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Sky's Survival Journal (Mk.II) Watch

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    Day 5
    Indelible Advance

    So, with some complications and difficulties aside, the UCAS Trigger has finally been cast! I wasn't able to apply for just Genetics owing to my reference-giver being a Biology lecturer, but I'm pretty happy with how things have gone so far as is Have made some personal progress as well, I think.

    My choices, with explanations, are in the spoiler tag below. Mainly because I like people being able to choose how much rubbish they ingest in one post :wavingtheflag:

    University
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    • University of Surrey - Biological Science (4 Year)currently the best university for Biology after the 'Big 5', it's close to home, small and comfortable, and very natural. It doesn't focus on Genetics specifically, but allows a placement year and still deals pretty heavily in Anatomical, Organismal and Genetic Biology, so I'm pretty happy with its content :nod:
    • Queen's University Belfast - Biological Science (MSci, 5 Year) One of the constant choices, I've recognised the importance of being in a location I like, as well as the fact I actually know a lot of people in Belfast already; that is in stark contrast to here, where I've struggled greatly not knowing anyone. Also I was promised free beer by my best friend if I went :rofl:
    • University of Aberdeen - Genetics with Industrial Experience (MSci, 5 Year)An ancient university is already enough of a boast, but the fact that it equips you so well for further research (i.e. MSci for the STP and work experience in the field to build contacts) can't be ignored. It's a lovely, cold and quiet little place, one I'm definitely captivated by - although it does insist on not getting into focused Genetics until late-Y2/Y3 is a little depressing. I had considered Glasgow as well in place of KCL, but Glasgow is simply too big; Aberdeen is perfectly cosy for someone not particularly party-hardy.
    • University of Leeds - Genetics (MBiol, 4 Year)The course content is incredible at giving a little bit of everything while still being focused on Genetics a great deal. Chartered Biologist status at the end of it is gonna feel so good too. The location isn't the smallest or the greenest, but it is friendly based on my recent visit. Also it's one of few places where the accent doesn't grate on me after a while (but who's surprised about that?)
    • King's College London - Molecular Genetics (MSci, 4 Year)To be honest, London isn't my preferred location. But it is extremely reputable if you can't get into UCL or ICL, like I can't. Reputation is apparently very important in science if you want to go into professional research, and KCL's course is very strong on the medical and clinical applications of Genetics. I have never been to KCL nor even seen what it's like due to a fear of London, but it seems solid enough as a 5th choice.

    Honourable mentions:
    • Bangor (Medical Biology) - apparently my place at Cardiff isn't lost if I try to apply elsewhere, losing the need to apply to lower universities. If prestige matters in getting into a professional scientific role I won't squander that. Also the fact it's in a financial crisis thanks to its president really isn't inspiring.
    • Sussex (Genetics) - considered going there, but remembered I would rather die than live in Brighton. Even KCL is reluctantly :laugh:
    • Edinburgh (Biological Science - Genetics) - figured it wasn't worth wasting a spot on a university with a ridiculously high rejection rate and, at the same time, ridiculously low satisfaction rate. I've heard similar of Glasgow, something about lecturers wanting to focus more on their research than teaching. :dontknow:
    • Keele (NatSci) - literally rejected from applying.



    Personal Stuff
    (it's easier than putting a million categories in )
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    After speaking with the university counsellor a bit more, I began to understand that in some ways, I've been jeopardising my own happiness in many ways ever since about 2014 or so. I don't really know what sparked it, but in essence, I just started to conform to what others wanted or started changing to match others' expectations almost automatically, especially with my former partner, who I realise I just gave up everything I actually enjoyed for.

    Simple things like playing games I would sometimes give up, just because I was told it was the most unattractive thing to a woman. Sometimes I would give up doing what I wanted to, just because someone thought it was stupid or weird. I literally gave up doing Genetics because I was constantly told it wasn't employable or worth anything, gave up enjoying anything that became mainstream (Adventure Time and Undertale are two examples), just because I felt it must now be bad somehow.

