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he asked me to pay. what should i do? second date? Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    you should forget him because he isn't a gentlemen at all , i mean it's maybe your first date with him he isn't your boyfriend that you can pay for him sooo forget him
    Gentlemen don't exist anymore stop forcing your sexist outdated notions on our gender
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    (Original post by ParadiseFound)
    You realise all that really means is that the man dating you was so restricted by his inflated sense of self and rigid masculinity that he would feel insecure if you paid your way ? It's not flattering it's just a reflection on him and his insecurities.

    Maybe you want that kind of man who feels like the only way he can win your affection is by lavishing you with gifts or you want a wetwipe who lets you walk all over him, neither are the type of guy who make good long term partners.

    In the grand scheme of things, not paying for your dates good on the first date is really really minimal and if you make decisions made on that of all things you're an imbecile.
    ...I'm glad you got it off your chest. Now clearly I didn't feel flattered because I'm not with them... My later post on this page doesn't even begin to describe how unflattered and unimpressed I was... You don't know me so don't call me an imbecile.
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    (Original post by Twinpeaks)
    How many fedoras do you own?
    :teehee:
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    (Original post by ParadiseFound)
    To the women on here who are confused why he didn't pay the whole bill, you do realise it's 2017 right ?

    Long gone are the days when men would do anything to impress a woman and rightly so, for why should a man have to leap through hoops to win over a woman as if she's some sort of prize. Isn't that objectification ? You do realise having a vagina doesn't make you that special ? Men can get literally get casual sex delivered to their front door now so if you expect a man to wine and dine you, maybe it's time to think about what you're offering in return

    I don't think it's THAT ridiculous to expect your date to turn up with enough to pay her own bill and there are much more criteria she should be worrying about

    What do you think "my treat" means?
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    (Original post by Twinpeaks)
    What do you think "my treat" means?
    I see what you're getting at but do you think if a woman asked a man on a date as a treat he wouldn't bring enough to pay for himself and probably offer to pay the whole thing too. Why is that ? Why do we have one set of rules for women and one for men ? And why would she spend so much if it was beyond her means let alone his, if someone offered to pay for my food I'd.choose the cheapest thing on the menu
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    (Original post by ParadiseFound)
    I see what you're getting at but do you think if a woman asked a man on a date as a treat he wouldn't bring enough to pay for himself and probably offer to pay the whole thing too. Why is that ? Why do we have one set of rules for women and one for men ? And why would she spend so much if it was beyond her means let alone his, if someone offered to pay for my food I'd.choose the cheapest thing on the menu
    Because of petty, old fashioned ideals?
    Because he kept encouraging her to buy the most expensive items on the menu? If you're going to be the meek sap who still only buys the cheapest item on the menu despite being encouraged to do the opposite, then that's your choice, but you can't expect others to be the same.


    Common sense. And btw thanks for the insight, up until now I had this strong sense of entitlement because I have a vagina, but your insight just shifted my worldview entirely.
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    :laugh::laugh::laugh:
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    Ask profesh to hack into his account to get you your money back!

    (Original post by Profesh)
    xxx
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Because he kept hinting. He was saying things like 'let me treat you' and 'my treat' and 'let me take you out'. I was fully prepared to pay and I always offer but the way he was acting was just odd to me.
    His actions or inferences were merely an invitation to 'treat' in many more ways than one
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    (Original post by ParadiseFound)
    To the women on here who are confused why he didn't pay the whole bill, you do realise it's 2017 right ?
    You do realise what 'my treat' means right? if not, I suggest you look it up

    (Original post by ParadiseFound)
    Long gone are the days when men would do anything to impress a woman
    whats the weather like on that little planet of yours. long gone, really? is that why the world of sugardaddies is more popular than ever? not to mention men STILL paying for first dates. just cos you're stingy, does not mean the rest of the world is. and that is probably why you are still single


    (Original post by ParadiseFound)
    and rightly so, for why should a man have to leap through hoops to win over a woman as if she's some sort of prize.
    because women choose, men chase. like i said when you actually become old enough to start dating you will learn this.

