Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Why am I nervous around my girlfriend? Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    The thing is I really like her and she likes me but we both feel I was awkward around her as she was doing most of the talking. We met yesterday for the first time in 5 years (she was in my primary school) so her feelings are relatively new. As I was so awkward she was trying to make jokes with me saying "I don't like you anymore" and "You're so annoying" but I took those to heart thinking, "What have I done already?". I told her about this after the date as it kinda hurt because I didn't expect her to say that, even as a joke. She said she's sorry but I think that might have fuelled my nervousness. She wants me to become more confident but I'm not sure how to, as I'm a better listener than speaker. I don't want her to lose interest but I know it'll be a challenge to tackle my awkwardness so if it works out we'll both be happy.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    6
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ar.jpeg)
    The thing is I really like her and she likes me but we both feel I was awkward around her as she was doing most of the talking. We met yesterday for the first time in 5 years (she was in my primary school) so her feelings are relatively new. As I was so awkward she was trying to make jokes with me saying "I don't like you anymore" and "You're so annoying" but I took those to heart thinking, "What have I done already?". I told her about this after the date as it kinda hurt because I didn't expect her to say that, even as a joke. She said she's sorry but I think that might have fuelled my nervousness. She wants me to become more confident but I'm not sure how to, as I'm a better listener than speaker. I don't want her to lose interest but I know it'll be a challenge to tackle my awkwardness so if it works out we'll both be happy.
    I defo went through the same sort of thing in high school. My advice is to realised that if she wants to be with you, she will. If she doesn't then she won't - and she's not right for you brother.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    What was your experience bro, did you manage to amend it with the girl or not?
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    • #1
    #1

    I think that she really likes you but because of your nervousness she struggles to have a conversation with you. She used those jokes to try and get you to
    open up a bit more and relax but i assume it had the oposite effect. She is probably finding it hard because she may feel like you don't like her as you are not obvious with your feelings. She wants to be able to have a conversation with you and get to know you more but is finding that difficult.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ar.jpeg)
    The thing is I really like her and she likes me but we both feel I was awkward around her as she was doing most of the talking. We met yesterday for the first time in 5 years (she was in my primary school) so her feelings are relatively new. As I was so awkward she was trying to make jokes with me saying "I don't like you anymore" and "You're so annoying" but I took those to heart thinking, "What have I done already?". I told her about this after the date as it kinda hurt because I didn't expect her to say that, even as a joke. She said she's sorry but I think that might have fuelled my nervousness. She wants me to become more confident but I'm not sure how to, as I'm a better listener than speaker. I don't want her to lose interest but I know it'll be a challenge to tackle my awkwardness so if it works out we'll both be happy.
    Don't take them to heart. If my girlfriend annoys me I tell her I f**king hate her and she just laughs because she knows I don't mean it - just say or do something back to keep the conversation rolling.

    You don't have to be a speaker to be confident. Confidence is a weird thing, in that those who have it can't explain it and those who don't simply don't get it. The best way I can think to describe how to be a bit 'more confident' is

    (a) control only what you can control. When you start thinking stuff like 'is she in a mood because of work', 'is that joke too far', 'can I say that' etc it makes you nervous around them and you end up saying nothing. you have to sort of look at it backwards like 'do I think that's a good/funny/interesting thing to say?' If the answer is yes then say it. I bore the arse off my gf talking about my car because it interests me and she puts up with it because I'm talking to her. I'm not saying be a total jerk and randomly call her fat or whatever, just that if you think it's something you can say then just say it. You can't control the world, ever, so stop trying.

    (b) If she likes leading conversations, don't take it to heart if she says stuff that demeans or belittles you. It's only messing around, and it makes you look a lot more confident to join in however you want to. You'll know if she's being serious

    The most basic way I can sum it up is the 'worst they can say is no'. If you want to be successful with this kind of thing the best way to do it is to tell people what you want, to be someone who is confident enough to act on their wishes. This isn't entirely applicable but the general notes are right https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNJgk0eC3RM
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 8, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.