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Can a bisexual person call themselves gay? watch

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    • #1
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    #1

    I'm gay myself, and it really bothers me when someone I know describes themselves as gay but they are really bisexual. It doesn't seem to bother any of my friends.

    I can't be the only one out there
    • #2
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    Yes as Gay can be seen as an umbrella term which bisexual comes under
    • #1
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes as Gay can be seen as an umbrella term which bisexual comes under
    I just don't see how its an umbrella term. Its an identity in its own right. A bisexual would never call themselves straight, so why should they be able to say they are gay?
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    A person can label themselves as whatever they want, without the judgement of others. Isn't that what the fight is for anyways?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm gay myself, and it really bothers me when someone I know describes themselves as gay but they are really bisexual. It doesn't seem to bother any of my friends.

    I can't be the only one out there
    I'm gay and it doesn't bother me at all. Some bi people are mostly attracted to the same sex and only slightly to the opposite sex, some are equally attracted to both, whatever. For example my friend is bi but she is attracted to femininity (in both men and women).

    Honestly I think it's sometimes just easier for bi people to say they're gay sometimes than to have to go through the constant explaining of what bisexuality is, the arguments about whether it's real, and being asked to have threesomes constantly, I really can't blame them.

    Tl;dr - Certified Gay™ here, y'all can all call yourselves whatever tf you want.
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    (Original post by LRxS)
    I'm gay and it doesn't bother me at all. Some bi people are mostly attracted to the same sex and only slightly to the opposite sex, some are equally attracted to both, whatever. For example my friend is bi but she is attracted to femininity (in both men and women).

    Honestly I think it's sometimes just easier for bi people to say they're gay sometimes than to have to go through the constant explaining of what bisexuality is, the arguments about whether it's real, and being asked to have threesomes constantly, I really can't blame them.

    Tl;dr - Certified Gay™ here, y'all can all call yourselves whatever tf you want.
    Is there really anyone who doesn't know what bisexuality is? idk about you but it really grinds my gears when someone asks me if I really am gay or just saying that because im really bisexual because of all these bisexuals claiming they are gay
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Is there really anyone who doesn't know what bisexuality is? idk about you but it really grinds my gears when someone asks me if I really am gay or just saying that because im really bisexual because of all these bisexuals claiming they are gay
    Honestly get over it... bi erasure is a hugely problematic thing. You can always say "no I'm totally gay" and it's sorted there. People who ask you aren't asking because they've met 400 "gay bisexuals", they're asking to clarify. People can label themselves however they want; you thinking it's problematic doesn't take away their right to express themselves freely.
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    To be honest, the only time it bothers me when someone uses a label is when they are obviously doing it to be cool, trendy or unique.

    I call myself gay. I have vague attractions to guys, so technically I am bi, but I feel like if I'm not going to be dating guys or loudly obsessing over them, then it won't really make a difference. If I'm not into 99.9% of guys I meet, it's easier to tell them I'm gay if they wonder why I'm not interested.

    Sexuality is fluid anyway.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm gay myself, and it really bothers me when someone I know describes themselves as gay but they are really bisexual. It doesn't seem to bother any of my friends.