    Somewhere along the line, I started incorporating elements of Rebekah into myself subconsciously, for example beginning to pick up her cello, Irish language, dying my hair blond, and apparently, I've picked up a slight Irish accent from the amount of time I've spent in Wicklow over the past few months. Again, none of this was by my own efforts, but there's a key point to all of this -

    It's not at all surprising I began to lose my own sense of identity and have no idea why when my own brain was starting to subconsciously pick up traits that aren't mine, or when I consciously push away any traits that actually do make me happy to start pleasing people I don't know and have no reason to care - much less conform to.

    So, as you might've seen by the fact I've now picked three Genetics courses despite being told it's not worth the paper the degree's printed on...I've decided NOT to conform to this. The subconscious elements I'm going to decide in my own time; the cello is actually useful being my only way into the Music Society until I pick up my very special harp next year, the Irish has helped me connect with a couple of people from County Cork / Dublin on my course, and the accent...well, I actually don't know how to fix that. I'd have to fake an accent for real, which defeats the point :rofl:

    The difficult thing to know right now is whether or not I'm right in wanting to hold on to some things. Namely Rebekah and the others, I guess. I'm not quite as helplessly connected as once upon a time, but somehow, I just feel weaker if I try to pretend, or forget, that I'm still doing all of this because of them. I haven't let it get in the way of trying to socialise and make friends at this university, so I don't think it would be problematic in the next either. I mean, I'm literally in a group project for my Disease module with two girls named Charlotte and Rebekah. A few years ago it might've paralysed me; it doesn't affect me now.

    In essence, I guess it's hard because I know I'm making a lot of progress, and yet simultaneously, feel like I'm making none.

    Regardless, the point very much remains I want to fix myself and be my own person, in whatever form that takes, by the time I start my next university. Whether that means I embrace the past and move forward, or try to leave everything behind, I know the one crucial aspect is my own happiness in whatever I'm doing. If that means being at a smaller university, doing the course I've always had my interest in, keeping my friends in memory and heart, and not trying so hard to conform to please others...well, if I can actually manage all of that, I think that by the time I can start for real, things will be great. :yep:
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    Writing in haste, but glad your counsellor is helping. Good luck with UCAS! :hugs:
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    DAY 6
    Via Incertum


    Hey guys! Hope you've all been okay Seems like the workload's started up for people now, I've literally been pulling all-nighters for a few days to get my coursework done ;-; Never want to hear the word "polysaccharide" again!!

    University
    Can't honestly say it's gotten better, but an attitude adjustment has been in order for definite. I've managed to get over the issues about feeling isolated and not having friends or a social life though - since the UCAS Trigger has finally been pulled, I've managed to start working harder and more effectively by not caring about any of it. It might not be that healthy, but weirdly, not caring so much has made me feel more comfortable with people and stuff!

    I've been taking trips to Bangor a lot lately (more on that later) on work experience though, and something I've noticed is that my Welsh has really come alive again, something I'm really happy about. You never really hear it in Cardiff, although I'm taking some night courses with the university to make sure I stay up to scratch with things.

    Biology isn't giving me any trouble and honestly cementing my belief I'm picking the right course, which feels lovely to know. Maths is just as bad as I remember, although most of it is at least familiar thanks to AS Physics. CHEMISTRY THO CAN WE NOT. Unit 1 is almost done and I swear I've had to teach myself everything! At least it's good teaching me to be independent with my studying, but for real I'm amazed how anyone manages to do a Chemistry degree here.

    Past + Future

    Rare case I can combine both and actually have something to say! Being in said isolation means you have a lot of time to yourself, which once upon a time used to mean just getting sad and not doing anything. I'm happy to say that hasn't been this case since going to university. I still had some regrets about not applying for Physics or Medicine "for her", but in the end managed to rationalise things. She wouldn't have wanted it, for a start, but more than that...I realised it's the same reason I decided against Marine Biology or anything overly nature-related; I love Astronomy, but as an observer. I like looking at the Moon more than knowing exactly how it moves, orbits, breathes, etc - and it reminds me of the old advice that "what we're good at, and what we're interested in, often aren't the same thing". I would've worked as hard as I needed to in order to succeed, but my own results so far (96% average!!) remind me this is truly what I should be doing.

