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Gay Muslim- Please Help, only advice from Muslims in UK/ London. watch

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    (Original post by Sammylou40)
    Surely all sin is equal.
    A sin is a sin is a sin
    Have you never committed one?
    Surely you cannot claim to have lived a life entirely free of sin.
    Why is your sin worthy of remaining in Islam and forgiveness but the OPs not. Surely judgement comes from God and not man.
    Why need he give up his faith?
    No sin is greater or lesser than another sin, except murder in my opinion. It is for his own benefit. it is important for him to be his true self.

    As a homosexual, who tries to be muslim, he may probably live a life of lies or decent. He is probably doing that atm.

    Why live a life of lie when you can leave Islam and be your true self. I doubt many muslims will be open to him being a homosexual, so he will have to hide it. If he does, he may be a victim of honour killing.

    Whatever the OP wants to do, it is up them.
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    looooool **** the gays brother youve gone astray slap that **** outta yourself
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    (Original post by muslimtsr)
    Hi everyone,

    I didn't know this was going to happen, but I have fallen so deeply in love with my best friend, as has he. We are both Muslims, practising, and love Islam. But obviously, we don't know what to do anymore...

    I lives are tearing a part thinking we can't be together but maybe there is hope for the future. We are quite normal lads, so if it ever came out, it would be a shock to everyone.

    The people that reply, please be from a muslim background, I would like help and understanding. Will it get better if I come out to my family? At least I wouldn't then marry a girl and make her life bad since I want to be with a guy?

    How is it being an out gay muslim? How does the community help? Besides the sex sides of things, it's more of an extremely strong emotional connection I have with my bestfriend, I just want people who was in my boat to please help...

    I am an asian muslim boy, average family guy, I just have been dying inside lately because my future seems terrible without him. I can't even being to describe how we are meant for each other, but there's so much up to be lost...

    Guys, no rude messages please, only here to gain help from those with experience.

    I'm literally begging for someone with a similar background, to help, i feel like this world has crushed me. It's the worst feeling ever to know my time is running out with him.

    I was into girls, but he came along and changed everything up. I am a good muslim and I reckon we would be together, but obviously it's what the community has to say.

    Thank you so much if you're willing to help me, I really need it.

    Yours,

    muslimtsr x
    Hi,


    I think that you shouldn’t tell your family as they might react and take matters into their own account. Another point I would like to say is that Allah SWT tests people differently and you should start doing dua after prayer and just remember that this is a test from god and he wants to know how you deal with this. Secondly, the marriage situation if it ever comes to the point just say you don’t want to get married because end of the day it’s your choice it’s not like there going to be married to that girl, and you shouldn’t get forced either as it is haram, stereotypically in the Asian culture it was seen as normal to get married from back home or get married to their parents choice.
    You also say that you was once into girls but then he came along, can you explain what you mean by this as what is going through my head is that he has seduced you.