    I can't be the only one out there
    You are not the only one! I am a lesbian, and it bothers me as well when the bisexuals do that; I see it as false advertising and a bit disrespectful when they call themselves gay, and, also, even when they mislabel as straight.
    I know the bis get flak from both sides, but that doesn't mean they can take the easy, convenient way out and present themselves as something else.
    If you're attracted to one sex, the same sex as yourself, you're gay; if you're attracted to more sexes than that, you aren't gay.
    The bis need to get their act together.
    • #3
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    People treating it as an umbrella term is the problem now. No one 'doesn't know' what bisexuality is. You don't need an umbrella term, especially not grabbing an umbrella term from an already established group of minorities. I'm completely ok when bi people are joking around calling themselves gay, or say how gay they are when in regards to same sex attraction but when they go around telling people they're gay, fully identifying as gay, but getting with the opposite sex that's when it annoys me. (of course bi people with limited attraction to opposite sex, or who don't want to date opposite sex i think are fine using it)
    At the end of the day if you're a gay person and it doesn't bother you then good for you, but it's harmful to our community and you cant just pretend it isn't. We try damn hard to make sure we're respected and, especially with Lesbians, seen as just gay and not 'one **** away from wanting to date men' or something. (I mean from what I've seen Bi men tend to just be seen as Gay anyway so I can really only say this from a lesbian view)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    People treating it as an umbrella term is the problem now. No one 'doesn't know' what bisexuality is. You don't need an umbrella term, especially not grabbing an umbrella term from an already established group of minorities. I'm completely ok when bi people are joking around calling themselves gay, or say how gay they are when in regards to same sex attraction but when they go around telling people they're gay, fully identifying as gay, but getting with the opposite sex that's when it annoys me. (of course bi people with limited attraction to opposite sex, or who don't want to date opposite sex i think are fine using it)
    At the end of the day if you're a gay person and it doesn't bother you then good for you, but it's harmful to our community and you cant just pretend it isn't. We try damn hard to make sure we're respected and, especially with Lesbians, seen as just gay and not 'one **** away from wanting to date men' or something. (I mean from what I've seen Bi men tend to just be seen as Gay anyway so I can really only say this from a lesbian view)
    Lol so many supposedly 'gay' women having regular sex with guys lmao - I even know of one who cheated on their girlfriend for a guy. That kinda **** must piss you off tho
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    As an actual bisexual, I have called myself (and identified as) gay. When I call myself gay, I'm referring to the umbrella term. We have gay marriage, gay rights and the gay community, all referring to the entire LGBT community. If gay is the umbrella term, why can I not refer to myself as such?

    I'm not straighter than anyone else in the LGBT community. I'm not straight. I'm never going to be.

    And I do call myself gay when I really can't be bothered dealing with people either offering threesomes or making biphobic comments and invasive questions about my sex life and history.
    That got old pretty quickly.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    • #3
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    (Original post by katf)
    As an actual bisexual, I have called myself (and identified as) gay. When I call myself gay, I'm referring to the umbrella term. We have gay marriage, gay rights and the gay community, all referring to the entire LGBT community. If gay is the umbrella term, why can I not refer to myself as such?

    I'm not straighter than anyone else in the LGBT community. I'm not straight. I'm never going to be.