    On two future notes, I've taken every opportunity to get involved with my interests, and set up work experience in both Genetics (with the All Wales Genetics Service) and in Biophysics (with researchers at Cardiff as an assistant), and so far, it's just reaffirmed this is what I want to be doing. I think moving away from Medicine rigidly has been good for me as well - over time I've realised the reason I love Biology is because to me, it's a science of discovery and wonder. Medicine is a very heavy topic, and not always a happy one - so the move towards straight Biology, and Genetics moreover, is actually good for my mental health in a way. Soon enough, I'll get to spend my time doing just this :yep:

    New Roads Lead to Home

    Said I'd been back to Bangor a lot lately! Not honestly much to say here because I've just been going for my own fun most of the time, but I've been paying attention to the university itself, and been trying to think a lot about some aspects of it.

    I am capable of getting into Russell Group universities and have been considered by the 4th best university in the country for Biology already. I can succeed in my course and have no fear about getting a good enough grade to get in anywhere that throws an offer my way.

    And yet Bangor, a small university with nowhere near the same reputation, happens to be my favourite location and course content (except for possibly Leeds). It's a very bizarre dichotomy between "this place is perfect for me!" and "this place could be bad for my career", as I'm sure anyone is aware of the necessity to get into the best university possible given the diminishing number of PhD and Postdoc positions each passing year.

    Then again, Aberystwyth is technically a worse university, but has a few Royals in its alumni.

    Surrey, Leeds, Edinburgh and Belfast are all excellent places with reputation, so that's not the problem so much; if Surrey or Leeds accepts me, chances are I'd lean towards them. It's just slightly irking me, for some reason. I'm sure it's nothing, though, and once one of the better ones give me an offer it probably won't matter, but...well, rankings in this country seem to be a bizarre mystery.




    For every person claiming with gospel truth "they mean everything", you've got another outcrying "go where you feel best".
    Who do you even listen to?



    If I were to go to Bangor though, and PhDs weren't an option, I've been thinking about teaching. I've been doing it a lot in this foundation year by being the only person to have done both Biology and Chemistry A Level before, and discovered I'm actually quite good at it; combine that with my ability to speak Welsh, and I don't think it'd be difficult to find employment if I went for a PGCE after. It's a road to consider, providing Michael Gove hasn't been anywhere near the field by the time I graduate

    Hope you guys have been well?




    PS.

    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Writing in haste, but glad your counsellor is helping. Good luck with UCAS! :hugs:
    Sorry I didn't reply, darned notifications :shakecane: Thank you! Good luck with whatever you're getting up to :hugs:
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    Good to hear of what you've been getting up to

    I think the whole uni rankings thing is totally overblown in this country and on this website especially. Generally speaking, providing you don't want to be a barrister or an investment banker, the uni you go to doesn't matter too much for most career paths. This includes going onto a PhD etc. What matters more is the degree classification and the rest of your CV :yep:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Good to hear of what you've been getting up to

    I think the whole uni rankings thing is totally overblown in this country and on this website especially. Generally speaking, providing you don't want to be a barrister or an investment banker, the uni you go to doesn't matter too much for most career paths. This includes going onto a PhD etc. What matters more is the degree classification and the rest of your CV :yep:
    How've things been going for you?

    I definitely thought it might just be a TSR thing. There are a LOT of talented people (I mean look at you for one, got into Oxford and does a PhD) but it does adopt an elitism from time to time. I've heard that science increasingly requires a higher university, I think that's why it mattered to me more. Of course a 1st from Bangor is better than a 2:2 from Surrey I have to assume.

    Still thank you - appreciate the clarity, it's hard to find sometimes :hugs:
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    (Original post by CastCuraga)
    How've things been going for you?

    I definitely thought it might just be a TSR thing. There are a LOT of talented people (I mean look at you for one, got into Oxford and does a PhD) but it does adopt an elitism from time to time. I've heard that science increasingly requires a higher university, I think that's why it mattered to me more. Of course a 1st from Bangor is better than a 2:2 from Surrey I have to assume.