    And one more thing for the people on this thread saying that it is a sin, not really if you start doing the homosexual acts then it would be a sin just as a heterosexual man has sex with a women.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi. It seems like you really love this guy. You can't ignore the fact that you love him that will just lead to more problems. I think before you do anything you need to acknowledge that it isn't your fault or his fault and certainly isn't something to be ashamed of as a Muslim. We don't choose who we fall in love with it just happens. This is just my opinion but I don't think Allah will be angry or against it. You say you are a muslim and as long as you are firm in your beliefs, love Allah and do every basic thing a muslim should do there is no problem. Being a muslim is about submission to Allah not about your sexuality. At the end of the day it's just you and your lord. You should do what makes you happy. Just because you're gay it doesn't mean you can't stay a Muslim. God is kind and loving to everybody and he knows how much you're suffering and the pain you're feeling right now. He is indeed understanding.
    But because you're asian I don't know what to expect from your family if you come out. I'm asian too. It's not really you going 'against' religion your family will care about. It will be about what society will think and fear of your family's name being tarnished or insulted. I don't know how to put this in english because it's just not the same. Basically your family might be worried about 'izat' If you know what I mean. It means respect in English but when you say it in urdu it's a whole other meaning. My advice is to just come out to your family whether they are very cultural or not that cultural. In asian culture marriage is quite a big thing so they might feel angry at first or sad but what's the worst that can happen. You're already gay so not telling them won't make you any less gay. You can't delay the inevitable. Your family love you and eventually they'll understand. Just make them understand that the word 'izat' is nothing. Literally it's nothing. Like who the hell cares what other people think about you and your family. The only thing they should care about is your and their happiness and If this is what makes you happy then so be it.
    This is pretty long but you get the memo. I've been in a similar situation. But with a different thing. Just do it. Come out to your parents. As I said before you can't delay the inevitable.
    I agree with you on some points but coming out to the family is whole different story and the word izat means honour and at the end of the day no matter what you do your always going to get judged and it doesn’t really matter, the only thing that matters is what’s you do as your going to go in your own grave.
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    (Original post by Jang Gwangnam)
    I don't know if you're trolling as your account was made in October, but at the end of the day, who cares. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    So... Being Gay is Haraam.

    (btw you should've posted this in ISOC.)

    Big up it's a Sin, and as it stands i'll never tell a brother to commit a sin, especially if the sin was mentioned in the Qur'an. So marry yourself off to a woman (i.e. village girl). Allah knows the amount of pain and suffering we go through trying to avoid sins and he'll award us immensely for avoiding these Sins in the afterlife. So big up, get married to a woman and try to get rid of these haraam urges by doing your woman. Simple as.
    No God should hate on anyone for being born the way they were.

    In Islam, it is believed that Allah made people the way they were, and so according to the belief, Allah has made him.

    He is right in the sense that sometimes Islam condones things one cannot control, for example, there is actually a gene or a set of genes that determines your sexuality (research it on asapscience).

    It's his decision as whether to leave the religion or not, and my advice would be to leave it.
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    This is my response to all, please read carefully. I hope everyone reads. No, the guy I'm talking about didn't seduce me, we haven't had sex. I just fell in love with him, insanely in love, we get along extremely well and would do anything for each other. I can't imagine my life without him, I fell in love with him.

    That being said, everyone needs to understand that I will never leave Islam. I love the religion so much, we both do, we’re both devout Muslims, it is a fantastic religion and there are people who interpret it really wrong- we cannot fully trust interpretations.

    I have found a better understanding for myself, and that is, to just judge oneself and no one else. Don’t put anyone else’s sin above mine. This is definitely a test by Allah SWT, but I will deal with the consequences and I know Allah will support me.

    Please, to everyone reading this, being gay is so hard- you need to understand. Imagine how many people out there who are gay, and are living insanely horrible lives just to keep everyone happy? Who are lying to their wives faces? There’s so much lying that goes on, even cheating, and this is all haram and sinful in all sorts of ways, we cannot pin point what Allah’s final decision will be. This is a test, but at the same time, I follow all the main things it takes to be a good muslim, being gay shouldn’t change your mind on me. Leave it to only Allah to judge me and you, it helps everyone.

    Be good to us, and everyone who has to suffer in any sort of way. It’s what makes us a strong family religion. We just have to remember that current interpretations of Islam cannot be taken as final answer, just do good to yourself…
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    This life is a test.Learn to practice self control.As a Muslim who has read the Quran,I can tell you it is a big sin in the eyes of Allah.I will never encourage you to keep piling on sins so it's better for you to practice self control,pray 5 times a day and ask for forgiveness.May Allah give you hope and strenght.Ameen.
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    (Original post by muslimtsr)
    Hi everyone,

    I didn't know this was going to happen, but I have fallen so deeply in love with my best friend, as has he. We are both Muslims, practising, and love Islam. But obviously, we don't know what to do anymore...

