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Should I breakup with my girlfriend? or? Watch

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    I have been dating this cute, loving girl for about 6 months. I am 21 and she's 20. I took her virginity so I'm her first love. She says she only wants one love and that she wants to be with me forever. She also says she will never cheat on me and that she is from an eastern traditional country so she is more conservative (but she gave me her virginity after 2 months of knowing me). When we eat out, she usually pays and she bought about 400$ worth of clothes around my birthday for me.

    The problem I come up with in this relationship is that I have a hard time trusting her at times. She is extremely stubborn when she doesn't feel like doing something. In my heart, when she doesnt listen to me, it makes me not trust her. I tell her to do a simple task and if she doesn't feel like doing it, she will fight and nag and pout until I give her an ultimatum. I can't believe I have to take things so far just to make her listen to me sometimes. She tells me that "she's not a dog for you to command", but I simply asked her to come into the store with me? (Apparently there were people that she knew in the store that she didn't want to see her).

    Another related issue is that she cares way too much about what other people think about her. When she wasn't wearing her contacts and was wearing glasses, she forced me to not walk anywhere near college kids. She even yanked me into a puddle because I was walking too close to some college kids near a bar.

    When we fight I always threaten to break up with her. And we go back and forth through that. She always end up saying sorry and that she loves me and that she will try to change, but I haven't seen much change. Just the other week, I just told her I wanted to break up because I need to finish my bachelors degree and that I didn't have time to invest in a relationship when I have to focus on my Engineering degree, she refused and said "many people still have relationships during college and do well in school" Another incident when I told her I wanted to break up she said that "she would kill herself if I broke up with her" I even told my dad about the situation. and he said not to break up with her because she "gave me everything" according to his eyes. I just don't know what to do with this relationship. I am happy at times but a lot of times I worry about this relationship destroying my future.
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    (Original post by rickynicks)
    I have been dating this cute, loving girl for about 6 months. I am 21 and she's 20. I took her virginity so I'm her first love. She says she only wants one love and that she wants to be with me forever. She also says she will never cheat on me and that she is from an eastern traditional country so she is more conservative (but she gave me her virginity after 2 months of knowing me). When we eat out, she usually pays and she bought about 400$ worth of clothes around my birthday for me.

    The problem I come up with in this relationship is that I have a hard time trusting her at times. She is extremely stubborn when she doesn't feel like doing something. In my heart, when she doesnt listen to me, it makes me not trust her. I tell her to do a simple task and if she doesn't feel like doing it, she will fight and nag and pout until I give her an ultimatum. I can't believe I have to take things so far just to make her listen to me sometimes. She tells me that "she's not a dog for you to command", but I simply asked her to come into the store with me? (Apparently there were people that she knew in the store that she didn't want to see her).

    Another related issue is that she cares way too much about what other people think about her. When she wasn't wearing her contacts and was wearing glasses, she forced me to not walk anywhere near college kids. She even yanked me into a puddle because I was walking too close to some college kids near a bar.

    When we fight I always threaten to break up with her. And we go back and forth through that. She always end up saying sorry and that she loves me and that she will try to change, but I haven't seen much change. Just the other week, I just told her I wanted to break up because I need to finish my bachelors degree and that I didn't have time to invest in a relationship when I have to focus on my Engineering degree, she refused and said "many people still have relationships during college and do well in school" Another incident when I told her I wanted to break up she said that "she would kill herself if I broke up with her" I even told my dad about the situation. and he said not to break up with her because she "gave me everything" according to his eyes. I just don't know what to do with this relationship. I am happy at times but a lot of times I worry about this relationship destroying my future.
    That sounds toxic as ****.
    If I were you I'd personally drop her, sounds like she's trying to control you with her suicide threats. Also, the fact she spent that much money can be taken as either good or bad.. good as in it could be a sign she REALLY likes your but bad as in she cant handle money, (the second part could become a big problem later on in life).

    In the end it's up to you but one bit of advice: If you're going to break up with her, give her all the clothes back, say you're sorry, let her down EXTREMELY gently considering her suicide threats, you don't want her to kill herself. Say that you care about her, you can talk and be friends with her etc. and possibly give her a phone number for a suicide prevention line and/or a number for a mental health support charity or something. I know of a situation like this and it didn't end well. Tell her parents or anyone that's living with her. (that part's very important as they'd possibly hurt themselves otherwise.) Tell her that you can also maybe get back together after you've completed your education that'll help put her down more softly also.

    The fact she's acting in this way could lead to problems for you as well, get new locks just in case, don't open the door without checking who it is as she may want to harm you. Also, try breaking up with her in a public place, possibly as if she lashes out then others can step in. (Maybe go out to dinner and then when its over go out and then say that you want to break up or something, remember do it as gently and softly as you possibly can considering how she's acting and what she's saying)
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    (Original post by Relentas)
    That sounds toxic as ****.
    If I were you I'd personally drop her, sounds like she's trying to control you with her suicide threats. Also, the fact she spent that much money can be taken as either good or bad.. good as in it could be a sign she REALLY likes your but bad as in she cant handle money, (the second part could become a big problem later on in life).

    In the end it's up to you but one bit of advice: If you're going to break up with her, give her all the clothes back, say you're sorry, let her down EXTREMELY gently considering her suicide threats, you don't want her to kill herself. Say that you care about her, you can talk and be friends with her etc. and possibly give her a phone number for a suicide prevention line and/or a number for a mental health support charity or something. I know of a situation like this and it didn't end well. Tell her parents or anyone that's living with her. (that part's very important as they'd possibly hurt themselves otherwise.) Tell her that you can also maybe get back together after you've completed your education that'll help put her down more softly also.

    The fact she's acting in this way could lead to problems for you as well, get new locks just in case, don't open the door without checking who it is as she may want to harm you. Also, try breaking up with her in a public place, possibly as if she lashes out then others can step in. (Maybe go out to dinner and then when its over go out and then say that you want to break up or something, remember do it as gently and softly as you possibly can considering how she's acting and what she's saying)
    Thank you for your response. She only threaten me once with that remark. Other times she would say, "If you want to break up then fine, whatever you want to do"
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    (Original post by rickynicks)
    Thank you for your response. She only threaten me once with that remark. Other times she would say, "If you want to break up then fine, whatever you want to do"
    Alright, so it's not as bad then. If you love her then stay with her, if you are too worried about your future or don't love her then break up if you'd like to, preferably face to face and again, give the stuff back that she bought. Don't break up in the heat of an argument, still do it softly and calmly in a reasonably public place just in case and still mention the fact she mentioned suicide to her family, just so they help her through the break up more. Good luck in whatever path you choose.
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    break up with her. she’s a leech
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    If this is your relationship six months into it..imagine what it will be like 6 years later. Or when you are living together.
 
 
 
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