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Girlfriend going for brunch - advice? Watch

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    I've been working abroad the last few weeks solid so haven't been home, my girlfriend has told me one of her old uni housemates is coming to town that she hasn't seen in a while and she's going for brunch with him to catch up, just the two of them.
    Is it wrong of me to be really uneasy about this? She had a boyfriend all through uni who I think was really good friends with this lad too.
    I know it's not right, but I've been cheated on before so situations like this make me a little uneasy but I try to trust in her. She's never gone for food just her and a lad before, and it's worse that I've been away a couple of weeks so we've not seen each other. With another week to go.
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    I forgot to mention this old housemate is male, hence being uneasy and he seems to have specifically just messaged my girlfriend asking if she wants to go out when he's back.
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    ...what on earth do you want advice about ??????
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    There is nothing to be worried about and I think you're overreacting massively. My best friend is the opposite gender and we go out for coffee and a gossip all of the time, we're both seeing someone else and we're just friends. There's nothing wrong or strange about that. If she was doing anything untoward, I very much doubt she'd be that blatant about it. You need to trust her more to strengthen your relationship, it will crumble without trust at its foundation.
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    Whilst I accept you have issues with being hurt in the past, your girlfriend has never given you any doubt as to whether she is loyal to you. She has been open about everything. She was very close to her friend and they are just meeting up to eat and talk. You have nothing to worry about, they are just friends. Your girlfriend isn't the same as the girls who cheated on you.
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    (Original post by cheesecakelove)
    Whilst I accept you have issues with being hurt in the past, your girlfriend has never given you any doubt as to whether she is loyal to you. She has been open about everything. She was very close to her friend and they are just meeting up to eat and talk. You have nothing to worry about, they are just friends. Your girlfriend isn't the same as the girls who cheated on you.
    She said they aren't close friends, she lived with him for a year but hasn't really seen him since. He's just coming into town and sent her a message saying he's back if she wants to meet.
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    You have to trust your girlfriend. It won't last if you're going to get possessive and clingy every time she hangs out with another man.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She said they aren't close friends, she lived with him for a year but hasn't really seen him since. He's just coming into town and sent her a message saying he's back if she wants to meet.
    Sure, but there is still nothing to suggest there is anything more than friendship. Your girlfriend did tell you about the meeting.
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    Would your reaction be the same if she was meeting a female?

    I do remember a friend telling me (and I did hear him on the phone to her and she did ask) that his girlfriend knew we were meeting. But she has no reason not to trust him.
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    Let me be the first to tell you that there is nothing wrong with feeling uneasy about this. I can understand why you are concerned. However you must understand that there are things that you can control in life and things that you cannot control. And there is no point worrying about things that you cannot control.

    I would not recommend interfering in your gf's brunch but there are some things you need to consider (No need to answer. Just consider them in your head) that affect the likelihood of cheating before we all pass judgment that there is nothing to be worried about.

    1. How long have you known your gf?
    2. How emotionally invested are you in the relationship?
    3. How emotionally invested do you believe your gf is to the relationship?
    4. How attractive is your gf on a scale of 1 to 10?
    5. Any past history of cheating, fighting or lying with this gf? Any recent arguments or fights?
    6. How attractive or financially successful is the friend on a scale of 1 to 10?
    7. Is the friend in a relationship himself or single?
    8. How attractive/ financially successful are you on a scale of 1 to 10?
    9. Would you consider yourself better than the friend or would you say he is better than you?
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    (Original post by Inquirer)
    Let me be the first to tell you that there is nothing wrong with feeling uneasy about this. I can understand why you are concerned. However you must understand that there are things that you can control in life and things that you cannot control. And there is no point worrying about things that you cannot control.

    I would not recommend interfering in your gf's brunch but there are some things you need to consider (No need to answer. Just consider them in your head) that affect the likelihood of cheating before we all pass judgment that there is nothing to be worried about.

    1. How long have you known your gf?
    2. How emotionally invested are you in the relationship?
    3. How emotionally invested do you believe your gf is to the relationship?
    4. How attractive is your gf on a scale of 1 to 10?
    5. Any past history of cheating, fighting or lying with this gf? Any recent arguments or fights?
    6. How attractive or financially successful is the friend on a scale of 1 to 10?
    7. Is the friend in a relationship himself or single?
    8. How attractive/ financially successful are you on a scale of 1 to 10?
    9. Would you consider yourself better than the friend or would you say he is better than you?
    1. Just under a year.
    2. I would say I'm pretty invested.
    3. I would say she's very invested.
    4. To me she's a 9 or a 10 easily.
    5. No cheating, she lied to me about not wanting to meet her ex before trying to arrange a meal with him behind my back. Which she's adamant she was going to tell me about.
    6. Attractive I don't know, never seen him. He's a doctor.
    7. Unknown.
    8. I would say I'm attractive, I have a secure job with good prospects but not great pay right now.
    9. Unknown as I don't know him at all. First time he's been mentioned is this brunch.
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      Trust is key to any relationships e.g. friends and family etc.
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      If she was gonna cheat it wouldn't be over brunch! Stop overreacting.
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      (Original post by Ezisola)
      If she was gonna cheat it wouldn't be over brunch! Stop overreacting.
      I'm not expecting her to get ragged over the table by him, I'm concerned that brunch will lead elsewhere since she's not seen me in ages and I know she has a high sex drive.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      I'm not expecting her to get ragged over the table by him, I'm concerned that brunch will lead elsewhere since she's not seen me in ages and I know she has a high sex drive.
      Either you trust her or you don't, nothing we say will change that.
     
     
     
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