My mum hit(s) me.

I'm 19 and in my first year of Higher Education, and my mum hit me because I told her I've been having trouble with gambling.

i feel so ashamed because i know i shouldn't have done but i couldn't control myself. I used 270 of my student finance and she got angry (even though i gave her 1000+ of my student finance). The rest I spent on travel, school supplies, work and school clothes and some outings.

I sought some help from friends and they gave me tips, and I managed to stop for a week, and it's still ongoing :smile:

but when I told my mum she punched me in the face.

I wasn't that surprised because she still hits me, but more surprised that she wasn't happy for me.

I just started crying because it's been so hard for me. Friends have left me, I've gained so much weight (which she makes fun of me for), I'm not the prettiest girl so I get made fun of a lot and get called a gorilla.

I just wish I had a mom that told me she loves me and encourages me. All I'm waiting for is to start my new job, make money and move out, but in the mean time, how do I deal with it?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Why are people saying "boo hoo" to someone punching another?
That's battery, which I'm pretty sure is illegal.

Reply 2

amberxc

First of all, congrats on getting your gambling under control! That's a huge thing and you seem to be happy and proud of that, as you should be. There are various types of parenting styles, but I tend to believe that there is no reason to hit your child, no matter how old they are - I'm sorry if that offends how you grew up or anything, but anything like that to me to utterly wrong and I am sorry you're in that situation.

You deserve a mum who accepts you and gives you her love, comfort and support no matter what mistake you make, tough love (in my opinion at least) shouldn't go to hitting or abusing anyone.

As for how to cope, it's a very personal thing. For me, talking to people helped - so if you do have someone you could reach out to, whether its someone else in your family or even a teacher, colleague - I'm not sure what environments you are in and who you trust. So don't keep quiet about it! But when I had problems (and I still do very often) I didn't have anyone to talk to so I turned to anonymous services so my name wouldn't be mentioned. I'm not sure if that is something that would comfort you or not, but some anonymous services I used were kooth.com, which is a free online counselling service (it takes some time for 1:1 counselling session replies, around a day or so, but the advice is always good, far better than I could give you here) and The Samaritans (they have a phone service, but if you like me suffer from anxiety or anything like that, you can write them an email and get everything out and they offer more advice and help by emailing back, which usually only takes a few hours, at most 10 hours in my experience with them).

If you're an artistic person, maybe make something to get all these emotions out, or with music, that was helpful for me. If not, you could just try to find something to distract you when you need - I tend to turn to this because I'm more of a creative person - but you could just find any hobby to give your head some breathing space whenever you need. Maybe even join a club or society in university if you have the time, there's tonne of free ones where you could meet new friends if yours aren't being good ones.

You can always message me if you want, I hope this helps you. I'm sorry this happened to you :frown:

but I hope this helps you in some way and I hope things perk up for you soon. x

Reply 3

Dysf(x)al

Original post by Dynasty21

So wait a minute... you GAVE YOUR MOTHER MONEY out of YOUR OWN student finance and she still hits you? Definitely sounds abusive. If you can talk to a member of staff at uni (or indeed anyone you trust such as a counsellor), do so. Your mother probably wants to be in control of you. You're 19, so that's not on any more. If you choose to gamble, that's nothing to do with her. Neither is your weight. Unless your mum can accept that you are now independent, moving out is probably the only option.

Reply 4

username2393237

Ignore the trolls. Your mum is emotionally and physically abusing you; her reaction was totally OTT and clearly she either has mental issues or she has her own insecurities and is bullying you to make herself feel better. None of this is your fault. In your place, I would write her a letter or a text detailing how she makes you feel. Tell her that you will go straight to the police if she lays one more finger on you. If you don't feel able to do that, then talk to someone else about it. Is your dad in the picture or could you stay with a relative? Does anyone else know what she's like?

Concentrate on being a good student so that you can earn enough money to get the hell out of there. Get involved in clubs etc and channel your energy into more positive activites. I was beginning to comfort eat, so I started to do more walking and I feel much better. The food and the gambling are just symptoms and your mum is probably largely the cause. You don't deserve to feel like crap and you can make positive changes. I hope things improve for you.

Reply 5

Lorianna

Oh, sweetie, I sooo much feel for you!! Please, don't get too down!! As someone said before, congratulations on getting your gambling under control! That is such an important and huge step and I am very proud of you!!! Your mom doesn't seem to be very supportive and it is very good you write your feelings in here. Don't feel alone, share your feelings and get some support at least in here) I know what you feel, my mom was beating me up from time to time when I was 15(( I entered college and moved to my grandma, that helped.. Sometimes our parent behave very emotional and probably we will never understand them(( Just don't let this situation go under you! You are stronger than this!

My mum hit(s) me.

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