    Still thank you - appreciate the clarity, it's hard to find sometimes :hugs:
    Take it from someone with a 2.2 from Oxford - a 2.2 does you no favours, no matter how "prestigious" the uni is :nope: So a 1st from Bangor would def trump a 2.2 from Surrey :yep:

    Things are mostly alright, I guess. I'm very tired and lacking energy but otherwise not too bad thanks. Bit mopey but otherwise fine
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Take it from someone with a 2.2 from Oxford - a 2.2 does you no favours, no matter how "prestigious" the uni is :nope: So a 1st from Bangor would def trump a 2.2 from Surrey :yep:

    Things are mostly alright, I guess. I'm very tired and lacking energy but otherwise not too bad thanks. Bit mopey but otherwise fine
    Did it not help you onto a PhD though? I'm sort of surprised having an Oxford alumnus status doesn't help, but then that could again be just lies i've heard on here and in popular rhetoric

    Think that's common for the season, on top of the hard work you're doing! Am always here if you need, am glad you're doing okay though :yep:
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    (Original post by CastCuraga)
    Did it not help you onto a PhD though? I'm sort of surprised having an Oxford alumnus status doesn't help, but then that could again be just lies i've heard on here and in popular rhetoric

    Think that's common for the season, on top of the hard work you're doing! Am always here if you need, am glad you're doing okay though :yep:
    What got me onto my PhD course was that I had a very strong reference from a Big Name in my field. That counted for a lot. Big Name was at Oxford when I was but is now at KCL and had previously been at Queen's University, Belfast for a while. There are Big Names dotted all over the UK tbh! They're not exclusive to Oxbridge or even the Russell Group (despite what people here may tell you) :nah:

    And thanks
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    What got me onto my PhD course was that I had a very strong reference from a Big Name in my field. That counted for a lot. Big Name was at Oxford when I was but is now at KCL and had previously been at Queen's University, Belfast for a while. There are Big Names dotted all over the UK tbh! They're not exclusive to Oxbridge or even the Russell Group (despite what people here may tell you) :nah:

    And thanks
    Hm, so wherever I go there's probably at least one? Or hell, Bangor itself might let me stay provided it doesn't go bankrupt
    But nah, that is genuinely reassuring so thank you :yep:
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    Rankings aren't everything TLG put it better than I can (as per ) but it's all stuff to consider together. I could have got in somewhere I fair bit better with my grades, especially as I was technically applying as a mature student, but Keele works for me and I have more chance of succeeding here than anywhere. Maybe I'll go somewhere else for postgrad, if I get as far as a PhD I almost certainly will, but for now this is great. See what offers you get and go from there anyway. You don't ultimately have to decide until fairly late on and you have plenty of time between now and then

    Glad you're feeling a bit more comfortable about uni stuff, too! I think you'd make a great teacher for the record, and science ones are always in demand wherever you go. A route worth considering!
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    (Original post by furryface12)
    Rankings aren't everything TLG put it better than I can (as per ) but it's all stuff to consider together. I could have got in somewhere I fair bit better with my grades, especially as I was technically applying as a mature student, but Keele works for me and I have more chance of succeeding here than anywhere. Maybe I'll go somewhere else for postgrad, if I get as far as a PhD I almost certainly will, but for now this is great. See what offers you get and go from there anyway. You don't ultimately have to decide until fairly late on and you have plenty of time between now and then

    Glad you're feeling a bit more comfortable about uni stuff, too! I think you'd make a great teacher for the record, and science ones are always in demand wherever you go. A route worth considering!
    Haha, fair! I had to pick my final 5 while my tutor had to resend it (cursed UCAS!) so I got Aberdeen, Bangor, Belfast, Leeds and Surrey. Seems like half of them are very reputable and the other half aren't as difficult to get into

    Still between you and TLG I definitely understand the importance of being somewhere you're happy. I even went back and started analysing the pros and cons of like 20 universities and just somehow managed to come back to these 5 without even realising it til the end :rofl:

    Ahah, you think so? What gives you that idea? But yep, definitely will consider it! If my science classes at GCSE and below were anything to go by, it seems like the kind of subject that bores people easily though...on the other hand, you'll always have people needing you for things like Medicine etc...

