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HELP! Should I remain faithful or break it off? Watch

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    I have been dating this cute, loving girl for about 6 months. I am 21 and she's 20. I took her virginity so I'm her first love. She says she only wants one love and that she wants to be with me forever. When we eat out, she usually pays and she bought about 400$ worth of clothes around my birthday for me.

    The problem I come up with in this relationship is that I have a hard time trusting her at times. She is extremely stubborn when she doesn't feel like doing something. In my heart, when she doesnt listen to me, it makes me not trust her. I tell her to do a simple task and if she doesn't feel like doing it, she will fight and nag and pout until I give her an ultimatum. I can't believe I have to take things so far just to make her listen to me sometimes. She tells me that "she's not a dog for you to command", but I simply asked her to come into the store with me? (Apparently there were people that she knew in the store that she didn't want to see her).

    Another related issue is that she cares way too much about what other people think about her. When she wasn't wearing her contacts and was wearing glasses, she forced me to not walk anywhere near college kids. She even yanked me into a puddle because I was walking too close to some college kids near a bar.
    When we fight I always threaten to break up with her. And we go back and forth through that. She always end up saying sorry and that she loves me and that she will try to change, but I haven't seen much change. Just the other week, I just told her I wanted to break up because I need to finish my bachelors degree and that I didn't have time to invest in a relationship when I have to focus on my Engineering degree, she refused and said "many people still have relationships during college and do well in school" Another incident when I told her I wanted to break up she said that "she would kill herself if I broke up with her" I even told my dad about the situation. and he said not to break up with her because she "gave me everything" according to his eyes. I just don't know what to do with this relationship. I am happy at times but a lot of times I worry about this relationship destroying my future.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have been dating this cute, loving girl for about 6 months. I am 21 and she's 20. I took her virginity so I'm her first love. She says she only wants one love and that she wants to be with me forever. When we eat out, she usually pays and she bought about 400$ worth of clothes around my birthday for me.

    The problem I come up with in this relationship is that I have a hard time trusting her at times. She is extremely stubborn when she doesn't feel like doing something. In my heart, when she doesnt listen to me, it makes me not trust her. I tell her to do a simple task and if she doesn't feel like doing it, she will fight and nag and pout until I give her an ultimatum. I can't believe I have to take things so far just to make her listen to me sometimes. She tells me that "she's not a dog for you to command", but I simply asked her to come into the store with me? (Apparently there were people that she knew in the store that she didn't want to see her).

    Another related issue is that she cares way too much about what other people think about her. When she wasn't wearing her contacts and was wearing glasses, she forced me to not walk anywhere near college kids. She even yanked me into a puddle because I was walking too close to some college kids near a bar.
    When we fight I always threaten to break up with her. And we go back and forth through that. She always end up saying sorry and that she loves me and that she will try to change, but I haven't seen much change. Just the other week, I just told her I wanted to break up because I need to finish my bachelors degree and that I didn't have time to invest in a relationship when I have to focus on my Engineering degree, she refused and said "many people still have relationships during college and do well in school" Another incident when I told her I wanted to break up she said that "she would kill herself if I broke up with her" I even told my dad about the situation. and he said not to break up with her because she "gave me everything" according to his eyes. I just don't know what to do with this relationship. I am happy at times but a lot of times I worry about this relationship destroying my future.
    You are correct.

    She is controlling and hysterical. I for example wear contacts and prefer wearing them to glasses, so I know it doesn't justify her treating you like that. She is obsessed with you and that is not healthy. Money wise if you stay with her but don't trust her and she keeps giving you money then that's even worst, because you would be taking advantage.

    If it was a healthy relationship then you wouldn't have to suggest to break up just to keep her from interfering with your studies, because she shouldn't be doing that anyway.

    I would break up because she's not in the right state of mind, but I would go a step further and call the NHS/hospital suicide line because you don't know if what she is saying is in the moment or fact. I've had a friend that was talking to a girl on the phone that was just like your GF. The girl would become hysterical every time my friend didn't talk to her for a period of time and went as far as to send messages at 5 in the morning asking why she is not getting an answer, (keep in mind they also talked till 11 in the night). This is because she saw my friend as an object of her affection, not an individual.

    Trust me she is not right in the head threatening you with suicide if you leave. Call the help line and break up for both your sanity, and hers.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have been dating this cute, loving girl for about 6 months. I am 21 and she's 20. I took her virginity so I'm her first love. She says she only wants one love and that she wants to be with me forever. When we eat out, she usually pays and she bought about 400$ worth of clothes around my birthday for me.

    The problem I come up with in this relationship is that I have a hard time trusting her at times. She is extremely stubborn when she doesn't feel like doing something. In my heart, when she doesnt listen to me, it makes me not trust her. I tell her to do a simple task and if she doesn't feel like doing it, she will fight and nag and pout until I give her an ultimatum. I can't believe I have to take things so far just to make her listen to me sometimes. She tells me that "she's not a dog for you to command", but I simply asked her to come into the store with me? (Apparently there were people that she knew in the store that she didn't want to see her).

    Another related issue is that she cares way too much about what other people think about her. When she wasn't wearing her contacts and was wearing glasses, she forced me to not walk anywhere near college kids. She even yanked me into a puddle because I was walking too close to some college kids near a bar.
    When we fight I always threaten to break up with her. And we go back and forth through that. She always end up saying sorry and that she loves me and that she will try to change, but I haven't seen much change. Just the other week, I just told her I wanted to break up because I need to finish my bachelors degree and that I didn't have time to invest in a relationship when I have to focus on my Engineering degree, she refused and said "many people still have relationships during college and do well in school" Another incident when I told her I wanted to break up she said that "she would kill herself if I broke up with her" I even told my dad about the situation. and he said not to break up with her because she "gave me everything" according to his eyes. I just don't know what to do with this relationship. I am happy at times but a lot of times I worry about this relationship destroying my future.
    Her stubborn-ness is normal. I am strong-willed like that. She is standing her ground in a way. You may want to be someone who's abit more gentle, because I think you writing that means you are not able to handle that part of her.

    However, everything else is unhealthy. When you threaten to break up with her, well thats asking for trouble. If you want to break up, break up, stop using words, use action instead, because that seems abit like emotional blackmail. This seems like a love/hate relationship, trust me get out, ain't no good for either of you.
    In regards the female, well what she is saying is not good either, seems you are both doing similar things - emotional blackmail
    A: I'll break up with you
    B: I'll commit suicide
    - seems a bit childish to be honest.

    All the other stuff you said about her projects that she has not fully learned to love herself and accept herself. She takes on what others think rather than what she thinks about herself.. - you could may be say this to her... or maybe not?

    As for the situation - you have to take responsibility for your actions as does she. Don't engage in cheap threats.
 
 
 
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