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Gay Muslim- Please Help, only advice from Muslims in UK/ London. Watch

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    Hi everyone,

    I didn't know this was going to happen, but I have fallen so deeply in love with my best friend, as has he. We are both Muslims, practising, and love Islam. But obviously, we don't know what to do anymore...

    I lives are tearing a part thinking we can't be together but maybe there is hope for the future. We are quite normal lads, so if it ever came out, it would be a shock to everyone.

    The people that reply, please be from a muslim background, I would like help and understanding. Will it get better if I come out to my family? At least I wouldn't then marry a girl and make her life bad since I want to be with a guy?

    How is it being an out gay muslim? How does the community help? Besides the sex sides of things, it's more of an extremely strong emotional connection I have with my bestfriend, I just want people who was in my boat to please help...

    I am an asian muslim boy, average family guy, I just have been dying inside lately because my future seems terrible without him. I can't even being to describe how we are meant for each other, but there's so much up to be lost...

    Guys, no rude messages please, only here to gain help from those with experience.

    I'm literally begging for someone with a similar background, to help, i feel like this world has crushed me. It's the worst feeling ever to know my time is running out with him.

    I was into girls, but he came along and changed everything up. I am a good muslim and I reckon we would be together, but obviously it's what the community has to say.

    Thank you so much if you're willing to help me, I really need it.

    Yours,

    muslimtsr x
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by muslimtsr)
    Hi everyone,

    I didn't know this was going to happen, but I have fallen so deeply in love with my best friend, as has he. We are both Muslims, practising, and love Islam. But obviously, we don't know what to do anymore...

    I lives are tearing a part thinking we can't be together but maybe there is hope for the future. We are quite normal lads, so if it ever came out, it would be a shock to everyone.

    The people that reply, please be from a muslim background, I would like help and understanding. Will it get better if I come out to my family? At least I wouldn't then marry a girl and make her life bad since I want to be with a guy?

    How is it being an out gay muslim? How does the community help? Besides the sex sides of things, it's more of an extremely strong emotional connection I have with my bestfriend, I just want people who was in my boat to please help...

    I am an asian muslim boy, average family guy, I just have been dying inside lately because my future seems terrible without him. I can't even being to describe how we are meant for each other, but there's so much up to be lost...

    Guys, no rude messages please, only here to gain help from those with experience.

    I'm literally begging for someone with a similar background, to help, i feel like this world has crushed me. It's the worst feeling ever to know my time is running out with him.

    I was into girls, but he came along and changed everything up. I am a good muslim and I reckon we would be together, but obviously it's what the community has to say.

    Thank you so much if you're willing to help me, I really need it.

