I agree with Notoriety's comment. In your penultimate paragraph you try to refer specifically to the law but what you say makes very little sense. There is no Article 2 of the Human Rights Act (you're confusing the Human Rights Act 1998 with the European Convention on Human Rights), and Art 2 of the Convention in any case doesn't include, as you seem to suggest, some definitive list of acts that count as 'taking away life'. And of course, the question asks you when abortion should be lawful - so the current legal position is not really relevant anyway.
For the rest, you make some good points and have some useful illustrations but the whole thing is rather lacking in structure. You need to explain at the outset what exactly you're going to argue, and then make it clear in each paragraph how the point you make or the example you refer to advances your argument.