    I lives are tearing a part thinking we can't be together but maybe there is hope for the future. We are quite normal lads, so if it ever came out, it would be a shock to everyone.

    The people that reply, please be from a muslim background, I would like help and understanding. Will it get better if I come out to my family? At least I wouldn't then marry a girl and make her life bad since I want to be with a guy?

    How is it being an out gay muslim? How does the community help? Besides the sex sides of things, it's more of an extremely strong emotional connection I have with my bestfriend, I just want people who was in my boat to please help...

    I am an asian muslim boy, average family guy, I just have been dying inside lately because my future seems terrible without him. I can't even being to describe how we are meant for each other, but there's so much up to be lost...

    Guys, no rude messages please, only here to gain help from those with experience.

    I'm literally begging for someone with a similar background, to help, i feel like this world has crushed me. It's the worst feeling ever to know my time is running out with him.

    I was into girls, but he came along and changed everything up. I am a good muslim and I reckon we would be together, but obviously it's what the community has to say.

    Thank you so much if you're willing to help me, I really need it.

    Yours,

    muslimtsr x
    Unfortunately, homosexuality is strictly forbidden in Islam. Either give up on your crush (I know you don't want to, WRONG CHOICE, SAD FACE ), or stop letting some religion dictate your life and leave it to join the love of your life! (DO IT, IT'S THE RIGHT CHOICE, WOO:woo::woo:)
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    In simple terms homosexuality is haram, forbidden. Having urges is not a sin. Just like a peado would claim it's not their fault as they naturally feel these urges, it's morally and Islamically onto any believer to resist temptations. You started of by saying that you were always into girls, a normal lad. It's quiet common for very close friends to confuse friendship and love. People go through many phases in their life and it's important to hold onto Islam and resist. Again homosexual feelings is not a sin, acting on it is. Looking at things from a phycological angle, with many cases of homosexuality or changes in sexuality, it is linked to life experiences. It's like how many children abused when young have gone into doing the same to others. The mind is fragile. Especially in a society we live in these days with everything being about sex and homosexuality visible far and wide, polluting child's minds. Don't get me wrong, I'm not calling you insane. My point is fight through it, keep strong and you will see light at the end of the tunnel. In regards to marriage, you are right, it's not good for the girl. At the end of the day, you say you believe in Islam, so you believe in the afterlife. On the day of judgement how would you feel when waking up to be judged? I would say go and speak to a imam, not an old school one but someone whose for open minded, like sheikh haitham. You will remain anonymous and you will get to release your burden, get advice and make positive progress iA. It is sad that in our Asian culture it is hard to speak to others without consequences. I pray everything gets better for you.
    • #6
    #6

