we have because of the incidents. He has taught me so much before by just being himself (not by making mistakes) and I him.

    Note that for the past month we have been long distance.

    The thing is I am very torn between giving him another chance (that he says he does not deserve but will work to deserve) or to dump him and move on.. Pls be empathetic and just don't judge me for forgiving him Thanks in advance!
    It's not that it happened once, it's happened twice so I think it's not something you can realistically move on from.
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    Good on him
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    So he cheated on you twice and tried to blame it on being drunk? From bad to worse.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend of 1,5 yrs confessed to me a few days ago that he had kissed two girls while drunk, on 2 different nights. The first one happened 6 months ago and the other one 4 months ago.

    He did not try to justify his actions, but him under the influence obviously got him to fall for temptations. In general he told me that in those moments, the validation/attention he got from the girls felt good; I knew he has been in a bad place for a while from uni problems. The 2nd girl was very flirtatious knowing he had a girlfriend. My boyfriend left to his room for a bit to try and stop anything from going further, but the girl and his housemates was in the living room so when he came back, things escalated into a kiss/make out. He told me he has no recollection of who initiated the kiss. Since confessing he has showed sincere remorse and I know how hard it must be to tell me knowing he had a happy relationship he did not want to end and how much I am against cheating (deal-breaker for me!!!).

    After he told me he already expected me to dump him, especially because he hid it for a long time. However when he told me I had 0 emotions and just immediately sort of let it go. It's been 4 days and I have realized the dephts of my angst and resentment for him. I have expressed it to him as well and we talked. He said he is willing to give my space to recover, make it up to me and take the necessary steps to regain my trust (drinking limits, etc., will talk about it tomorrow). Honestly I just want to get past it asap and feel the same way I did before. I have had the happiest 1,5 year of my life with him and he feels the same. I don't think I want to throw away what we have because of the incidents. He has taught me so much before by just being himself (not by making mistakes) and I him.

    Note that for the past month we have been long distance.

    The thing is I am very torn between giving him another chance (that he says he does not deserve but will work to deserve) or to dump him and move on.. Pls be empathetic and just don't judge me for forgiving him Thanks in advance!
    Stop crying over absolutely nothing whatsoever, and stop wasting time. You will die in less than 100 years. Do you want to waste your time succumbing to your primitive biological urges, and just spend your days pushing around a pram and going into shops like Top shop and primark?
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    (Original post by Masstech)
    Good on him
    wouldn't say that if your girl did the same thing
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    (Original post by HenryHaite)
    Stop crying over absolutely nothing whatsoever, and stop wasting time. You will die in less than 100 years. Do you want to waste your time succumbing to your primitive biological urges, and just spend your days pushing around a pram and going into shops like Top shop and primark?
    😂 what...
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    I would've told him to fall off a cliff like:


    https://media.giphy.com/media/zFNrtnsHciru/giphy.gif
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    Jeez that's a bit extreme
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    Personally I wouldn't forgive him. He did it twice so that says he didn't learn from his mistake. You can't have a healthy relationship if he's banned from doing certain things for fear he'll cheat (i.e. drinking, clubbing) - long term it won't work. And you obviously can't trust him to drink.
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    If it was just a kiss I would probably give it another chance as I know a lot of people who, after drinking excessively, start hugging & kissing every other person they see regardless of whether or not they're in a relationship.
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    **** him off girl, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone deffo his bestmate
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    Alright, James here. I can imagine if it were to happen to most people they would be pissed. Or probably just incredibly hurt. I think a good mindset to have at such a young age is to realise that you don't own the other person. They, in reality, are free to go as they please. All you can really do is enjoy the time you do spend with them. If you don't think that time is worth it, let it go.

    I recorded this video after my gf and I nearly broke up.

    https://youtu.be/B1VCduuk3aQ
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    I hope she broke up with you after you made that video, Jesus wept.
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    The fact he felt compelled by his conscience to tell you and is full of genuine remorse, indicates he is a better person than others, men and women alike, who keep such things secret. Decision's yours whether you throw the dice again.
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    hes gonna do it again and again and again. Cut it off NOW
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    What an absolute player.
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    lol the lies always come out 6 months later when they feel you won't dump them lmao
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    This is why polls/topics on the site asking "would you forgive a cheating partner?" should never be taken seriously.

    like 95% of people say no ...but as we are clearly seeing right now, when it comes to crunch time ..and it actually happens to you, a noticeable amount of people who say they wouldn't stand for it do end up changing their minds..
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    Why did it took so long for him to tell you?
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