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am I really in the friend zone? LONG POST BUT I NEED HELP PLEASE Watch

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    #1

    I have recently meet a guy in an unconventional way but regardless our connection is undeniable.

    We honestly really hit it off, even admitting to one another that we don't typically connect with other in such a deep way as we already have. We very much so balance each other out, and he's one of the few guys I have ever meet in my life that I feel would challenge me.. as in push me, help me, and inspire me to be my best self, and I know (and he's said) that he could see me challenging him in that same way..

    The thing is, after we had hung out officially and were talking with one another about how great of a time we had, it seemed that almost in minuets he had put a guard up and he had told me that he's in a period of life where he doesn't trust anyone and he wants to keep his emotions to himself (background, we had already discussed what it was he was looking for and he said he was looking for a gf, if all things were right, but he's said that getting close to me has shown him that "he isn't actually ready, but he likes the potential"... In his defense, he's gone through things in life that he shouldn't have had to go though, leaving him VERY timid to opening up. I know he may still be "looking" at other girls but I know he hasn't hung out with any girl except me in the last few months, even as we've stated that we are friends. I am not sure if the necessarily means anything per say but figured i would add that point in... We've had a few discussions about this whole situation and all in all I am understanding that he wants to be friends right now and not leave each others lives, and maybe when he's "actually ready" something possibly could bloom... my confusion is some conversations we've had since that confuse me on where he actually stands.

    Conversation 1:
    guy: "... I really think you're great but I would be lying if I said I was ready for my next chapter right now even tho I really enjoy your presence in my life. I can guarantee you'll find someone great who is ready for a relationship and I am sorry its not me right now even tho I liked the potential. Being close to you made me realize I'm not ready even tho you're one heck of a catch but I feel bad for saying stuff like that when I am not actually cuffing you while saying it so I apologize. And I appreciate you hanging out with me lately and letting me get to know you as you've gotten to know me. I guess that ball is in your court if we're still friends and talk and stuff and I'm only saying that right now I'm not focussed on commitment but I'll change eventually... I understand that word is so vague but I can't imagine its too far away I'm just saying"

    The end of that conversation had me confused to start but I tried not to think too much into it (even though I am very much so an overthinker!!)

    Still continuing to talk frequently (he is a VERY bad texter), about a week later another confusing conversation occurred..

    BACKGROUND, he had made a comment about how it was good I didn't have a boyfriend right now since college work is picking up a bit... I figured this was him low-key reiterating that I was in the friend zone so i wrote...

    me: And if that's you reiterating that I'm in the friend zone its cool I get it haha*laughing emoji*

    guy: No I am not saying that!
    guy: Stop, I think you're awesome, attractive, funny, cool, sweet, and (excuse me) sexy... I just don't have the capacity to love someone else right now more than I love myself. I barely make time for friends but they're the ones who need me right now and I need them. I can't have a gf right now but I only know that because I was so close to wanting to with you. You're a catch and I know that, but I'm still working on finding myself.. you know? Its not you at all 1000%

    Again, I was left very confused but still basically understood that he just wants to be friends right now. Still continuing to be very nice and actually have conversations with me, asking me how my day is going and keeping conversations going (something I think if we were only "friends" he wouldn't continually keep doing)

    I've been trying not to obsess over this confusing situation but a conversation we had a few days ago has left me dying for answers (hence I am here)..

    BACKGROUND, Throughout most of my life most people only really text me or talk to me when they need something... so this guy had texted me in the morning and I just kind of assumed it was the same type of situation, something like he only hit me up because he was bored.. so I kind of asked him if thats why he texted me.. he responded with.

    guy: ...It's just funny you thought I was bored thats why I texted you
    me: why is it funny
    guy: Because it shows what you think of how I feel about you. At least it makes me think about what you think about me... Which is sad because of our friendship/relationship so far and that you think I only talk to you when I would need something. Which isn't true because I honestly think you are a really cool person and i would love to hang out again, even in public because I honestly think you are beautiful as well

    At this point I am trying to figure out if he's just stringing me along or if he actually sees potential for us... PLEASE HELP ME FIGURE OUT WHERE HE IS AT AND WHAT MY NEXT STEPS SHOULD BE!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have recently meet a guy in an unconventional way but regardless our connection is undeniable.