    Firstly, homosexuality is forbidden in Islam as it seen as a abominable sin. This is because it God knows that it will eventually lead to ultimate sadness and evil rather than happiness. On the other hand, if your were to marry a women then you will live in everlasting happiness knowing that you will not be frowned upon and you will have beautiful children. However, the sin of homosexuality makes you seem in Islam as a unclean individual. My advice to you would be to either end this "joke" right now and get your life back on track or you can in turn leave Islam and never claim to be a Muslim. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "If you find anyone doing as Lot’s people did, kill the one who does it, and the one to whom it is done" (38:4447). This Hadith shows that in order to keep yourself clean from this atrocity you must stay away from the sinners who perform it and therefore you will end up living a happy and fulfilled life!
    I hope this has helped you understand how wrong this is!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Firstly, homosexuality is forbidden in Islam as it seen as a abominable sin. This is because it God knows that it will eventually lead to ultimate sadness and evil rather than happiness. On the other hand, if your were to marry a women then you will live in everlasting happiness knowing that you will not be frowned upon and you will have beautiful children. However, the sin of homosexuality makes you seem in Islam as a unclean individual. My advice to you would be to either end this "joke" right now and get your life back on track or you can in turn leave Islam and never claim to be a Muslim. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "If you find anyone doing as Lot’s people did, kill the one who does it, and the one to whom it is done" (38:4447). This Hadith shows that in order to keep yourself clean from this atrocity you must stay away from the sinners who perform it and therefore you will end up living a happy and fulfilled life!
    I hope this has helped you understand how wrong this is!
    Yes homosexuality is wrong.But the murder of gay people that's absolutely fine, clearly.I don't even know where to start with this.
    Why don't you just move to saudia arabia already? Seems like you'd fit right in with those barbarians.
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    Peace be on you,I'm so sorry you're going through this. I can tell it's having a real toll on you. I pray that you can see a way through this.There is a muslim group out there on Yahoo called Straight Struggle. It helps Muslims who experience same sex attractions and encourages them to live a chase life and also to explore the reasons why they might be experiencing these emotions. From your description it sounds like your friendship with this guy is more about wanting an emotional connection with a brother than anything to do with a sexual desire. In which case just be best friends and don't take it further. Islam is about living the way God advises us to live and not the way our desires tell us to. Our desires are heavily influenced by genetics, education, experiences, up bringing, mental and physical health - so not necessarily the best thing to base our action off of according to Islam.Everyone above has been saying homosexuality is haram. That's not exactly correct. There is no Arabic word for 'homosexuality' or 'homosexual'. Engaging in a homosexual act (from looking all the way to full on intercourse) is not permissible in the Islamic frame work (just like any extra-marital relationship, even solo pleasure). But simply having the urge/attraction - that isn't sinful and there's nothing wrong with you, all Muslims have all sorts of desires. It's how you respond to them which is what life is all about in Islam. Definitely look into the psychology behind homosexual attractions, I think you will find it will uncover a lot.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    homosexuality is forbidden in Islam as it seen as a abominable sin.
    I think more accurately homosexual sex is forbidden in Islam. Just like extra marital sex and masturbation. The person experiencing these attractions who doesn't act on them is as praised and worthy and valuable as any other 'good' Muslim.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    if your were to marry a women then you will live in everlasting happiness
    With all due respect, that's easier said than done, especially if you're not attracted to the opposite gender. But it sounds like the OP does have some opposite sex attraction so maybe it is a possibility for him
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    sin of homosexuality makes you seem in Islam as a unclean individual.
    Again, in Islam, engaging in any extra-marital sexual contact (even masturbation) is seen as sinful. A 'homosexual' , i.e someone who just happens to be attracted to the same gender but doesn't indulge those desires is never ever seen as sinful.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This Hadith shows......
    The hadith is talking about people who commit intercourse in public, and that is very relevant when trying to understand it. Even the UK and US have punitive laws of public indecency. Islam also vehemently protects the privacy of individuals which stops them from being accused of anything (whether true or not). What people do in private (yes even homosexual acts) is between them and their Creator as there is no compulsion in religion for you to follow or not follow the advice of the Creator.
    It's one thing to talk about what acts Islam considers moral/immoral, but its completely another thing to shame an individual in the process for their feelings.
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    I thought sodomy was a sin. So as long as you don't commit sodomy you're good?
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    (Original post by Studentlaura)
    I thought sodomy was a sin. So as long as you don't commit sodomy you're good?
    I think sodomy in public is a 'sin' that an islamic society (or any society for that matter) is obliged to stop happening - although the actual way it does this differs with different opinions.
    People who practice same sex relationships have for a very long time been left alone to get on with things in islamic societies, no one really bothers them as long as it's kept behind closed doors. For a long time there has been evidence of homoerotic poetry in middle eastern literature - although that's not to say those writing such poerty didn't also consider a same sex act as going beyond what is considered a safe bound according to the advice of a Creator..
    Nonetheless any sort of erotic behavior outside of a man-woman marriage is considered morally sinful. "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze...." We're not even supposed to "look" lustfully at anyone except our wives. So in answer to your question even looking can be a sin. But then again so is backbiting, being rude to your parents etc.....
    But there is no compulsion in religion, it's up to you if you want to follow it or not. if you live in a non Muslim country you can do it openly and be public about it. In a Muslim country you do it privately (like with an extra marital relationship, or drinking, or gambling etc....) and no one will say anything and everyone just gets on with their lives - i think God is more interested in you wanting to live in His way than you being forced into it.
    • #7
    #7

