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    (Original post by fallen_acorns)
    Its a problem that has a solution.. but its just a solution many would be uncomfortable with.

    I live in China.. the problems of behavior out here, especially sexual are tiny compared to the UK.
    Whoah, whoah, whoah... I think it's important we get rid of that particular belief right now.

    I was interviewed for a position with a school in Harbin, China which I decided not to take and the reason for this is:

    During the interview, the headmaster said to me, "Okay, and just so you're aware... We have a policy against our teachers dating our students."

    I paused and said, "Is it really something that has happened enough that it needs to come up in conversation? This is a middle school. The oldest girls you have are 14. I would assume that would be police involvement time. Because that's gross."

    and I was told that it had happened enough that they had to create the policy itself and that it had been a problem several times in the past.

    So, yeah... I didn't take that job because that was gross and I wouldn't want to work with people like that.

    China has some wonderful attributes with incredible people, great history et al. But they do have issues.
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    Children are sexualised at a much younger age now.
    Having access to pornography easily at such a young age contributes to how they view each other
    We are not pieces of meat to be used.
    Giving youngster self respect and good self esteem enables them to make better judgments regarding sexual activity
    Teaching them to say no and limiting their opportunities for sexual activity does not turn them into nymphomaniacs at university as has been suggested. Instead it gives them the opportunity to make the best choices for them
    Sex nowadays is such a throwaway activity that people are pressured in to things they don’t want to do and aren’t ready for because they think it’s normal
    A pre teen with access to porn etc gives them a skewed view of a healthy sexual relationship and they lack the judgement when it comes to their peers
    Grabbing/molesting the opposite sex is not appropriate.
    It is probably more prevalent now than in previous generations but we shouldn’t mistake healthy childish exploration with abuse
    I really don’t know the answer
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    (Original post by Robby2312)
    That's not true.Most boys have watched porn and you don't see the majority of boys becoming rapists or sexual offenders.Its nothing to do with porn. That's just what right wing media publications and certain feminists would have you believe.Porn has as much to do with sexual offences as violent video games have to do with mass shootings.In short very little.Otherwise mass shooting would be a hell of a lot more common.
    I didn't say all boys do it. I said there is evidence it has an effect. Do you not understand the difference?
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    (Original post by Robby2312)
    That's not true.Most boys have watched porn and you don't see the majority of boys becoming rapists or sexual offenders.Its nothing to do with porn. That's just what right wing media publications and certain feminists would have you believe.Porn has as much to do with sexual offences as violent video games have to do with mass shootings.In short very little.Otherwise mass shooting would be a hell of a lot more common.
    Girls watch porn just as much as boys most of them don't grownup because sex offenders ever.
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    (Original post by yudothis)
    I didn't say all boys do it. I said there is evidence it has an effect. Do you not understand the difference?
    If it has an effect and most boys watch porn then there should be a much greater proportion of sexual offenders.Porn is incredibly prevalent today much more so than in the past.The proportion of rapists seems to have remained pretty much the same though.Where is the evidence that it has an effect? People are making a connection where there is none.People looking at images on a screen does not translate automatically in sexual violence. That's just normal human attraction.
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    (Original post by looloo2134)
    In China baby girls are sometime left in the road to die also in Chinese children homes are full of girls.
    what does that have to do with my post?

    Its a huge problem with the 1 child policy - but no where did I mention that?

    (also the 1 child policy is now over)
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    (Original post by ThatOldGuy)
    Whoah, whoah, whoah... I think it's important we get rid of that particular belief right now.

    I was interviewed for a position with a school in Harbin, China which I decided not to take and the reason for this is:

    During the interview, the headmaster said to me, "Okay, and just so you're aware... We have a policy against our teachers dating our students."

    I paused and said, "Is it really something that has happened enough that it needs to come up in conversation? This is a middle school. The oldest girls you have are 14. I would assume that would be police involvement time. Because that's gross."

    and I was told that it had happened enough that they had to create the policy itself and that it had been a problem several times in the past.

    So, yeah... I didn't take that job because that was gross and I wouldn't want to work with people like that.

    China has some wonderful attributes with incredible people, great history et al. But they do have issues.
    why were you surprised? Every UK school I have worked at has had a policy against staff having inappropriate relationships with students. Obviously its also against the law in both countries.

    It seems like just a normal warning for me - especially with the number of western guys who fetishize Chinese girls coming over.

    Shame you didn't come to Harbin - its a lovely city, if you can put up with 6 month long freezing winters. I used to live there, and I still live close by these days.
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    (Original post by fallen_acorns)
    why were you surprised? Every UK school I have worked at has had a policy against staff having inappropriate relationships with students. Obviously its also against the law in both countries.

    It seems like just a normal warning for me - especially with the number of western guys who fetishize Chinese girls coming over.

    Shame you didn't come to Harbin - its a lovely city, if you can put up with 6 month long freezing winters. I used to live there, and I still live close by these days.
    Because in the UK, it's called 'Safeguarding children' and it's a big deal. The way this was brought up sounded more like guidelines and 'policy' than a hard rule.