    (Original post by ParadiseFound)
    You do realise having a vagina doesn't make you that special ?
    so why do men treat us as if we are then? we don't ask you to practically bend over backwards trying to impress us, guys seem to do it willingly.

    (Original post by ParadiseFound)
    Men can get literally get casual sex delivered to their front door now
    oh CAN THEY?! oh hows that then? you must be talking about using a prostitute right? I'm not sure if this still works in 2017 but... prostitutes still have to be PAID right??!

    (Original post by ParadiseFound)
    I don't think it's THAT ridiculous to expect your date to turn up with enough to pay her own bill and there are much more criteria she should be worrying about
    but it is VERY ridiculous to say its 'your treat', order her a whole bunch of stuff she didn't want and then ask her to pay for it.
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    Helluva tough topic.

    If the bloke has said its his treat etc then he should be the one paying, however, it does sound like some warped game he was playing to bait you into eating and drinking as much as possible so you then have to pay. Maybe he gets a thrill out of it. Maybe he does this to loads of women?

    Sell your story to the Daily Mail!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I went out with this guy who seemed really nice and funny. I wasn't really up for it but he insisted so I went along with it. He kept asking me to order more (wine, dessert etc) which was a bit full on but it was fine (free food, right). At the end of the date the total was 120 and he wanted me to pay for what I got and for him to pay for his. This usually would be completely fine but guess what? HE ONLY GOT AN ENTREE! So I ended up paying about 100 quid including service charge.

    I just don't understand what he's playing at. He is the one who practically begged me to go out with him to some annoying fancy place and then he hardly wants to eat anything but is ordering me all sorts. My friends say to ditch him but I can't help thinking that's a bit shallow. He was nice to look at though lol
    Wow... what kind of gentleman is he? Unless he's got something you really value, or has helped you before, I really wouldn't bother with a second date.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I went out with this guy who seemed really nice and funny. I wasn't really up for it but he insisted so I went along with it. He kept asking me to order more (wine, dessert etc) which was a bit full on but it was fine (free food, right). At the end of the date the total was 120 and he wanted me to pay for what I got and for him to pay for his. This usually would be completely fine but guess what? HE ONLY GOT AN ENTREE! So I ended up paying about 100 quid including service charge.

    I just don't understand what he's playing at. He is the one who practically begged me to go out with him to some annoying fancy place and then he hardly wants to eat anything but is ordering me all sorts. My friends say to ditch him but I can't help thinking that's a bit shallow. He was nice to look at though lol
    I've lived with girls expecting to be paid for and always felt it is a bad custom.
    However, this bloke seems to have some sort of agenda, his looks won't matter
    much when you're sick of the sight of him.
    If he asks you out again, tell him it will cost him £100 and you're picking the
    venue.
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    Seems like it was a **** move tbh , but you shouldn't have assumed he would pay.
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    (Original post by TSR Mustafa)
    Seems like it was a **** move tbh , but you shouldn't have assumed he would pay.
    He did say it was his treat.
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    21st Century, women can't expect men to pay.
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    It's bad what he did but you also deserve it for assuming it would be free anyway so..
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    #10

    Your story changed a little part way through. Original post didn't mention "my treat" etc.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Your story changed a little part way through. Original post didn't mention "my treat" etc.
    I thought it was obvious in the original post but people were confused as to why I thought he would pay or at least offer to, therefore I clarified. Perhaps it was a crucial detail but I didn't realise when writing the original post that it was so important to people's opinion on my date.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The problem for me isn't with paying, because that's not an issue for me. I always offer to pay and I am not disheartened if the offer to split is taken up. I don't expect people to pay for me on dates, in fact I prefer to pay for myself. The issue is the way he was acting. He kept saying 'please let me take you out to eat, my treat' which implies he will offer to pay OR AT LEAST split it half way. I think it's a **** move to keep insisting on ordering more and more food and wine and champagne and all sorts just to ask me to pay for most of it. I didn't decide the restaurant and I didn't decide what to eat. He had been to the place many times and kept reccommending the most expensive stuff for him to then ask me to pay. Am I being irrational or is this guy just a weirdo?
    Let's be absolutely clear, he behaved like a c0ck. I can't believe you're even thinking about a second date, have some self respect!
 
 
 
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