    Yours,

    muslimtsr x
    Hi. It seems like you really love this guy. You can't ignore the fact that you love him that will just lead to more problems. I think before you do anything you need to acknowledge that it isn't your fault or his fault and certainly isn't something to be ashamed of as a Muslim. We don't choose who we fall in love with it just happens. This is just my opinion but I don't think Allah will be angry or against it. You say you are a muslim and as long as you are firm in your beliefs, love Allah and do every basic thing a muslim should do there is no problem. Being a muslim is about submission to Allah not about your sexuality. At the end of the day it's just you and your lord. You should do what makes you happy. Just because you're gay it doesn't mean you can't stay a Muslim. God is kind and loving to everybody and he knows how much you're suffering and the pain you're feeling right now. He is indeed understanding.
    But because you're asian I don't know what to expect from your family if you come out. I'm asian too. It's not really you going 'against' religion your family will care about. It will be about what society will think and fear of your family's name being tarnished or insulted. I don't know how to put this in english because it's just not the same. Basically your family might be worried about 'izat' If you know what I mean. It means respect in English but when you say it in urdu it's a whole other meaning. My advice is to just come out to your family whether they are very cultural or not that cultural. In asian culture marriage is quite a big thing so they might feel angry at first or sad but what's the worst that can happen. You're already gay so not telling them won't make you any less gay. You can't delay the inevitable. Your family love you and eventually they'll understand. Just make them understand that the word 'izat' is nothing. Literally it's nothing. Like who the hell cares what other people think about you and your family. The only thing they should care about is your and their happiness and If this is what makes you happy then so be it.
    This is pretty long but you get the memo. I've been in a similar situation. But with a different thing. Just do it. Come out to your parents. As I said before you can't delay the inevitable.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi. It seems like you really love this guy. You can't ignore the fact that you love him that will just lead to more problems. I think before you do anything you need to acknowledge that it isn't your fault or his fault and certainly isn't something to be ashamed of as a Muslim. We don't choose who we fall in love with it just happens. This is just my opinion but I don't think Allah will be angry or against it. You say you are a muslim and as long as you are firm in your beliefs, love Allah and do every basic thing a muslim should do there is no problem. Being a muslim is about submission to Allah not about your sexuality. At the end of the day it's just you and your lord. You should do what makes you happy. Just because you're gay it doesn't mean you can't stay a Muslim. God is kind and loving to everybody and he knows how much you're suffering and the pain you're feeling right now. He is indeed understanding.
    But because you're asian I don't know what to expect from your family if you come out. I'm asian too. It's not really you going 'against' religion your family will care about. It will be about what society will think and fear of your family's name being tarnished or insulted. I don't know how to put this in english because it's just not the same. Basically your family might be worried about 'izat' If you know what I mean. It means respect in English but when you say it in urdu it's a whole other meaning. My advice is to just come out to your family whether they are very cultural or not that cultural. In asian culture marriage is quite a big thing so they might feel angry at first or sad but what's the worst that can happen. You're already gay so not telling them won't make you any less gay. You can't delay the inevitable. Your family love you and eventually they'll understand. Just make them understand that the word 'izat' is nothing. Literally it's nothing. Like who the hell cares what other people think about you and your family. The only thing they should care about is your and their happiness and If this is what makes you happy then so be it.
    This is pretty long but you get the memo. I've been in a similar situation. But with a different thing. Just do it. Come out to your parents. As I said before you can't delay the inevitable.
    Sorry I didn't mean to make myself anonymas lol. but oh well
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    ...[QUOTE=Anonymous;74053828]Hi. It seems like you really love this guy. You can't ignore the fact that you love him that will just lead to more problems. I think before you do anything you need to acknowledge that it isn't your fault or his fault and certainly isn't something to be ashamed of as a Muslim. We don't choose who we fall in love with it just happens. This is just my opinion but I don't think Allah will be angry or against it. You say you are a muslim and as long as you are firm in your beliefs, love Allah and do every basic thing a muslim should do there is no problem. Being a muslim is about submission to Allah not about your sexuality. At the end of the day it's just you and your lord. You should do what makes you happy. Just because you're gay it doesn't mean you can't stay a Muslim. God is kind and loving to everybody and he knows how much you're suffering and the pain you're feeling right now. He is indeed understanding.
    But because you're asian I don't know what to expect from your family if you come out. I'm asian too. It's not really you going 'against' religion your family will care about. It will be about what society will think and fear of your family's name being tarnished or insulted. I don't know how to put this in english because it's just not the same. Basically your family might be worried about 'izat' If you know what I mean. It means respect in English but when you say it in urdu it's a whole other meaning. My advice is to just come out to your family whether they are very cultural or not that cultural. In asian culture marriage is quite a big thing so they might feel angry at first or sad but what's the worst that can happen. You're already gay so not telling them won't make you any less gay. You can't delay the inevitable. Your family love you and eventually they'll understand. Just make them understand that the word 'izat' is nothing. Literally it's nothing. Like who the hell cares what other people think about you and your family. The only thing they should care about is your and their happiness and If this is what makes you happy then so be it.
    This is pretty long but you get the memo. I've been in a similar situation. But with a different thing. Just do it. Come out to your parents. As I said before you can't delay the inevitable.[/QUOthTE]

    ahh your post was good thank you, but towards the end it sounded to pressured, sorry... please could you explain to me your story and experience by inbox?
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    I'm bisexual and my parents are really strict Muslims. I haven't come out to them yet because I know they'd make my life hell but I will tell them as soon as I don't live with them.