    I wonder is it possible to teach/do PGCE in 2 subjects? I'd happily do Biology and Physics tbh :rofl:
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    DAY 7
    Weakness

    Warning: Rambling TLDR post. Can't see psychologist for a while so this is gonna have to be how i get stuff out i think bc there's a lot to explode

    Perhaps it's good this blog isn't as followed as the last one. I don't honestly vent about sadness so much anymore, so when I finally need to on a day like today, it almost feels better. This is just going to be rambling, mostly because I can't see my psychologist/counsellor person for a while. Don't worry about replying or anything, it's probably mainly just stuff that can't be answered I need to get out.

    No other life on this planet feels lasting regret like humans seem to. A plant doesn't worry that it didn't soak up enough sunlight today, a cat doesn't regret knocking your favourite bowl off the counter. Only we seem to and it's times like this I just look back at what could have been and simply despair at what things are now. It's a type of weakness I've never really known how to fight, if it's possible to. It's like a lingering shadow that drapes at your back, desperate to hold on.

    A person's life can forever change in just a single moment. You might lose a loved one horrifically and never know how to live without them. You might make one decision you could never predict the outcome to. You might be foolish enough to expose yourself to love, and all the weaknesses that come with it. It's this continuous cycle of decisions that could have been done differently, and the consequence of not having done so, leading you to today. It can be maddening.

    I despise being weak, and yet I regret the multitude of times I've let myself be. My weakness is what made my GCSEs poor and forced a much longer route onto Biology. My willing weakness for 2 years let someone take absolute control over me under 'love', and then I was enough of an idiot to repeat it even this year. So it's a dichotomy, really; despise being weak, and yet be unable to escape regret and the weakness that comes with it...

    But that idea, of "willing weakness" - why? Why do we open ourselves up and let people and thoughts and actions hurt us? Why do we give complete control to someone and trust them not to misuse it when relationships only end in one of two ways anyway? And how about thoughts we know are bad or unhelpful, but we continue to just keep them in our psyche in the vain belief it fixes something?

    When I think of it like that, I realise that despising weakness in any form comes with the irony of having willing weaknesses. We notice attractive people and form attractions even if it hurts us, and if we lose people, we try desperately to keep any memory of them in our heart and mind as if somehow, it brings them back to us for a while. And then we let ourselves be haunted for a while, and let reality sink in.

    For all that depressing rhetoric, I think what maddens me most is not knowing why we do this, and why we sometimes just can't shut off the parts of our brain that make us unhappy or hinder us (without the use of some dopamine-hijacking agent)? We are, if Biological theory is meant to be believed, the most emotionally and mentally capable species on the planet, and yet our own BRAINS are against us sometimes.

    It especially just makes me wonder how I can break this cycle, now I know I'll be leaving this university soon enough. What honestly is to stop another university from being like this? It's this "willing weakness" that I want to believe there's better out there come next autumn, that there's a future, friends, and all else that makes a normal, healthy life. But I also spent most of the year on another thread wanting desperately to believe in that too, only to get here in all its mess.

    Is it just a matter of perspective, even willing disbelief if things are bad? Do other people just instinctively know how this works and didn't expect so much? I don't know. I don't think anyone knows, because their own university experience will be different from the next person's. Yet, at the same time, the idea that "university is the best time of your life" has been paraded around as a matter-of-fact for literally as long as I can remember.

    Maybe it really is just willing disbelief that anything is good, even when it really isn't. To me I honestly can't imagine anyone opening themselves up to weakness any more than that. But if it really is just what everyone else does to make university the "best time of your life", it probably isn't surprising I never knew how to roll with it so far.