    It's interesting reading everyone's input on here. I'm a muslim, pakistani guy with same sex attraction. I seriously can relate with what you mean not the relationship thing ( I'd hate the thought of being in relationship with a guy ever) but actually having this same sex relation. I want to get married and have kids and live a happy life like everyone else. I'm not that camp alhamdulillah but I have a hint of it as well as low self-esteem (due to this) which I hate cos I don't want anyone to know etc, but inshallah I know Allah will remove this.

    For people who say 'be who you want to be' 'Allah has made you like this' 'Allah will forgive you'(yeah then I might as well be a serial killer and have that mentality?)'- Seriously?! Its easy for you to say cos you've not got this feeling. It says in the hadith and the quran about the people of lot. Ok, lets say live your life as a gay guy and have sex and then u die... imagine being questioned in the grave, the point you realise Islam was real, the quran, the hadith, Allahs commands were all so real. And then knowing at the same time, Allah said homosexual sex is forbidden, Allah says it explicitly in the quran- there is no sugar-coating it. On that day Prophet Muhammed PBUH will intercede for his ummah, but for a fact I know if I have violated Islam there will be no interceding for me. On that day I wont wanna be there knowing I'm going hell just for this stupid sin, for eternity!

    Bro my humble advise is pray to Allah he makes it easy for you. Inshallah, I'm gonna finish uni, work and then get married - do Umrah with my wife, istikhra (help prayer- you might as well try this with your sit, it might help). For those who say its unfair for the wife/kids, I disagree ur completing half ur deen- we'll grow in religion, i'll protect, love, look after, provide affection and sexual attraction. If you follow this path, for sure Allah will bless ur marriage, life, work and wealth.

    Last week, I prayed to Allah regarding this- but wallahi for a few days i felt my wish was granted- i felt proper attraction for women, like chatting to a women online I felt proper aroused and sh** but I remember then thinking about a guy and it felt so disgusting. Wallahi, no lie I actually felt this way. But yeah its gone back to normal. But it was a way of Allah to show me. My biggest worry is ability to have/maintain sex. Then u hear of gay guys having children- so deffo its possible. With me, I dont care about marriage cos the type of person I am i know I'll end up loving a girl.

    But one advise I'd give to u bro is have iman, have faith. You're knocking on the wrong door, humans have sexual desires of course they'll say bro go do ur thing but knock on Allahs door with sincerity of Allah. Second advise I'd give is dont always take someone's advise full on (unless they're trying to help u) cos on the day of judgement it will be u standing in front of Allah, not them- on that day everyone will care only for himself. So keep sabr and iman in Allah, on that day you will be amazed with the amount of good deeds u receive by this.

    Prophet ﷺ said: "On the Day of Judgment, when the people who were tried (in this world) are given their rewards, the people who were pardoned (in life), will wish that their skins had been cut off with scissors while they were in the world." - Think it like this thank allah for blessing you with this test! Damn them rewards tho.

    Good luck bro
    • #8
    #8

    I'd like to say I don't believe in putting a label on these things. Im a Muslim female and have felt attracted to women for many years. I thought it was a phase but it just never went away..

    I'm in a similar situation where if I get into a rship with a girl I won't be 100% happy cause I know Islam is against it. But I've tried to pray for this to go away yet I felt depressed and suffocated..

    I'm trying to take each day as it comes. Although it's hard cause I wish I could be with a girl.. Don't tell your family yet.. wait till you are financially stable and can move out, then tell them if you really have to..

