Etiquette on attending a funeral mass / cremation? Watch

oldboy2007
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#1
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I would like to pay my respects to someone I once know who has recently died. Well, it's one of my former teachers from school (I've left a while). So it's kinda a public funeral cos lots of people.

1) do you / are you allowed to bring flowers to a funeral mass in a church?

2) do you have to attend both the mass and the cremation? Would it be rude to just attend the cremation?
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threeportdrift
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(Original post by oldboy2007)
I would like to pay my respects to someone I once know who has recently died. Well, it's one of my former teachers from school (I've left a while). So it's kinda a public funeral cos lots of people.

1) do you / are you allowed to bring flowers to a funeral mass in a church?

2) do you have to attend both the mass and the cremation? Would it be rude to just attend the cremation?
Normally, unless you are family or very close (which your description would not be) you wouldn't bring flowers. Usually the mass/service is for the larger group and the cremation is reserved for close family and friends. So no flowers, dark clothing, and quiet attendance at mass/service would be the usual form (in the UK). Has there been any sort of invitation circulated, or notice in the paper indicating anything else?
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bones-mccoy
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A lot of families prefer guests to donate to a specific charity rather than spend money on flowers. Understandable as flowers just die anyway and the money could help a good cause instead.
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Sammylou40
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The above posts are correct. Take cash for a donation not flowers.
As a general rule, if there is a mass/service you should go to that rather than the crematorium or a grave site. Leave those for the family/close friends to say their goodbyes
If there was just a service at the crem, then you’d go obviously.
If it’s going to be a large funeral, there may be an announcement in the local paper giving any specific details that are “out of the ordinary “ such as clothing arrangements
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