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Transgender and other problems Watch

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    Basically I think I am transgender. I also think I have depression (suicidal idealation and SH and crap, but this post isn't about that).

    Anyways - transgender stuff

    I haven't come out to anyone (barely to myself). I am too scared to. My Mum also doesn't 'believe' in people being transgender. I mean I think she will agree with it but we were watching a TV show (can't remember what) and the topic of transgender people came up. My Mum and Dad both work at a job centre so they have training in stuff like this. My Mum said that she thought being trans was a 'fad' as lots of people are coming out ow compared to in the past. My Dad then said it's because people are more accepting now.

    Basically I'm trans (Ftm) and am too scared to come out. I also kind of doubt my Mum would believe me.


    So yeah I got a pretty good life right now...
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    if it is who you are, dont be scared because its just your life. if they love you, theyll accept you over time.
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    Talk to a professional and your parents. I'm sure that if you have loving parents, they will accept you the way you are.
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    You need to be careful with transgender issues - as for me (with a lot of personal experience) it is not a one-solution fits all model.

    You, with the help of professionals and those around you need to heavily weigh up the both sides of the coin.

    Its easy to say that anyone with these feelings should follow them and 'be themselves' - but the reality is that within our current societies on average transitioning does not improve the happiness or suicide rates of trans individuals.

    That's not to say that it wont make anyone happier. For some its a perfect solution, but for others it just trades existing problems for new problems.

    Take two trans friends of mine from uni,

    The first was a Ftm trans individual who transitioned smoothly with no resistance from or loss of family. Their physical transition was a huge success to the point that not a single person would be able to guess that they are anything but a normal guy now, all be it below average height. They face no resistance or opposition in the workforce or in daily life due to passing 100% of the time, and the only area they have new problems in minor inconveniences with dating - but they have still succeeded in this.

    For them, I have no doubt transitioning was the perfect decision.

    The second friend was a Mtf trans individual who faced a huge backlash from their family and risked being cut off completely. They were a larger individual with broad shoulders and a manly face. They never passed, and knew that they would never pass. They struggled to get employment despite never struggling before, faced prejudice/bad experiences everywhere, and hugely struggled with dating. The only people interested were only there for fetishistic sex, and they felt awful that they could never have a normal life.

    They de-transitioned 3 years later and are now much happier again. Sure they will never be fully comfortable in their own body, and will always have disphorea and negative feelings, but for them transitioning did not solve these feelings because the end result was still no where near what they felt it should be, and the huge raft of social problems that came with it ended up making them even more unhappy then they ever were before.

    ----

    De-transitioning is something very rarely talked about in LGBT communities, but it does exist, and especially amoung younger trans individuals it is more common then you may think.

    My point is that you need to think very carefully about this - its why I never ever recommend it for children. It may solve their problem, but equally they may regret it when they are older and its to late. Hindsight is lovely but for every trans adult who wishes they had done it when they were a kid, there is a non-trans adult who may have had similar feelings as a kid but now lives a perfectly happy life without transitioning.

    For you, it might be a solution, or it might not. Think carefully and don't rush anything, and definitely go through the whole thing with at least a Councillor or someone who can help you explore how you feel, what you really want and how you may cope going forward. A doctor is not really enough as from my experience they tend to lean more on the procedures of treatment that are in their guidelines then actually exploring the issues.
 
 
 
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