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Having a hard time settling in to uni Watch

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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    It's my third week at uni and I'm finding it tough to settle in. First of all, I got put with flatmates who couldn't be more different to me. They are all very extroverted and outgoing, they go out drinking multiple times a week whereas I don't drink at all and am about as introverted as it gets. There's always pre drinks in our flat and they have loud music playing in the kitchen with about 30 people in there, I go in sometimes to try and be social but I'm just not a social person and find it exhausting after a while. Sometimes I don't even get to have dinner until 11pm because I'm waiting for them all to go out before I can cook. I've had quite bad social anxiety for the last few years and honestly I've forgotten what it feels like to have friends, so now that I have this new opportunity of making friends I don't really know what to do. I don't know how to act around people. I'm very insecure and always feel that I'm annoying or weird, or that people just don't want to talk to me. I don't know why I feel this way but I can't shake it. I feel very lonely and isolated. I've also been sick this past week and missed almost all my lectures, and I'm really struggling to catch up. I'm studying computer science and I have no prior programming experience so I feel really behind and I'm not sure what to do about it or who to go to for help with this. Sorry that this is long I'm just really stressed and upset right now, any advice would be really appreciated thank you
    • #2
    #2

    If you're not a social person then there's no point trying to be sociable with other people. You can't help being physically sick, that's something that will definitely pass quickly. Building some self-esteem is important as you say 'I don't know how to act around people. I'm very insecure and always feel that I'm annoying or weird, or that people just don't want to talk to me. I don't know why I feel this way but I can't shake it. I feel very lonely and isolated.' This is a direct consequence of your self-esteem issues.

    People definitely do not find you 'annoying or weird' - everybody has enough private stuff going on in their personal lives to care about what another person is going through, unless it is something genuinely serious like depression or a diagnosed mental illness.

    Have a look on your University website to see what societies etc exist, and attend one of them. You don't know what might happen, but taking that chance is usually better than not. I went to Uni a relatively shy person back in 2015 and now as I start my final year I have completely changed, so who's to say it won't happen to you as well?
 
 
 
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