Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

My boyfriend has a huge issue of me having a solo profile picture Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. We were long distance until this month when we finally moved into the same city. Until now I've had him in my profile pictures on WhatsApp and Facebook because, in all honesty, I was super excited about having a new guy in my life and I just found it cute.

    Now I don't think there is much point to it, we see each other every day anyway so I don't get anything out of having him in my profile picture. It's actually confusing to have two people representing the profile for one person. I have a foreign, unisex sounding name so I had people refer to me as 'he' a few times, thinking it was him that they were talking to. Most importantly I really don't like the idea that now there is an absolute rule that my profile pictures all have to have him in them.

    So I changed it to a solo picture of me to see how he responds. I even made it hidden from timeline so that it would be a quiet change without anyone thinking we argued or broke up. He said he was deeply offended by it and removed all of pictures with me from his timeline. When I said removing me like that is actually akin to a breakup he said he doesn't care and it's all or nothing for him, I am not entitled to a presence on his profile if I don't have him in my profile picture.

    Honestly now I wish I never started this tradition in the first place because he takes it the wrong way. In his defence, most people on his list who have SOs do seem to put profile pictures together 90% of the time. He thinks I am trying to act single if I don't have him in my profile picture since all those with bfs/gfs do have it.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. We were long distance until this month when we finally moved into the same city. Until now I've had him in my profile pictures on WhatsApp and Facebook because, in all honesty, I was super excited about having a new guy in my life and I just found it cute.

    Now I don't think there is much point to it, we see each other every day anyway so I don't get anything out of having him in my profile picture. It's actually confusing to have two people representing the profile for one person. I have a foreign, unisex sounding name so I had people refer to me as 'he' a few times, thinking it was him that they were talking to. Most importantly I really don't like the idea that now there is an absolute rule that my profile pictures all have to have him in them.

    So I changed it to a solo picture of me to see how he responds. I even made it hidden from timeline so that it would be a quiet change without anyone thinking we argued or broke up. He said he was deeply offended by it and removed all of pictures with me from his timeline. When I said removing me like that is actually akin to a breakup he said he doesn't care and it's all or nothing for him, I am not entitled to a presence on his profile if I don't have him in my profile picture.

    Honestly now I wish I never started this tradition in the first place because he takes it the wrong way. In his defence, most people on his list who have SOs do seem to put profile pictures together 90% of the time. He thinks I am trying to act single if I don't have him in my profile picture since all those with bfs/gfs do have it.
    looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooool. What a reaction. My sister doesn't even have facebook or any social media at all

    Why don't you use a facebook cover photo of both of you to compromise?
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. We were long distance until this month when we finally moved into the same city. Until now I've had him in my profile pictures on WhatsApp and Facebook because, in all honesty, I was super excited about having a new guy in my life and I just found it cute.

    Now I don't think there is much point to it, we see each other every day anyway so I don't get anything out of having him in my profile picture. It's actually confusing to have two people representing the profile for one person. I have a foreign, unisex sounding name so I had people refer to me as 'he' a few times, thinking it was him that they were talking to. Most importantly I really don't like the idea that now there is an absolute rule that my profile pictures all have to have him in them.

    So I changed it to a solo picture of me to see how he responds. I even made it hidden from timeline so that it would be a quiet change without anyone thinking we argued or broke up. He said he was deeply offended by it and removed all of pictures with me from his timeline. When I said removing me like that is actually akin to a breakup he said he doesn't care and it's all or nothing for him, I am not entitled to a presence on his profile if I don't have him in my profile picture.

    Honestly now I wish I never started this tradition in the first place because he takes it the wrong way. In his defence, most people on his list who have SOs do seem to put profile pictures together 90% of the time. He thinks I am trying to act single if I don't have him in my profile picture since all those with bfs/gfs do have it.
    Are you in his profile picture?

    He sounds kind of controlling and you clearly are uncomfortable and have doubts, given that you've posted on here. You need to have a conversation and if he's going to continue to act that way then you don't sound compatible.

    A couple is made up of two individuals with a shared bond and equality in the relationship. One person doesn't simply exist to make the other person happy or protect their feelings.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by AnnieGakusei)
    One person doesn't simply exist to make the other person happy or protect their feelings.
    I'd hate to be in a relationship where they don't want to make each other happy or protect each other lol.
    • TSR Support Team
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Your profile. Your choice. Most people I know don't have their partners in their profile pictures either.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    lmaoooo it's a picture ffs, tell him he's overreacting
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Kids these days......smh
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooool. What a reaction. My sister doesn't even have facebook or any social media at all

    Why don't you use a facebook cover photo of both of you to compromise?
    I don't like cover pictures with faces in them. I suggested putting our pictures together in my 'Featured Photos' box so that it could still be seen that I have a bf for anyone interested in that bit of information, but then he twists it and asks me why I want a single picture 'so bad'.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. We were long distance until this month when we finally moved into the same city. Until now I've had him in my profile pictures on WhatsApp and Facebook because, in all honesty, I was super excited about having a new guy in my life and I just found it cute.

    Now I don't think there is much point to it, we see each other every day anyway so I don't get anything out of having him in my profile picture. It's actually confusing to have two people representing the profile for one person. I have a foreign, unisex sounding name so I had people refer to me as 'he' a few times, thinking it was him that they were talking to. Most importantly I really don't like the idea that now there is an absolute rule that my profile pictures all have to have him in them.

