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Girlfriend issues, any advice? Watch

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    I'm dating some girl I met at work and the way she behaves towards me is very confusing.

    On our first date, I paid for one thing and she paid for another. She then insisted to pay on the second date. I took this as a really good sign so evened it up very quickly. She hasn't ever said no to going out anywhere with me, but she has never suggested we do anything - it's always on me and it feels like she doesn't care that much.

    When I see her at work she ignores me to talk to her friends basically the whole time, she literally didn't speak to me unless I interacted with her which after a while I gave up with as it's a bad look to be constantly chasing someone.

    I know she randomly ignores my messages sometimes (but I'm not pestering, it's literally 1:1 and I'll wait it out because (a) I'm busy, and (b) It's a bit creepy) and often doesn't reply for ages even on her days off or whatever.

    She invited me to a party and was with me the whole night, and we ended up kissing for half of it but again it's always me initiating. She never says no or shows disinterest but also never seems that interested.

    I don't know if I'm just being paranoid due to a previous relationship with a total nutter or if there are some weird signs in there I'm missing, it's harder to see when you love the person. I just don't get it at all, can anyone shed light on this for me.

    TY for reading my essay
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    Maybe she's shy? Or unaware of how your feeling??? Maybe try and speak to her and see if it changes things? Lack of communication always makes things worse unless you guys speak about it and let eachother know the other one won't know.
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    (Original post by Amina190)
    Maybe she's shy? Or unaware of how your feeling??? Maybe try and speak to her and see if it changes things? Lack of communication always makes things worse unless you guys speak about it and let eachother know the other one won't know.
    How do I communicate it without seeming like a weirdo? That may seem a dumb question but I don't know how to put across that I love her but she's confusing me, as equally from her perspective she's always out with me and doesn't ever reject me - and of course she has every right to talk to her friends whenever she likes.
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    I hate girls like that :laugh:
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    Well for starters, I'd hope you didn't call her "some girl" to her face.
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    (Original post by bloodredbeat)
    Well for starters, I'd hope you didn't call her "some girl" to her face.
    Very insightful thanks for that useless and ridiculous comment. Obviously not, but what would be the point of putting a random name on here? If it makes you feel better - Susan. That isn't her name but there you go
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Very insightful thanks for that useless and ridiculous comment. Obviously not, but what would be the point of putting a random name on here? If it makes you feel better - Susan. That isn't her name but there you go
    Oooft, calm down.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How do I communicate it without seeming like a weirdo? That may seem a dumb question but I don't know how to put across that I love her but she's confusing me, as equally from her perspective she's always out with me and doesn't ever reject me - and of course she has every right to talk to her friends whenever she likes.
    Have you both got any mutual friends??? Speak to some and see what they think about whether she likes you back or talks about you or something.
    I'd say don't jump straight to the love bit might push her away, maybe make plans to hang up as friends jus you two and see where things go and then depending on what vibe you get from her when it's jus you too ask her something more subtle like what do you think of me or something.... I dunno... just don't try and bombard her with all the I love yous
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    On our first date, I paid for one thing and she paid for another. She then insisted to pay on the second date. I took this as a really good sign so evened it up very quickly.
    That is not weird. In fact I would say she's a keeper.

    She hasn't ever said no to going out anywhere with me, but she has never suggested we do anything - it's always on me and it feels like she doesn't care that much.
    If she hasn't ever said no..then she's definitely into you. I've been occasionally told no by chicks I were dating. Again a good sign.

    When I see her at work she ignores me to talk to her friends basically the whole time, she literally didn't speak to me unless I interacted with her which after a while I gave up with as it's a bad look to be constantly chasing someone.
    A) She's shy OR
    B) You act clingy at work.

    There is nothing more cool to a girl than a guy who has a bit of mystery about him. Do your own thing at work and hang out with other co-workers. You are her boyfriend. Not her bodyguard/chaperone.

    She invited me to a party and was with me the whole night, and we ended up kissing for half of it but again it's always me initiating. She never says no or shows disinterest but also never seems that interested.
    I thought you said she never made any plans???

    But yeah. If she was with you the WHOLE time, she's definitely into you. Not even the best of girlfriends spend the whole time with their bf at a social gathering. I can't tell you how many times I have had to make new friends or keep myself busy when my date goes off to mingle with her girlfriends.
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    (Original post by Inquirer)

    A) She's shy OR
    B) You act clingy at work.

    There is nothing more cool to a girl than a guy who has a bit of mystery about him. Do your own thing at work and hang out with other co-workers. You are her boyfriend. Not her bodyguard/chaperone.



    I thought you said she never made any plans???

    But yeah. If she was with you the WHOLE time, she's definitely into you. Not even the best of girlfriends spend the whole time with their bf at a social gathering. I can't tell you how many times I have had to make new friends or keep myself busy when my date goes off to mingle with her girlfriends.
    I don't really talk to her that much at work, she'll just walk by where I am and talk to someone directly next to me like I'm not there.

    I'll rephrase, she never makes any plans sober. I thought that, but now it seems weird that she didn't leave me to it at any point.

    (Original post by Amina190)
    Have you both got any mutual friends??? Speak to some and see what they think about whether she likes you back or talks about you or something.
    I'd say don't jump straight to the love bit might push her away, maybe make plans to hang up as friends jus you two and see where things go and then depending on what vibe you get from her when it's jus you too ask her something more subtle like what do you think of me or something.... I dunno... just don't try and bombard her with all the I love yous
    I haven't really told her that I love her (once I think, maybe twice) - I did ask her that (well she got asked as part of a game) and she said she loved me, but again started acting kinda weird and being intentionally distant.

    (Original post by bloodredbeat)
    Oooft, calm down.
    It's a dumb thing to say, you got the appropriate response.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't know if I'm just being paranoid due to a previous relationship with a total nutter or if there are some weird signs in there I'm missing, it's harder to see when you love the person. I just don't get it at all, can anyone shed light on this for me.
    My advice is don't bring love into it. Wrong time wrong place. The only place for love is when you are completely committed to each other and/or living together.

    It seems that you have not invited her to your place yet. That's usually the next step before serious thoughts such as do you love her are needed. If she resists taking things further then you know where you are.
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    Doesn't sound very encouraging to be honest. Perhaps she's not sure what she wants - a common female dilemma in my experience. Why not ask her whats what?
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    [QUOTE=Anonymous;74064850]I don't really talk to her that much at work, she'll just walk by where I am and talk to someone directly next to me like I'm not there.

    I'll rephrase, she never makes any plans sober. I thought that, but now it seems weird that she didn't leave me to it at any point.



    I haven't really told her that I love her (once I think, maybe twice) - I did ask her that (well she got asked as part of a game) and she said she loved me, but again started acting kinda weird and being intentionally distant.

    Look unless you ask her we could suggest a million different reasons or give a million different advices to you. I mean none of us really know her apart from what you have said so it's kind of hard to judge if she's jus indecisive and not sure whether she likes you hence why her behaviour keeps changing, or she's not ready to be with someone so she backs out or acts odd when she gets worried or she's jus generally shy and doesn't know how to behave. just try and ask...
 
 
 
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