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    Hi guys,
    Looking for some feedback on this PS. hoping you can be as critical as possible, thanks:

    Whether it's disassembling alarm clocks with no hope of reassembly or replacing motors in RC cars, even as a child I've been known to be inquisitive and to want to understand the world.
    As I've grown older I've found interest in penetration testing, Linux distributions and creating live USBs; Broadening my perspective on how important security is and how the dangers they pose are so unaccustomed.
    My end goal has always been definite, to work for the government at GCHQ as a software engineer, taking a specific pathway to ensure I get there. This had stemmed from being taught about encryption algorithms in school, was reinforced by our trip to Bletchley and has transitioned into an appetite for problem solving.
    For my EPQ in college, I used the GPIO repository and create a home automation system with it, my web server and an 8-channel relay which can control things like lights and motors; incorporating vb to create a voice-controlled system.
    At 10, I remember being given additional tutoring where, as a small group, we would learn critical thinking, problem solving and memory techniques. This has stuck with me and is a common theme in my thought process and approach to problems, breaking problems down into almost mental pseudocode.
    Throughout school I would always take up any offer involving a challenge, this led to the EBP presentation, where we gave a speech to 200+ people wholly in Spanish about a fictitious business and came runners-up, the higher and lower school maths challenges every year and now the physics Olympiad. I enjoy these as they offer an unconventional set of questions that pose an unconventional challenge. Also, I received the Scott Donoly award during school, this is given to one person in the entire school and aims to recognize 'exceptional talent' regarding ICT & CS and completed my Bronze and most of my Gold Duke of Edinburgh award. In year 13 I participated in the HE+, experience university style maths lectures that explored applied maths and some of the more complex ideas that were used in computing.
    Since turning 13 I have been in work, starting as a paper boy; then a waiter. The income from this part time work contributing to my first PC build. My school work experience resulted in full time summer employment for the next 3 years. Here I soldered components, diagnosed and swapped hardware components and then tested before shipping.
    After my GCSEs, I applied for a job in a computer repair shop and was given the role of 'weekend manager'. I would open and run the shop alone; talking to customers, consulting them on problems, taking payment and fixing any issues they had. These issues were usually related to virus removal although often the repair would require OS reinstallation, hardware troubleshooting, and replacement; primarily repairing laptops but iPhones and desktops are also common.
    In the past I’ve written programs in various languages and will often go back to tinker. Some examples include Python Encryption programs, several websites written using MySQL, PHP etc, the start of a P2P TCP remote access aid, repair menus for use at work and other, just as random, utilities. I’ve also begun hosting websites for small businesses on my WAMP server under my desk, earning a few pounds each month.
    University will give me the key to the door to a career in the government, doing my part for the country in the field I feel I will excel most in. The future will almost all be digital and so studying a course in a subject that the whole world will revolve around seems an easy decision.


    thankssss
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    Argh please remove this as soon as possible! It will get picked up by plagiarism!
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    (Original post by MediumFanta)
    Hi guys,
    Looking for some feedback on this PS. hoping you can be as critical as possible, thanks:

    Whether it's disassembling alarm clocks with no hope of reassembly or replacing motors in RC cars, even as a child I've been known to be inquisitive and to want to understand the world.
    As I've grown older I've found interest in penetration testing, Linux distributions and creating live USBs; Broadening my perspective on how important security is and how the dangers they pose are so unaccustomed.
    My end goal has always been definite, to work for the government at GCHQ as a software engineer, taking a specific pathway to ensure I get there. This had stemmed from being taught about encryption algorithms in school, was reinforced by our trip to Bletchley and has transitioned into an appetite for problem solving.
    For my EPQ in college, I used the GPIO repository and create a home automation system with it, my web server and an 8-channel relay which can control things like lights and motors; incorporating vb to create a voice-controlled system.
    At 10, I remember being given additional tutoring where, as a small group, we would learn critical thinking, problem solving and memory techniques. This has stuck with me and is a common theme in my thought process and approach to problems, breaking problems down into almost mental pseudocode.
    Throughout school I would always take up any offer involving a challenge, this led to the EBP presentation, where we gave a speech to 200+ people wholly in Spanish about a fictitious business and came runners-up, the higher and lower school maths challenges every year and now the physics Olympiad. I enjoy these as they offer an unconventional set of questions that pose an unconventional challenge. Also, I received the Scott Donoly award during school, this is given to one person in the entire school and aims to recognize 'exceptional talent' regarding ICT & CS and completed my Bronze and most of my Gold Duke of Edinburgh award. In year 13 I participated in the HE+, experience university style maths lectures that explored applied maths and some of the more complex ideas that were used in computing.
    Since turning 13 I have been in work, starting as a paper boy; then a waiter. The income from this part time work contributing to my first PC build. My school work experience resulted in full time summer employment for the next 3 years. Here I soldered components, diagnosed and swapped hardware components and then tested before shipping.
    After my GCSEs, I applied for a job in a computer repair shop and was given the role of 'weekend manager'. I would open and run the shop alone; talking to customers, consulting them on problems, taking payment and fixing any issues they had. These issues were usually related to virus removal although often the repair would require OS reinstallation, hardware troubleshooting, and replacement; primarily repairing laptops but iPhones and desktops are also common.
    In the past I’ve written programs in various languages and will often go back to tinker. Some examples include Python Encryption programs, several websites written using MySQL, PHP etc, the start of a P2P TCP remote access aid, repair menus for use at work and other, just as random, utilities. I’ve also begun hosting websites for small businesses on my WAMP server under my desk, earning a few pounds each month.
    University will give me the key to the door to a career in the government, doing my part for the country in the field I feel I will excel most in. The future will almost all be digital and so studying a course in a subject that the whole world will revolve around seems an easy decision.


    thankssss
    Well done, this has now been indexed by Google and it will trigger the UCAS plagiarism software when you submit it. You need to start all over again. UCAS specifically tells you in its terms and conditions not to post your personal statement anywhere online.

    You've used a semicolon incorrectly and it's a very sloppy personal statement overall.
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    With all due respect, you've seriously messed this up; its common knowledge to not post your PS anywhere and TSR has enough warning about regardless!
 
 
 
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