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Boyfriend kissed 2 girls while drunk on 2 different nights; told me months after Watch

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    I do not think I have enough tolerance to forgive my partner when he did it. Why I say it? When he did that, more or less, he had feelings for that girls. More serious is the possibility that he is looking for new sensations and I am no longer his only one. It is just my opinion. You can consider his chance in order to decide your relationship continue or not. Wish you are happy.
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    (Original post by pandoma)
    Why did it took so long for him to tell you?
    SO agree, he should definitely get tickled, 5 minutes for every day he didn't tell you about it!!!
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    For me it would be more about trust. Do you trust him to not to do it again if he gets drunk? Do you trust that if it happened again he'd tell you straight away? It shouldn't happen again anyway? I mean once he has cheated or kissed someone and you forgive him what's to stop him from doin it again? If he loved you a lot he wouldn't have kept it from you for that long and it makes me wonder if there is anything else? Anyway only you can know what you want to do. These are jus some questions if you honestly can trust him and know this won't be an issue again then maybe give things another go or else walk away before things get worse in the future.
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    The fact that it was two SEPARATE nights would kill it for me tbh. And they're two whole months apart. To me that would show that he did not have enough remorse or care enough after the first time to not do it again. The under the influence stuff is just a excuse. He's to blame, not the flirtatious 2nd girl as he's the one in your relationship. I would probably have trust issues after so end it.
    But you know whether it's worth fighting first. Idk him personally but once a cheat always a cheat.

    Good Luck.
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    well if he didn't care he wouldn't tell you
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    Dump him.

    1) He did it
    2) He did it twice
    3) It took him 6 months to tell you

    You deserve better. Which isn't it say it won't hurt but you just need to do it and start the healing process, no boy (or girl for that matter) is worth the work that will be required on your part to fix a relationship that he has damaged with his actions.
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    (Original post by eden3)
    well if he didn't care he wouldn't tell you
    People often confess due to guilt - everything to do with making themselves feel better and nothing to do with the other person.

    In your situation, I would suspect that he has kissed (or down more) with more than two and that he'll probably do it again. Long distance relationships rarely work, especially at your age. Dump.
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    (Original post by Emmaudofia14)
    Honestly, If he's cheated on you T W I C E and then waited 6 months to tell you, I don't think you should be wasting time with somebody like that. Of course it's hard to confess the bad things we've all done, but to wait half a year to tell the person you love that you cheated isn't acceptable. However, I would focus on the long term effects and your own well being rather than him. It's not a healthy relationship if he's restricted from hanging around with his mates in parties. Restricting him from drinking, and you know that you'll never be at peace whenever he justifies himself against going out with his mates. So I think you should forgive him, but leave him. He's not worth it, as alcohol shouldn't even be used as such defence for cheating. ~ Emma

    I hate the way people use alcohol as an excuse. He was lonely/horny; alcohol just gave him the courage to do what he wanted to do.
    • #5
    #5

    Girls kiss other girls all the time when drunk. Why is it different when he kisses the whilst drunk?
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    at the end of the day you don’t kiss someone if you’re in a happy relationship. idk why everyone uses drunk as an excuse, but even when I’m black out drunk I still have the same morals as I do when I’m sober and would never cheat so he clearly isn’t completely focused on you if he gets ‘distracted’ by other girls
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    Dump him. He is an entitled narcissist idiot who views women as trophies and objects and this is why he gets validation by how many women he is ''getting''.
    A decent guy will never view women that way and he will be able to devote himself to a partner.
    I've been in a relationship for 4 years and my partner would never do that, and even less, he would never try to seek validation by kissing women. It's your choice to do whatever you want but don't expect this guy to truly love you or respect you ever. You deserve better. Unlike what Hollywood teaches women, bad guys are not bad because ''they haven't found the right woman''.
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    You ain't a prick burn his bridge men are trash
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    (Original post by Amina190)
    Do you trust that if it happened again he'd tell you straight away? .
    - dude, about 65% of men would never have told her at all. He is better than that 65% as he has a conscience. Shouldn't have done it, mind you. It works both genders : a lot of girls kiss other boys than the one they are dating, a long term g/f of mine did that twice and I only found out from others present at each of the two parties, both of whom took ages to tell me as thought it would upset me. I didn't make too much of it, gentle challenge and she lied and said she hadn't, quick decision = no dump. 2 months later she dumped me out of an 18 month relationship, but not for either of the blokes she'd had a crafty snog with. Most people conceal and lie about these things, I fear. If married, even a quick "snog" would be a far worse and more serious thing to do.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    - dude, about 65% of men would never have told her at all. He is better than that 65% as he has a conscience. Shouldn't have done it, mind you. It works both genders : a lot of girls kiss other boys than the one they are dating, a long term g/f of mine did that twice and I only found out from others present at each of the two parties, both of whom took ages to tell me as thought it would upset me. I didn't make too much of it, gentle challenge and she lied and said she hadn't, quick decision = no dump. 2 months later she dumped me out of an 18 month relationship, but not for either of the blokes she'd had a crafty snog with. Most people conceal and lie about these things, I fear. If married, even a quick "snog" would be a far worse and more serious thing to do.
    Loooool I wonder why you decided to reply to me ANONYMOUSLY when other people have commented far harsh answers. Anyway I stick by what I said... if you don't agree, tough your problem not mine. Also, sorry to hear bout your gf but tbh some guys jus let girls treat them like **** and then complain when they get cheated on or dumped. Maybe if you dumped her when you first found out instead you wouldn't have been the one dumped later on for whatever reason. Btw where did you get the 65% figure from?? If that many cheat then am not surprised people have trust issues or what not. A conscious 6 months later for me doesn't mean anything cuz how could he have spent 6 months acting like nothing had happened?? Yeah it does work both genders but also depends on who your dating... if you know he/she has cheated or had a history then why would you think you can change the person and it won't happen to you or again and then when it does, be all upset. You knew what the person was like...
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    (Original post by Carol R. Lawson)
    SO agree, he should definitely get tickled, 5 minutes for every day he didn't tell you about it!!!
    lol how did you get pink text?


    (Original post by mjustliving)
    You ain't a prick burn his bridge men are trash
    Men are trash
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    (Original post by ChickenMadness)

    Men are trash
    Come on bro you already know how it goes
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    (Original post by mjustliving)
    Come on bro you already know how it goes
    lol nah is that a song?
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    He was drunk, I don't think its a big deal.

    Dunno why he told you after six months though, he's definitely in the clear by then, you'd never have found out.
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    It happened four months ago and he only tells you now :/ however he did tell you... do you think you will be able to trust him again?
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    It really depends on whether you feel that you can move past it and forgive him. If you think you will always feel a sense of anger or lack of trust towards him, you should end it now, but if you can honestly move past it then I would suggest giving him another chance. It sounds like you were very happy together and that he really regrets it. It's good that he was honest with you, especially if he thought you wouldn't forgive him for it. Ultimately it's up to you and whether you can forgive him.
 
 
 
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