    It makes the news when a teacher in the UK engages in inappropriate actions with a pupil, as well it should because it is terrible. In China, it does not.

    But I do agree that expat ESL teachers do seem to have an issue with being creeps. There are a disproportionate number of them who are.
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    (Original post by Sammylou40)
    Children are sexualised at a much younger age now.
    Having access to pornography easily at such a young age contributes to how they view each other
    We are not pieces of meat to be used.
    Giving youngster self respect and good self esteem enables them to make better judgments regarding sexual activity
    Teaching them to say no and limiting their opportunities for sexual activity does not turn them into nymphomaniacs at university as has been suggested. Instead it gives them the opportunity to make the best choices for them
    Sex nowadays is such a throwaway activity that people are pressured in to things they don’t want to do and aren’t ready for because they think it’s normal
    A pre teen with access to porn etc gives them a skewed view of a healthy sexual relationship and they lack the judgement when it comes to their peers
    Grabbing/molesting the opposite sex is not appropriate.
    It is probably more prevalent now than in previous generations but we shouldn’t mistake healthy childish exploration with abuse
    I really don’t know the answer
    I think there should be a harder punishment for rape or forced sexual activity among children.

    I watched the documentary from the OP's link and a girl accused a boy of repeatedly forcing his hand up her skirt. The boy was given a time-out by the teacher. Can you imagine?

    This continued for a while until the young girl began to feel unsafe with destroyed confidence from the boy's bullying taunts about the girl not willing to participate in such activity. Unfortunately, the girl did not tell her parents until she got raped by said boy.

    Now, imagine if this was a teacher or an older person i.e. 16+? That is the end.

    My opinion is that society has gotten to soft on such activities. We view these sorts of things as "kids just being kids". Parents are trying to be friends with their children rather than being parents. Someone on this thread even said that they used to "play around" and it was no big deal.

    It will sound harsh but i am in favour of bringing in more discipline. Sending these sexual offenders to juvenile cells and having a zero-tolerance approach.

    If it was my child, who was a victim of such acts, i will treat the kid like an adult and ruin his face, since he decided to be an adult.

    If it was my son doing it, that is the end. I did not teach him that, so he must be ready to face the consequences.
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    (Original post by ThatOldGuy)
    Because in the UK, it's called 'Safeguarding children' and it's a big deal. The way this was brought up sounded more like guidelines and 'policy' than a hard rule.

    It makes the news when a teacher in the UK engages in inappropriate actions with a pupil, as well it should because it is terrible. In China, it does not.

    But I do agree that expat ESL teachers do seem to have an issue with being creeps. There are a disproportionate number of them who are.
    your definetly right that in general china does not have the same level of condemnation towards pedophilia as in the UK.

    I do think it will come, they are just a few generations behind on that front. Similarly to how in the UK 20-30 years ago 'old pervy dave' from down the street was more acceptable, whereas now (rightly so) he would have the police round his door should he do anything..

    For me its a slightly separate issue from the Kid on kid sexual problems that the OP was about though. Personally I would always take the UK's freedom over China's well-behaved workers, but I do find China to be a great example when those who wish for kids to have no sexuality and no access to X/Y/Z - to show them that yes it can be achieved, but present them with reality of what its like to be a kid in a country like that, and ask the question of 'is it worth it?'
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    (Original post by Robby2312)
    If it has an effect and most boys watch porn then there should be a much greater proportion of sexual offenders.Porn is incredibly prevalent today much more so than in the past.The proportion of rapists seems to have remained pretty much the same though.Where is the evidence that it has an effect? People are making a connection where there is none.People looking at images on a screen does not translate automatically in sexual violence. That's just normal human attraction.
    I just provided you with evidence...

    Also, I could link you with more and more articles if you want, but it's nothing a quick Google on your part wouldn't do. Sorry but your last two sentences just show your ignorance on this topic.
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    (Original post by looloo2134)
    Girls watch porn just as much as boys most of them don't grownup because sex offenders ever.
    That is because women do that much less anyway, and because of the type of porn out there...if anything girls will act like the girls in porn, i.e. submissive and boys will act like the men in porn, i.e. violent and dominant.
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    My school definitely had some gropings going on back in ye olde times. Large amount of girls tended to shrug it off tho and the lads eventually grew out of the habit, so I'm not entirely sure where you'd want to draw the line between weird childish bs and criminal sex offences

    Side note tho, there's some mad **** in that article:
    The youngest was a four-year-old accused of attacking another boy, aged five, in Northumbria.
    Like how does this even...what?

    (Original post by looloo2134)
    Girls watch porn just as much as boys most of them don't grownup because sex offenders ever.
    tbf girls in porn tend not to be particularly dominant outside of lesbian scenes, so if you're working under the assumption that kids are learning this stuff from porn then it'd stand to reason that girls wouldn't learn to become gropers/sex offenders, but rather learn to just sorta take it.

    Whether that's actually the case or not I don't know, but the argument's valid to a degree.
 
 
 
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