    A way to find out your parents views on gay people could be watching something on TV about LGBT community and asking them their opinion. That's what I did and how I realized they would kill me if I told them I liked girls and guys.

    There's nothing wrong with being gay; you can't help who you fall for and that doesn't make you any less deserving of love and going to heaven. I think you need to take some time off and accept yourself. Good luck!!
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    (Original post by muslimtsr)
    Hi everyone,

    I didn't know this was going to happen, but I have fallen so deeply in love with my best friend, as has he. We are both Muslims, practising, and love Islam. But obviously, we don't know what to do anymore...

    I lives are tearing a part thinking we can't be together but maybe there is hope for the future. We are quite normal lads, so if it ever came out, it would be a shock to everyone.

    The people that reply, please be from a muslim background, I would like help and understanding. Will it get better if I come out to my family? At least I wouldn't then marry a girl and make her life bad since I want to be with a guy?

    How is it being an out gay muslim? How does the community help? Besides the sex sides of things, it's more of an extremely strong emotional connection I have with my bestfriend, I just want people who was in my boat to please help...

    I am an asian muslim boy, average family guy, I just have been dying inside lately because my future seems terrible without him. I can't even being to describe how we are meant for each other, but there's so much up to be lost...

    Guys, no rude messages please, only here to gain help from those with experience.

    I'm literally begging for someone with a similar background, to help, i feel like this world has crushed me. It's the worst feeling ever to know my time is running out with him.

    I was into girls, but he came along and changed everything up. I am a good muslim and I reckon we would be together, but obviously it's what the community has to say.

    Thank you so much if you're willing to help me, I really need it.

    Yours,

    muslimtsr x
    I don't know if you're trolling as your account was made in October, but at the end of the day, who cares. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    So... Being Gay is Haraam.

    (btw you should've posted this in ISOC.)

    Big up it's a Sin, and as it stands i'll never tell a brother to commit a sin, especially if the sin was mentioned in the Qur'an. So marry yourself off to a woman (i.e. village girl). Allah knows the amount of pain and suffering we go through trying to avoid sins and he'll award us immensely for avoiding these Sins in the afterlife. So big up, get married to a woman and try to get rid of these haraam urges by doing your woman. Simple as.
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    (Original post by Jang Gwangnam)
    I don't know if you're trolling as your account was made in October, but at the end of the day, who cares. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    So... Being Gay is Haraam.

    (btw you should've posted this in ISOC.)

    Big up it's a Sin, and as it stands i'll never tell a brother to commit a sin, especially if the sin was mentioned in the Qur'an. So marry yourself off to a woman (i.e. village girl). Allah knows the amount of pain and suffering we go through trying to avoid sins and he'll award us immensely for avoiding these Sins in the afterlife. So big up, get married to a woman and try to get rid of these haraam urges by doing your woman. Simple as.
    but tbh that wouldn't really be fair on the woman. Yes he might like her as a friend but he won't really love her. That woman has feelings to you know. If he were to marry a woman the woman would have a right to know. Also although it is a 'sin', marrying a woman won't make him any less gay. He loves guys and is attracted to guys in his heart so he'll always be gay. At the end of the day, like I said, it's just him and his lord on the day of judgement and Allah is understanding.
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    (Original post by muslimtsr)
    Hi everyone,

    I didn't know this was going to happen, but I have fallen so deeply in love with my best friend, as has he. We are both Muslims, practising, and love Islam. But obviously, we don't know what to do anymore...