    So I changed it to a solo picture of me to see how he responds. I even made it hidden from timeline so that it would be a quiet change without anyone thinking we argued or broke up. He said he was deeply offended by it and removed all of pictures with me from his timeline. When I said removing me like that is actually akin to a breakup he said he doesn't care and it's all or nothing for him, I am not entitled to a presence on his profile if I don't have him in my profile picture.

    Honestly now I wish I never started this tradition in the first place because he takes it the wrong way. In his defence, most people on his list who have SOs do seem to put profile pictures together 90% of the time. He thinks I am trying to act single if I don't have him in my profile picture since all those with bfs/gfs do have it.
    sounds like the type of guy to get pretty jealous quite easily. Hate these guys. This is the beginning of a toxic, possesive and dare i say, immature behaviour which just surmount to a **** ton of problems. Just tell him, look I don't need you in every single picture I ever possess for us to prove we're in a relationship. People already know that ****, we don't need constant approval. Just be glad that I'm taking a picture of just myself and not with someone else, okay? Otherwise i suggest calling off the relationship altogether as these are early warnings, OP. Best of luck x
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't like cover pictures with faces in them. I suggested putting our pictures together in my 'Featured Photos' box so that it could still be seen that I have a bf for anyone interested in that bit of information, but then he twists it and asks me why I want a single picture 'so bad'.
    Ask him why he's being such a child? lol
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    You are 2 people, not 1. Never forget that. Be yourself and don’t let him tell u what to do. He sounds insecure and possessive as a result.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    Ask him why he's being such a child? lol
    I already did. He says being with him necessiates a profile picture together, and that I shall either take it or leave it. Yeah I'm serious.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by MADMANMALIK)
    You are 2 people, not 1. Never forget that. Be yourself and don’t let him tell u what to do. He sounds insecure and possessive as a result.
    We see each other as soulmates and do many things together, but I am not willing to give up all my friends or personal interests for his sake.

    Just out of interest, would you think a couple argued if you saw one of them change from a couple profile picture to a solo picture?
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I already did. He says being with him necessiates a profile picture together, and that I shall either take it or leave it. Yeah I'm serious.
    What an idiot. He's obviously bluffing to force you to change your picture. I would leave him. When people start playing mind games I always take them literally and leave them when they're trying to do bluffs like that. Teaches them not to do it.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    Honestly OP only two types of people would act this way, and I wouldn't want to date either of them:

    1) 12 year olds
    2) emotionally controlling/abusive guys

    Get rid.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We see each other as soulmates and do many things together, but I am not willing to give up all my friends or personal interests for his sake.

    Just out of interest, would you think a couple argued if you saw one of them change from a couple profile picture to a solo picture?
    The argument would be pity and suggestive of a toxic relationship. I can sense he loves you but lacks some level of emotional intelligence.
    He wants to be in in your profile pic to make sure everyone can see you are together.
    But showing off love and marking your girl as territory like that is a very primitive instinct.
    But i guess humans are humans.
    People at TSR will hate your bf because he isnt perfect (no one is). So ppl will still call him a ****.

    However, if you love him. Gotta deal with imperfections and compromise. Good luck with tour bf
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We see each other as soulmates and do many things together, but I am not willing to give up all my friends or personal interests for his sake.

    Just out of interest, would you think a couple argued if you saw one of them change from a couple profile picture to a solo picture?
    You shouldn't have to compromise you are. What is special in a relationship is having two different people. You can do things together but you can be two separate people too.

    I don't see why it is important to have couple profile photos. It is just a photo. I don't do it and lots of my friends are the same. I would rather focus on the relationship rather than something little like a profile picture. I wouldn't think you had problems if one of you changed it to a solo picture.

    Why not keep some social media profile pictures of the two of you, but other pictures solo? This should keep him happy but also giving you the freedom to post your own photos that you like.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by MADMANMALIK)
    The argument would be pity and suggestive of a toxic relationship. I can sense he loves you but lacks some level of emotional intelligence.
    He wants to be in in your profile pic to make sure everyone can see you are together.
    But showing off love and marking your girl as territory like that is a very primitive instinct.
    But i guess humans are humans.
    People at TSR will hate your bf because he isnt perfect (no one is). So ppl will still call him a ****.

    However, if you love him. Gotta deal with imperfections and compromise. Good luck with tour bf
    Of course he loves but he also has a tendency to be overly possessive and distrusting. I'm not gonna lie, I have done some stuff to him that people would advise him to leave me over if he posted about them here. However, when it comes to jealousy I am able to suppress my primal instincts really well. Even when he developed a crush on a classmate I was able to keep my cool until he openly admitted to it, even though I was suspecting it for a long time.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by cheesecakelove)
    You shouldn't have to compromise you are. What is special in a relationship is having two different people. You can do things together but you can be two separate people too.

    I don't see why it is important to have couple profile photos. It is just a photo. I don't do it and lots of my friends are the same. I would rather focus on the relationship rather than something little like a profile picture. I wouldn't think you had problems if one of you changed it to a solo picture.

    Why not keep some social media profile pictures of the two of you, but other pictures solo? This should keep him happy but also giving you the freedom to post your own photos that you like.
    It was never important for me and I didn't expect him to return the favour when I did it on my profile, it was nice that he did but by no means mandatory. Now if I change my picture he not only removes his but also removes all of our photos from his profile.

    I actually like posting pictures with him on my profile, I just don't like this arbitrary requirement he came up with.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    He can just deal with it
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 10, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Did TEF Bronze Award affect your UCAS choices?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.