    All I know is that as of yet, the willing weakness of wanting to believe that "things will be better" hasn't worked here. Maybe it's just that there really are *****y housemates, awful teaching and the wrong environment, but there's no way of knowing how anything will be different. It's just blind faith.

    I legitimately think all anyone wants is a small place to call home and someone to love and support them. It seems in the modern world both are just as impossible to find without a lot of pain or difficulty, though.

    ...man, it's been a while since i just rambled and got my thoughts out like this. Now i remember why i wasted so much of the last thread on it...
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    Huge hugs :console:

    (Massively hypocritical paragraph coming up here...)

    I've only ever loved/been in love with one person and that was a pretty horrendous experience... Despite it being horrific though, I do think that being able to love another and to allow ourselves to be loved, is (when it goes well, however fleetingly that might be) one of the most valuable human experiences we can be partial to. It's something that makes us truly alive and makes life worth living. I don't believe we have much control over falling for people but even if we did, I think many of us would 'opt in' for the whole "falling in love" thing because when it works out, it's glorious. And even if it doesn't work out, it's a risk many of us might deem worth taking.

    I do hear where you're coming from though :console:

    As for the whole "uni is the best days of your life" thing... it's very overhyped and sadly people don't realise how hard it can be, or that it takes time to stumble upon and build up the friendships that are worth keeping :sadnod:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Huge hugs :console:

    (Massively hypocritical paragraph coming up here...)

    I've only ever loved/been in love with one person and that was a pretty horrendous experience... Despite it being horrific though, I do think that being able to love another and to allow ourselves to be loved, is (when it goes well, however fleetingly that might be) one of the most valuable human experiences we can be partial to. It's something that makes us truly alive and makes life worth living. I don't believe we have much control over falling for people but even if we did, I think many of us would 'opt in' for the whole "falling in love" thing because when it works out, it's glorious. And even if it doesn't work out, it's a risk many of us might deem worth taking.

    I do hear where you're coming from though :console:

    As for the whole "uni is the best days of your life" thing... it's very overhyped and sadly people don't realise how hard it can be, or that it takes time to stumble upon and build up the friendships that are worth keeping :sadnod:
    I wouldn't say it's hypocritical, honestly. It sounds wise to me :yep:

    I do see what you're saying, I just...eh, I don't know. I sort of feel like if you do get into a relationship of some kind, you're always living knowing one day everything can change, such that if you hadn't tried to get the fleeting happiness, you wouldn't know what you'd actually lost yknow? Guess I'm not really the best person to ask. I just sort of beat myself up for ever having tried to get it ahah

    Is that something you noticed when you first went? I think people say that because, for a lot of people it's liberating. Because let's be honest, some of them can essentially be unemployed alcoholics whose parents are still proud of them :laugh:

    I honestly wasn't expecting a response or anything, but am always grateful for the time you put into responding so thank you so much :hugs:
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    (Original post by CastCuraga)
    I wouldn't say it's hypocritical, honestly. It sounds wise to me :yep:

    I do see what you're saying, I just...eh, I don't know. I sort of feel like if you do get into a relationship of some kind, you're always living knowing one day everything can change, such that if you hadn't tried to get the fleeting happiness, you wouldn't know what you'd actually lost yknow? Guess I'm not really the best person to ask. I just sort of beat myself up for ever having tried to get it ahah

    Is that something you noticed when you first went? I think people say that because, for a lot of people it's liberating. Because let's be honest, some of them can essentially be unemployed alcoholics whose parents are still proud of them :laugh:

    I honestly wasn't expecting a response or anything, but am always grateful for the time you put into responding so thank you so much :hugs:
    It is pretty hypocritical coz I've sworn off from love, trusting people, and relationships in general :lol:

    It is true that you can't miss what you've never known and that in that sense, there's something to be said for not getting involved with others. But I do think the capacity to love and be loved is important in our experiences as humans. And that we can gain something even from those relationships that don't go smoothly/to plan.