    I lives are tearing a part thinking we can't be together but maybe there is hope for the future. We are quite normal lads, so if it ever came out, it would be a shock to everyone.

    The people that reply, please be from a muslim background, I would like help and understanding. Will it get better if I come out to my family? At least I wouldn't then marry a girl and make her life bad since I want to be with a guy?

    How is it being an out gay muslim? How does the community help? Besides the sex sides of things, it's more of an extremely strong emotional connection I have with my bestfriend, I just want people who was in my boat to please help...

    I am an asian muslim boy, average family guy, I just have been dying inside lately because my future seems terrible without him. I can't even being to describe how we are meant for each other, but there's so much up to be lost...

    Guys, no rude messages please, only here to gain help from those with experience.

    I'm literally begging for someone with a similar background, to help, i feel like this world has crushed me. It's the worst feeling ever to know my time is running out with him.

    I was into girls, but he came along and changed everything up. I am a good muslim and I reckon we would be together, but obviously it's what the community has to say.

    Thank you so much if you're willing to help me, I really need it.

    Yours,

    muslimtsr x
    pm me I really wanna talk to you about this
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    • #2
    #2

    Eugh.. You have one real choice..

    Practice Celibacy ..
    • #3
    #3

    According to Islam, homosexuality is forbidden. So whatever you do next is up to you just keep that in mind if you claim to be a practicing Muslim who loves the religion.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
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    (Original post by muslimtsr)
    Hi everyone,

    I didn't know this was going to happen, but I have fallen so deeply in love with my best friend, as has he. We are both Muslims, practising, and love Islam. But obviously, we don't know what to do anymore...

    I lives are tearing a part thinking we can't be together but maybe there is hope for the future. We are quite normal lads, so if it ever came out, it would be a shock to everyone.

    The people that reply, please be from a muslim background, I would like help and understanding. Will it get better if I come out to my family? At least I wouldn't then marry a girl and make her life bad since I want to be with a guy?

    How is it being an out gay muslim? How does the community help? Besides the sex sides of things, it's more of an extremely strong emotional connection I have with my bestfriend, I just want people who was in my boat to please help...

    I am an asian muslim boy, average family guy, I just have been dying inside lately because my future seems terrible without him. I can't even being to describe how we are meant for each other, but there's so much up to be lost...

    Guys, no rude messages please, only here to gain help from those with experience.

    I'm literally begging for someone with a similar background, to help, i feel like this world has crushed me. It's the worst feeling ever to know my time is running out with him.

    I was into girls, but he came along and changed everything up. I am a good muslim and I reckon we would be together, but obviously it's what the community has to say.

    Thank you so much if you're willing to help me, I really need it.

    Yours,

    muslimtsr x
    I hope you are not a troll.

    I don't want to start a war on here but I don't think that you can be a homosexual and a muslim.

    Homosexuality is a serious sin in Islam and you cannot believe in the tenets of the religion plus the teachings of the Holy Book (Quran) and be a homosexual at the same time.

    It sounds harsh and I may receive some stick for writing the above, but it is the truth. People should not argue that you can be gay and be a muslim when they seriously contradict each other.

    My sincere advice to you is to gently leave Islam and be free to live your life the way you wish. Be with who you love and be happy. However, please don't be a hypocrite by remaining in the religion and committing serious sins. If you do, you may become a victim.

    I recognise that your Asian culture adds to the strictness of the Islam community, but i would suggest that you gently and respectfully leave Islam. Then be with whom you want to be with.

    Everyone deserves happiness and so should you, mate.

    All the best.
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    One word of advice: DON'T FLIPPIN TELL ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY (or anybody Muslim/untrustworthy) UNTIL YOU HAVE A BACKUP INCASE YOU GET DISOWNED OR KICKED OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!!
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    (Original post by JDieMstr)
    One word of advice: DON'T FLIPPIN TELL ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY (or anybody Muslim/untrustworthy) UNTIL YOU HAVE A BACKUP INCASE YOU GET DISOWNED OR KICKED OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!!
    Definitely.

