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My mental health issues are taking over my life watch

    • Thread Starter

    A couple of months ago I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and on top of that depression/anxiety; for a long time I knew something was and it's only been very recently that I've managed to pluck up the courage and seek help for it.
    Currently at the moment, it's just a lot of question asking from the mental health team I visit from time to time and sorting out medication for myself (which is taking quite a while), but at the moment I just feel like I'm going round and round in circles constantly & I'm honestly starting to get so fed up with myself.

    More often than not, I have no motivation whatsoever, I feel so pessimistic and down pretty much 90% of the time and now it's starting to affect not only my everyday activities but the people around me. I've been fortunate enough to meet an amazing individual who I can proudly say I am indeed in love with, and deep down I know that he's making a positive impact on me in some ways but given the nature of my current mental health status - it will eventually destroy the relationship I have with him.

    It's fair to say that the pair of us recently have gone through a wobbly patch; long story short - he's been seeing other women every now and then, not for any kind of sexual interaction, he has promised me that he hasn't gone off and slept with any of them, he's just told me it's as plain and simple as meeting up with them for cups of coffee etc and that they come and go. Obviously this hurt me A LOT and with my mental health issues, it just makes everything a hell of a lot worse. We have spoken about this issue for hours on end and it has been resolved. He has told me something rather distressing which has made me realise that he is a good individual & I should give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't want to say a lot as to why I've given him the benefit of the doubt but it is a long the lines of growing up in an environment where relationships aren't valued and so forth in the past, and in theory this has shaped who he is today.

    My trust for him is slightly dented yes, and he can only do what he can do try and give me reason to trust him and not doubt his actions and every move - but this is very difficult for me because of suffering with the mental health issues. I am constantly anxious, scared, nervous, negative, not so confident - just all round unhappiness. The way my mind thinks and works, and the way I perceive things is going to push him away, he is going to get fed up with me moaning, and worrying and this that and the other with him and he'll end up leaving me. Even though I deny anything to do with me thinking about him cheating or being distrusting etc. when he goes out for the day and so on he always knows it's on my mind and I'm thinking about it and making myself worked up. I do have a tendency to blow things out of proportion and over think things to the point it causes anxiety attacks.

    It is all very well getting help from a mental health team but I need to do my part in recovering and just turning all this negativity and unnecessary drama in my head into something a little more relaxed, calm and positive. I want this relationship to work, I am really fond of this man and he truly means the world to me and I do not want my mental health to take over my relationship with him.

    I was wondering if anybody had any advice to give me in terms of dealing with intense negative feelings and emotions within the relationship and how turn my relationship into a positive, happy and healthy one.

    I also apologise about how long this is, I've tried to be as brief as I can haha.

    honestly i have no advice- i am undiagnosed as i havent even been 2 therapy but i know that i let negative thoughts etc consume me in a relationship and all i can say is dont let that happen to u.
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