    I was lucky in that when I went to uni, I wasn't on any of these kinda student forums where everything hyped up so much. And social media was much more basic/less used in those days! (I started uni in 2007 :shakecane: ) So whilst I definitely found uni liberating (in the sense of living away from my parents for the first time!), there wasn't all this pressure and hype to live up to. I was also very lucky that most of my flatmates were nice and there was a real sense of camaraderie among us. Oxford's tutorial system meant that I became quite close to my tutorial partners fairly swiftly (there were only three of us in my college in my year in my subject!) but making other friendships took a LOT longer :eek: I only began making proper friendships in my second year, I'd say, in all honesty :ninja:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    It is pretty hypocritical coz I've sworn off from love, trusting people, and relationships in general :lol:

    It is true that you can't miss what you've never known and that in that sense, there's something to be said for not getting involved with others. But I do think the capacity to love and be loved is important in our experiences as humans. And that we can gain something even from those relationships that don't go smoothly/to plan.

    I was lucky in that when I went to uni, I wasn't on any of these kinda student forums where everything hyped up so much. And social media was much more basic/less used in those days! (I started uni in 2007 :shakecane: ) So whilst I definitely found uni liberating (in the sense of living away from my parents for the first time!), there wasn't all this pressure and hype to live up to. I was also very lucky that most of my flatmates were nice and there was a real sense of camaraderie among us. Oxford's tutorial system meant that I became quite close to my tutorial partners fairly swiftly (there were only three of us in my college in my year in my subject!) but making other friendships took a LOT longer :eek: I only began making proper friendships in my second year, I'd say, in all honesty :ninja:
    I mean...okay I see your point, but I know you have reasons for that so it's not really :rofl:

    Hm...yeah, I think I get it. It's a life experience after all, even the WHO classes being single as a disability so :moon:
    If it's something that you should be open to though, what do you do when you aren't? I mean, don't feel anything like that? What sorta happened was at some point I just went "nope no love, it just makes me weak and insecure", and then forgot how to feel the thing

    I think for OXFORD of all places you probably had plenty of other pressures to deal with, no? But no I see your point, social media has definitely had its negatives when it comes to "herd mentality" I think it's called? I mean, by a good chunk of this website users' standards, my current university and my 5 choices are all 'not good enough' (except possibly Edinburgh). If it's good enough for you, I think that must be all that matters?

    The flatmates and classmates being nice I think is definitely an important facet of university I've not had luck with so far; again it is sort of a case of "you can never tell til you get there", though! I have to admit though, hearing this:

    " only began making proper friendships in my second year, I'd say, in all honesty https://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/...lies/ninja.gif"

    is actually really reassuring. Again probably thanks to social media, I was under the impression if you don't make friends during Freshers or at the least Year 1, you'll be a loner. Glad to hear friendships do develop later on in a course! :yep:
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    (Original post by CastCuraga)
    I mean...okay I see your point, but I know you have reasons for that so it's not really :rofl:

    Hm...yeah, I think I get it. It's a life experience after all, even the WHO classes being single as a disability so :moon:
    If it's something that you should be open to though, what do you do when you aren't? I mean, don't feel anything like that? What sorta happened was at some point I just went "nope no love, it just makes me weak and insecure", and then forgot how to feel the thing

    I think for OXFORD of all places you probably had plenty of other pressures to deal with, no? But no I see your point, social media has definitely had its negatives when it comes to "herd mentality" I think it's called? I mean, by a good chunk of this website users' standards, my current university and my 5 choices are all 'not good enough' (except possibly Edinburgh). If it's good enough for you, I think that must be all that matters?

    The flatmates and classmates being nice I think is definitely an important facet of university I've not had luck with so far; again it is sort of a case of "you can never tell til you get there", though! I have to admit though, hearing this:

    " only began making proper friendships in my second year, I'd say, in all honesty https://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/...lies/ninja.gif"

    is actually really reassuring. Again probably thanks to social media, I was under the impression if you don't make friends during Freshers or at the least Year 1, you'll be a loner. Glad to hear friendships do develop later on in a course! :yep:
    The question of what you do when you aren't open to it is a tricky one. I guess at that point, you have to weigh up the pros and cons of feeling things again and decide if it's something you want/that would benefit you. And if it is, then you try and work on that with a therapist maybe? At least, that's what's got me starting to feel things again... :dontknow:

    Yeah Oxford was massively stressful for various reasons. Would I class it as the best days of my life? I don't know tbh. Part of me would, and then part of me is like HELL TO THE NO I don't regret going but it was very tough in a number of ways that it should never have been

    TSR has a very unhealthy attitude towards university and course selections, in all honesty. The people on here lack perspective/actual knowledge of how things work in the real world, and are a bit nuts tbh Like you say, so long as you are happy with your choices and you have done your research and are making informed decisions that you can justify to yourself (not to others, who gives a **** what others think tbh), then that's what counts

    Yeah I mean, I had friends in first year but those friendships aren't the ones that are standing the test of time! So be patient and give things time. There's plenty of time to make friends. In fact, some friendships I made with uni friends only happened after we both left the uni :lol: So all sorts can happen
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    The question of what you do when you aren't open to it is a tricky one. I guess at that point, you have to weigh up the pros and cons of feeling things again and decide if it's something you want/that would benefit you. And if it is, then you try and work on that with a therapist maybe? At least, that's what's got me starting to feel things again... :dontknow:

    Yeah Oxford was massively stressful for various reasons. Would I class it as the best days of my life? I don't know tbh. Part of me would, and then part of me is like HELL TO THE NO I don't regret going but it was very tough in a number of ways that it should never have been

    TSR has a very unhealthy attitude towards university and course selections, in all honesty. The people on here lack perspective/actual knowledge of how things work in the real world, and are a bit nuts tbh Like you say, so long as you are happy with your choices and you have done your research and are making informed decisions that you can justify to yourself (not to others, who gives a **** what others think tbh), then that's what counts

    Yeah I mean, I had friends in first year but those friendships aren't the ones that are standing the test of time! So be patient and give things time. There's plenty of time to make friends. In fact, some friendships I made with uni friends only happened after we both left the uni :lol: So all sorts can happen
    If it worked for you, definitely seems like something worth considering. Hopefully can get on that with my psychologist soon ;-;

    Can only sympathise there, but you seem happier at your current uni at the least :yes: Once you have a PhD you have more freedom to leave and head somewhere else as well if you found you needed to I think, right? ^^

    It is a bit worrying, particularly because of how widespread it is. For example all this stuff about how you "have to get into an RG or it's a waste of £30000" TSR itself was promoting the other day; I'd be surprised if the RG even lasted another 10 years! Am certainly looking to be happy rather than become an education-robot in a place I don't much like

    Haha, I wouldn't have imagined that happened! Your own experiences are just a load of surprises to me, seems there's plenty more to give time once I'm out of here
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    (Original post by CastCuraga)
    If it worked for you, definitely seems like something worth considering. Hopefully can get on that with my psychologist soon ;-;

    Can only sympathise there, but you seem happier at your current uni at the least :yes: Once you have a PhD you have more freedom to leave and head somewhere else as well if you found you needed to I think, right? ^^

    It is a bit worrying, particularly because of how widespread it is. For example all this stuff about how you "have to get into an RG or it's a waste of £30000" TSR itself was promoting the other day; I'd be surprised if the RG even lasted another 10 years! Am certainly looking to be happy rather than become an education-robot in a place I don't much like

    Haha, I wouldn't have imagined that happened! Your own experiences are just a load of surprises to me, seems there's plenty more to give time once I'm out of here
    Yeah am much happier at my current uni. I'm not planning to go into academia afterwards, but people do move around all over the shop in order to get onto a postdoc! So yeah, moving around is fine.

    Yeah def don't become an education-robot :eek:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Yeah am much happier at my current uni. I'm not planning to go into academia afterwards, but people do move around all over the shop in order to get onto a postdoc! So yeah, moving around is fine.

    Yeah def don't become an education-robot :eek:
    Ah, my bad! What did you have in mind otherwise? Not to put pressure or anything, more because I thought the only thing you could do with a PhD was research, but again I know very little
 
 
 
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