    You can be Muslim and gay. Allah created you like this. Allah made you gay. It's a test and you're meant to combat it by suppressing your sexuality. No sexual acts with a man.

    Okay so that's the view I used to hold when I was a practising Muslim. I believed I was bisexual and wanted to be with my best friend too but knew I couldn't ever be with a female because of family. Now I believe LGBT people can be straight and have been socialised into being LGBT. That happened to me. I was alone and loved my best friend a lot so mistook it for romantic attraction. I get that my experiences don't speak for everyone but that's just my belief now. I think if you identify as gay then go ahead, just that it's this sex oriented society that has created it. Then again I do barely know what sexual attraction is, so what can I say.

    I wouldn't tell your parents. Hide it. Maybe tell them when you've moved out but not till then. You do not want to risk all the problems that can come with telling them.

    Do not feel guilty for being gay. Allah made you like this. It was meant to be. I know this even as someone who thinks homosexuality is not an actual thing that happens without influence. You feeling like and identifying as gay was always going to happen, and it is not wrong to feel attracted to the same gender. It just is true. Its how you deal with it now that counts. Hide it from your family and decide what it is that YOU believe you should do based on your views on Islam. There are mosques that openly accept gay people so you would not be alone in accepting it. Different Muslims have different beliefs, what's yours?
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    (Original post by Faeeza.Ifti)
    but tbh that wouldn't really be fair on the woman. Yes he might like her as a friend but he won't really love her. That woman has feelings to you know. If he were to marry a woman the woman would have a right to know. Also although it is a 'sin', marrying a woman won't make him any less gay. He loves guys and is attracted to guys in his heart so he'll always be gay. At the end of the day, like I said, it's just him and his lord on the day of judgement and Allah is understanding.
    The thing about marriage is that it's meant to bind people together and having intercourse with the spouse during marriage normally helps to consolidate that.

    On a side note i believe we were never born to have these urges of sin, rather we more or less fell in to them, but the thing is we can always climb out of these holes and thus choose the right path religion wise. It's like an acknowledged handsome man calling himself ugly; but is he actually ugly? No, it's just what he's deluding himself into thinking.

    (Btw I'm not trying to attack homosexuals, but rather just trying to show that being gay in my personal view was more or less a choice, so being straight again can also be possible - only if you so wish to be.)
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by muslimtsr)
    Hi everyone,

    I didn't know this was going to happen, but I have fallen so deeply in love with my best friend, as has he. We are both Muslims, practising, and love Islam. But obviously, we don't know what to do anymore...

    I lives are tearing a part thinking we can't be together but maybe there is hope for the future. We are quite normal lads, so if it ever came out, it would be a shock to everyone.

    The people that reply, please be from a muslim background, I would like help and understanding. Will it get better if I come out to my family? At least I wouldn't then marry a girl and make her life bad since I want to be with a guy?

    How is it being an out gay muslim? How does the community help? Besides the sex sides of things, it's more of an extremely strong emotional connection I have with my bestfriend, I just want people who was in my boat to please help...

    I am an asian muslim boy, average family guy, I just have been dying inside lately because my future seems terrible without him. I can't even being to describe how we are meant for each other, but there's so much up to be lost...

    Guys, no rude messages please, only here to gain help from those with experience.

    I'm literally begging for someone with a similar background, to help, i feel like this world has crushed me. It's the worst feeling ever to know my time is running out with him.

    I was into girls, but he came along and changed everything up. I am a good muslim and I reckon we would be together, but obviously it's what the community has to say.

    Thank you so much if you're willing to help me, I really need it.

    Yours,

    muslimtsr x
    This world is a bridge and a bridge should not be taken as a home
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by muslimtsr)
    Hi everyone,

    I didn't know this was going to happen, but I have fallen so deeply in love with my best friend, as has he. We are both Muslims, practising, and love Islam. But obviously, we don't know what to do anymore...