    And I do call myself gay when I really can't be bothered dealing with people either offering threesomes or making biphobic comments and invasive questions about my sex life and history.
    That got old pretty quickly.
    Because Gay isn't an umbrella term. 'Gay' marriage shouldn't be called 'Gay' marriage. It's just marriage. In the context it's in however 'Gay' marriage means two same sex people getting married. Not two gay people getting married. (still it's a thing that needs to stop being a thing)
    The gay community would be a community of gay people. LGBT community/queer community (though I hate that word) would be the wider community. The fact is that Gay is not an umbrella term it's an actual identity that too many people are taking away. Especially for the sake of appearing super woke.
    If you want to use it to avoid Biphobia, by all means thats fine but it wont always stop things like invasive questions about sex lives or threesomes (like come on Lesbians always get asked for that sort of thing) And it also works to just enable stereotypes like :
    All Bi men are actually gay
    All gay women are actually Bi
    • #3
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    (Original post by ParkHyungSuk)
    Lol so many supposedly 'gay' women having regular sex with guys lmao - I even know of one who cheated on their girlfriend for a guy. That kinda **** must piss you off tho
    I'm not gunna say it doesn't. It just reflects poorly on actual lesbians/gay women.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Because Gay isn't an umbrella term. 'Gay' marriage shouldn't be called 'Gay' marriage. It's just marriage. In the context it's in however 'Gay' marriage means two same sex people getting married. Not two gay people getting married. (still it's a thing that needs to stop being a thing)
    The gay community would be a community of gay people. LGBT community/queer community (though I hate that word) would be the wider community. The fact is that Gay is not an umbrella term it's an actual identity that too many people are taking away. Especially for the sake of appearing super woke.
    If you want to use it to avoid Biphobia, by all means thats fine but it wont always stop things like invasive questions about sex lives or threesomes (like come on Lesbians always get asked for that sort of thing) And it also works to just enable stereotypes like :
    All Bi men are actually gay
    All gay women are actually Bi
    You're plain dumb and bi people calling themselves gay is less of a problem to the GAY community than you associating yourself with it.
    I don't know what's the problem with people identifying the way they feel most comfortable with.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Because Gay isn't an umbrella term. 'Gay' marriage shouldn't be called 'Gay' marriage. It's just marriage. In the context it's in however 'Gay' marriage means two same sex people getting married. Not two gay people getting married. (still it's a thing that needs to stop being a thing)
    The gay community would be a community of gay people. LGBT community/queer community (though I hate that word) would be the wider community. The fact is that Gay is not an umbrella term it's an actual identity that too many people are taking away. Especially for the sake of appearing super woke.
    If you want to use it to avoid Biphobia, by all means thats fine but it wont always stop things like invasive questions about sex lives or threesomes (like come on Lesbians always get asked for that sort of thing) And it also works to just enable stereotypes like :
    All Bi men are actually gay
    All gay women are actually Bi
    I used to identify as a lesbian. Gay is continuously used as an umbrella term. I've been in relationships with other women. I had far less invasive questioning then than I do if I say I'm bi. It's exhausting.
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    • #3
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    (Original post by katf)
    I used to identify as a lesbian. Gay is continuously used as an umbrella term. I've been in relationships with other women. I had far less invasive questioning then than I do if I say I'm bi. It's exhausting.
    Just because it's used as an umbrella term that doesn't mean it should be. I used to identify as bi, I know what it's like. I would never have used gay back when I thought I was bi (unless I was joking around) because I always wanted to respect other communities and not just erase them.
    Taking away words from communities then treating them like they're the bad guys when all they want is for you to maybe not use their identity isn't a nice thing to do. (I'm not saying that this is what you specifically are doing, I've just seen wayyyy too much of it and it's tiring)
    But again, if you're using it as more of a way to get people to leave you alone that's a bit different than directly and constantly identifying as gay just to say you're gay when you're not.
    • #1
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    (Original post by katf)
    As an actual bisexual, I have called myself (and identified as) gay. When I call myself gay, I'm referring to the umbrella term. We have gay marriage, gay rights and the gay community, all referring to the entire LGBT community. If gay is the umbrella term, why can I not refer to myself as such?

    I'm not straighter than anyone else in the LGBT community. I'm not straight. I'm never going to be.

    And I do call myself gay when I really can't be bothered dealing with people either offering threesomes or making biphobic comments and invasive questions about my sex life and history.
    That got old pretty quickly.
    I just don’t get how the heck you can claim you’re “no straighter than anyone else in the LGBT community” when you’re attracted to both males and females. In your train of thinking, you say that anyone attracted to the same sex can call themselves gay, so reversely anyone attracted to the opposite sex can call themselves straight. If you’re attracted to both sexes, you can call yourself straight as much as you can call yourself gay. But the point is is that you’re not either of these, bisexual is an identity in its own right.

    So don’t even try to say you can call yourself gay when you aren’t mostly or only attracted to the same sex, that’s not how the identity works.
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    Gay can be an umbrella term.

    Bisexual is more detailed. However, they might not fancy answering 1001 questions about which they like best and might they change in the future, etc., etc., etc. Might be easier to say gay.
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    As a bi person, no, i don't call myself gay. Being gay is its own identity, I use queer as the umbrella erm for LGBT+ people.
 
 
 
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