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    Hiya I am have been at my university now for 3 weeks and I am living in catered accommodation. My flat consists of 19 people and I don't get along with anyone. During freshers I joined them for a few events and nights out but always during the pre drinks no one really talked. Since freshers I have not been on nights out with my flatmates as they seem to go out every night and I prefer to relax go to the pub ect. I feel like I am soo different from everyone and plus I feel everyone is so close already that I am finding it difficult to get along with them. I have had many nights Sat in my room alone and no one has bothered coming to knock on my door or ask if I'm OK, (have tried knocking on theres by the waybit we just have small talk, nothing else) so I am feeling increasingly lonely. I have made friends from my course and have joined societys but the all live in city centre accommodation so it can be sometimes hard to meet up.
    I'm not saying I don't like my flatmates but I feel like I'm an outsider, different and as I'm a naturally quiet and shy I feel like I'm the boring person in the flat. They have invited me to some things this week but because I have been ill I have not been physically up to going out to dinner ect with them plus I am scared that, like what happened whenever I have done things with them, no one will talk to me. Not having any friends in catered accommodation is soo difficult as everyone already has their groups round the dinner hall and is causing me real anxiety. Not getting on with my flatmates is lowering my self esteem and confidence.

    Have gotten to the point of I don't know what to do and I am already hating feeling soo alone and isolated. Any advice would be appreciated
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    (Original post by Kitkatkatiexx1)
    Hiya I am have been at my university now for 3 weeks and I am living in catered accommodation. My flat consists of 19 people and I don't get along with anyone. During freshers I joined them for a few events and nights out but always during the pre drinks no one really talked. Since freshers I have not been on nights out with my flatmates as they seem to go out every night and I prefer to relax go to the pub ect. I feel like I am soo different from everyone and plus I feel everyone is so close already that I am finding it difficult to get along with them. I have had many nights Sat in my room alone and no one has bothered coming to knock on my door or ask if I'm OK, (have tried knocking on theres by the waybit we just have small talk, nothing else) so I am feeling increasingly lonely. I have made friends from my course and have joined societys but the all live in city centre accommodation so it can be sometimes hard to meet up.
    I'm not saying I don't like my flatmates but I feel like I'm an outsider, different and as I'm a naturally quiet and shy I feel like I'm the boring person in the flat. They have invited me to some things this week but because I have been ill I have not been physically up to going out to dinner ect with them plus I am scared that, like what happened whenever I have done things with them, no one will talk to me. Not having any friends in catered accommodation is soo difficult as everyone already has their groups round the dinner hall and is causing me real anxiety. Not getting on with my flatmates is lowering my self esteem and confidence.

    Have gotten to the point of I don't know what to do and I am already hating feeling soo alone and isolated. Any advice would be appreciated
    It kinda sucks when you're stuck with the wrong kind of people. There's a partygoer in my flat and they are basically drinking most of the time smoking, already skipping lectures and being loud at night although it has been stated as a rule in this accommodation to be quiet in the hours of 11pm and 6am in the morning. but hey some people don't follow.

    I guess it kinda boils down to you got stuck with the wrong people :/

    I don't really have much advice since i'm kinda like the one who just stays in his dorm all day, does work, cooks food and pretty much is "anti social" i don't really do much besides potato around but i mean don't force it, remember if you have to make an effort to be around them it ain't worth being around them right? It's better to wait and get some decent friends.
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    Thank you that has really helped! It is so strange how at uni you are expected to get along with a bunch of strangers let alone live with them. I think that I may carry on trying to get along with them but I am glad that I have made other friends and will make more friends as the goes along. It's just difficult and lonely and as a naturally anxious, Quiet period who overthinks everything I need to just stay positive and be me!
    I'm. Hoping in a few months I will feel better Nd a nice group of friends xx
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    There is value in just trying to make an effort with them even if you won't speak again after this year. So make it clear you want to come to dinner next time and go on a few nights out so you're not isolating yourself. When you go out yo might have to 'force' your way into conversations etc since they know each other better they probably have things to talk about more but that doesn't mean you can't engage someone in conversation.

    Also try and remember the positives, you only have til the summer and you HAVE friends just not in your flat so next year you can live togeter/closer.
 
 
 
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