    I lives are tearing a part thinking we can't be together but maybe there is hope for the future. We are quite normal lads, so if it ever came out, it would be a shock to everyone.

    The people that reply, please be from a muslim background, I would like help and understanding. Will it get better if I come out to my family? At least I wouldn't then marry a girl and make her life bad since I want to be with a guy?

    How is it being an out gay muslim? How does the community help? Besides the sex sides of things, it's more of an extremely strong emotional connection I have with my bestfriend, I just want people who was in my boat to please help...

    I am an asian muslim boy, average family guy, I just have been dying inside lately because my future seems terrible without him. I can't even being to describe how we are meant for each other, but there's so much up to be lost...

    Guys, no rude messages please, only here to gain help from those with experience.

    I'm literally begging for someone with a similar background, to help, i feel like this world has crushed me. It's the worst feeling ever to know my time is running out with him.

    I was into girls, but he came along and changed everything up. I am a good muslim and I reckon we would be together, but obviously it's what the community has to say.

    Thank you so much if you're willing to help me, I really need it.

    Yours,

    muslimtsr x

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    (Original post by Jang Gwangnam)
    I don't know if you're trolling as your account was made in October, but at the end of the day, who cares. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    So... Being Gay is Haraam.

    (btw you should've posted this in ISOC.)

    Big up it's a Sin, and as it stands i'll never tell a brother to commit a sin, especially if the sin was mentioned in the Qur'an. So marry yourself off to a woman (i.e. village girl). Allah knows the amount of pain and suffering we go through trying to avoid sins and he'll award us immensely for avoiding these Sins in the afterlife. So big up, get married to a woman and try to get rid of these haraam urges by doing your woman. Simple as.
    Maybe he'll reward you.................. Or maybe you'll spend the next thousand years dead in the ground having wasted the one and only life you have because of some strange notion of sin.Which is more likely?
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    (Original post by Jang Gwangnam)
    The thing about marriage is that it's meant to bind people together and having intercourse with the spouse during marriage normally helps to consolidate that.

    On a side note i believe we were never born to have these urges of sin, rather we more or less fell in to them, but the thing is we can always climb out of these holes and thus choose the right path religion wise. It's like an acknowledged handsome man calling himself ugly; but is he actually ugly? No, it's just what he's deluding himself into thinking.

    (Btw I'm not trying to attack homosexuals, but rather just trying to show that being gay in my personal view was more or less a choice, so being straight again can also be possible - only if you so wish to be.)
    why on earth would any muslim make a choice to be gay? Because of the love and affection they will receive from their parents and community? Its plainly not a choice.
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    (Original post by Wired_1800)
    I hope you are not a troll.

    I don't want to start a war on here but I don't think that you can be a homosexual and a muslim.

    Homosexuality is a serious sin in Islam and you cannot believe in the tenets of the religion plus the teachings of the Holy Book (Quran) and be a homosexual at the same time.

    It sounds harsh and I may receive some stick for writing the above, but it is the truth. People should not argue that you can be gay and be a muslim when they seriously contradict each other.

    My sincere advice to you is to gently leave Islam and be free to live your life the way you wish. Be with who you love and be happy. However, please don't be a hypocrite by remaining in the religion and committing serious sins. If you do, you may become a victim.

    I recognise that your Asian culture adds to the strictness of the Islam community, but i would suggest that you gently and respectfully leave Islam. Then be with whom you want to be with.

    Everyone deserves happiness and so should you, mate.

    All the best.
    Surely all sin is equal.
    A sin is a sin is a sin
    Have you never committed one?
    Surely you cannot claim to have lived a life entirely free of sin.
    Why is your sin worthy of remaining in Islam and forgiveness but the OPs not. Surely judgement comes from God and not man.
    Why need he give up his faith?
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    Ditch your religion which is making you miserable and get with the guy.
 
 
 
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