    We honestly really hit it off, even admitting to one another that we don't typically connect with other in such a deep way as we already have. We very much so balance each other out, and he's one of the few guys I have ever meet in my life that I feel would challenge me.. as in push me, help me, and inspire me to be my best self, and I know (and he's said) that he could see me challenging him in that same way..

    The thing is, after we had hung out officially and were talking with one another about how great of a time we had, it seemed that almost in minuets he had put a guard up and he had told me that he's in a period of life where he doesn't trust anyone and he wants to keep his emotions to himself (background, we had already discussed what it was he was looking for and he said he was looking for a gf, if all things were right, but he's said that getting close to me has shown him that "he isn't actually ready, but he likes the potential"... In his defense, he's gone through things in life that he shouldn't have had to go though, leaving him VERY timid to opening up. I know he may still be "looking" at other girls but I know he hasn't hung out with any girl except me in the last few months, even as we've stated that we are friends. I am not sure if the necessarily means anything per say but figured i would add that point in... We've had a few discussions about this whole situation and all in all I am understanding that he wants to be friends right now and not leave each others lives, and maybe when he's "actually ready" something possibly could bloom... my confusion is some conversations we've had since that confuse me on where he actually stands.

    Conversation 1:
    guy: "... I really think you're great but I would be lying if I said I was ready for my next chapter right now even tho I really enjoy your presence in my life. I can guarantee you'll find someone great who is ready for a relationship and I am sorry its not me right now even tho I liked the potential. Being close to you made me realize I'm not ready even tho you're one heck of a catch but I feel bad for saying stuff like that when I am not actually cuffing you while saying it so I apologize. And I appreciate you hanging out with me lately and letting me get to know you as you've gotten to know me. I guess that ball is in your court if we're still friends and talk and stuff and I'm only saying that right now I'm not focussed on commitment but I'll change eventually... I understand that word is so vague but I can't imagine its too far away I'm just saying"

    The end of that conversation had me confused to start but I tried not to think too much into it (even though I am very much so an overthinker!!)

    Still continuing to talk frequently (he is a VERY bad texter), about a week later another confusing conversation occurred..

    BACKGROUND, he had made a comment about how it was good I didn't have a boyfriend right now since college work is picking up a bit... I figured this was him low-key reiterating that I was in the friend zone so i wrote...

    me: And if that's you reiterating that I'm in the friend zone its cool I get it haha*laughing emoji*

    guy: No I am not saying that!
    guy: Stop, I think you're awesome, attractive, funny, cool, sweet, and (excuse me) sexy... I just don't have the capacity to love someone else right now more than I love myself. I barely make time for friends but they're the ones who need me right now and I need them. I can't have a gf right now but I only know that because I was so close to wanting to with you. You're a catch and I know that, but I'm still working on finding myself.. you know? Its not you at all 1000%

    Again, I was left very confused but still basically understood that he just wants to be friends right now. Still continuing to be very nice and actually have conversations with me, asking me how my day is going and keeping conversations going (something I think if we were only "friends" he wouldn't continually keep doing)

    I've been trying not to obsess over this confusing situation but a conversation we had a few days ago has left me dying for answers (hence I am here)..

    BACKGROUND, Throughout most of my life most people only really text me or talk to me when they need something... so this guy had texted me in the morning and I just kind of assumed it was the same type of situation, something like he only hit me up because he was bored.. so I kind of asked him if thats why he texted me.. he responded with.

    guy: ...It's just funny you thought I was bored thats why I texted you
    me: why is it funny
    guy: Because it shows what you think of how I feel about you. At least it makes me think about what you think about me... Which is sad because of our friendship/relationship so far and that you think I only talk to you when I would need something. Which isn't true because I honestly think you are a really cool person and i would love to hang out again, even in public because I honestly think you are beautiful as well

    At this point I am trying to figure out if he's just stringing me along or if he actually sees potential for us... PLEASE HELP ME FIGURE OUT WHERE HE IS AT AND WHAT MY NEXT STEPS SHOULD BE!!
    It honestly seems like he does like you but doesn't want to commit to a relationship.
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    It seems clear.
    He’s attracted to you. And he cares about you
    But right now he is not ready to move into a proper relationship
    At least he’s been honest. He’s not lying to you and messing you around.
    He needs to take it very very slowly.
    It’s entirely up to you if you want to wait
 
 
 
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