    Be careful who you talk to about this issue as well.. I'm grateful that I have a friend whom I can talk to. she's Muslim too, she can't encourage me to get with a girl but she's there for me when I need someone to talk to.... I hope everything works out for you.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    • #8
    #8

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's interesting reading everyone's input on here. I'm a muslim, pakistani guy with same sex attraction. I seriously can relate with what you mean not the relationship thing ( I'd hate the thought of being in relationship with a guy ever) but actually having this same sex relation. I want to get married and have kids and live a happy life like everyone else. I'm not that camp alhamdulillah but I have a hint of it as well as low self-esteem (due to this) which I hate cos I don't want anyone to know etc, but inshallah I know Allah will remove this.

    For people who say 'be who you want to be' 'Allah has made you like this' 'Allah will forgive you'(yeah then I might as well be a serial killer and have that mentality?)'- Seriously?! Its easy for you to say cos you've not got this feeling. It says in the hadith and the quran about the people of lot. Ok, lets say live your life as a gay guy and have sex and then u die... imagine being questioned in the grave, the point you realise Islam was real, the quran, the hadith, Allahs commands were all so real. And then knowing at the same time, Allah said homosexual sex is forbidden, Allah says it explicitly in the quran- there is no sugar-coating it. On that day Prophet Muhammed PBUH will intercede for his ummah, but for a fact I know if I have violated Islam there will be no interceding for me. On that day I wont wanna be there knowing I'm going hell just for this stupid sin, for eternity!

    Bro my humble advise is pray to Allah he makes it easy for you. Inshallah, I'm gonna finish uni, work and then get married - do Umrah with my wife, istikhra (help prayer- you might as well try this with your sit, it might help). For those who say its unfair for the wife/kids, I disagree ur completing half ur deen- we'll grow in religion, i'll protect, love, look after, provide affection and sexual attraction. If you follow this path, for sure Allah will bless ur marriage, life, work and wealth.

    Last week, I prayed to Allah regarding this- but wallahi for a few days i felt my wish was granted- i felt proper attraction for women, like chatting to a women online I felt proper aroused and sh** but I remember then thinking about a guy and it felt so disgusting. Wallahi, no lie I actually felt this way. But yeah its gone back to normal. But it was a way of Allah to show me. My biggest worry is ability to have/maintain sex. Then u hear of gay guys having children- so deffo its possible. With me, I dont care about marriage cos the type of person I am i know I'll end up loving a girl.

    But one advise I'd give to u bro is have iman, have faith. You're knocking on the wrong door, humans have sexual desires of course they'll say bro go do ur thing but knock on Allahs door with sincerity of Allah. Second advise I'd give is dont always take someone's advise full on (unless they're trying to help u) cos on the day of judgement it will be u standing in front of Allah, not them- on that day everyone will care only for himself. So keep sabr and iman in Allah, on that day you will be amazed with the amount of good deeds u receive by this.

    Prophet ﷺ said: "On the Day of Judgment, when the people who were tried (in this world) are given their rewards, the people who were pardoned (in life), will wish that their skins had been cut off with scissors while they were in the world." - Think it like this thank allah for blessing you with this test! Damn them rewards tho.

    Good luck bro
    I just commented below your message. wow I lob e your response brother! I have days where I feel so low and want to get with another girl. but then I have days where I feel disgusted..

    Love your mentality, keep up the positivity. Please keep me in your duas and you're all in mine.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    • #7
    #7

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just commented below your message. wow I lob e your response brother! I have days where I feel so low and want to get with another girl. but then I have days where I feel disgusted..

    Love your mentality, keep up the positivity. Please keep me in your duas and you're all in mine.
    No worries sis you got this! I'm here if you need help. Your always in my duas iA.
    • #8
    #8

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No worries sis you got this! I'm here if you need help. Your always in my duas iA.
    Thank You! and likewise, if you want to talk
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
 
 
 
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