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Are there any chances of me getting into a 'good' university? watch

    • Thread Starter

    Hi guys, first time posting here.

    I will try to make this as uncomplicated as I can. I have a pretty messed up past and my education has suffered tremendously because of it.

    I was born in Poland, where I have stayed until I was 8. My dad was very abusive, and my mother has decided to have a 'fresh' start and undergo separation and move to Sweden. I did not know the language, and it took me a couple of months to learn it fluently and continuing my education, though it was very, very different to one in Poland. We stayed there for three years, when my mother wanted to move to UK after talking to a friend from there and taking her advice on needing another fresh start. She is a dentist, so moving was not as difficult.

    I started in year 7, but again, I did not know the language. I went to a local school, however, my mother had other plans and she transferred me to another school midway through the school year as she thought it would be 'better' for me. She was severlely depressed and has relied her happiness on me, and naturally, I have done everything I could to make her happy. If i didnt do as she said, she would go off and say how she always knows best.

    I was also a fairly good student, and I was settled but that move threw me into the whirlwind again. I had to drop my favourite subjects, and the exan boards were different. Anyway, I moved school and then my mum decided to end the separation between my dad and her, and we moved back to Poland. Needless to say, she got even more depressed and my dad got worse. He would leave us constantly, and I went to a local school in which I was abused by a teacher every day. I struggled with the grades, the language, everything, as it was so different to UK.

    Anyway, my mum started to look for work back in UK again, and we moved half a year later where I attended another school- different to the last ones as we were in a different part of the UK. I was okay in that school, but things at home were anything but good. I was settling in, but my mum had this amazing idea of transferring me to a private school, she wanted me to have a 'fresh' start- the stigma in poland is that private schools are better- some are, this one was absolute hell.

    My dad agreed to pay for it, but then three weeks later, he refused to pay anymore and left us for good on Christmas. I had to leave school yet again, this time after only attending it for three weeks. I have lost my place at the other school, and was at home for months whilst the council tried to sort me out a place at another school. It was ridiculous. On top of that, again, there was the home situation of my mother being suicidal, depressed and just overall bad.

    After months of sitting at home during year 9, I have finally found a place at an all girls school. It had one of the worst reputations but I absolutely adored it there. For the first time in a very very long time I was happy and I was doing good at school. I picked some subjects up that I never tried before but as this was in the middle of year 9 I had no choice but to drop some subjects I did before and pick some foreign ones up- though this was not a new process for me.

    I barely got adjusted and settled before my mother sold our house in poland and decided that the money would go towards my education. She has sent me back to the private school and I felt like if I declined, I would make her unhappy and I knew I was in for hell. I hated it there for the three weeks I was there but I knew that if I didn't go, I would get crapped on by her. So, I left another school and jumped on another wagon.

    I was severely, severely bullied at that school. From racist remarks, to physical bullying. By the end, I developed eating disorders, had suicide attempts, had severe anxiety and depression and my health, education deteriorated. My mother was too wrapped up in her then new boyfriend to notice. If I came home 'sad', shed complain about having to deal with so much work and crap at work, and then to top it off she had to 'deal with my moodswings'. During my time there, I was too scared to even breathe or reply to the register, it was horrible.

    Then an incident happened at the school in which I had to be taken to the hospital for and my mother finally saw the true colours of the school. I left for my final year of GCSEs to another school, a bit further away. However, by then I was severely scarred and full of depression and anxiety and still got picked on beacuse I was 'weak'. The private school has also claimed to have 'lost' 60% of my GCSE coursework and so I failed English.

    I managed to 6 GCSEs A*-C, somehow, but failed English and some science subjects. Luckily, I applied to a college which allowed me to retake both English and Science and so thats what I did for a year. I then applied for A-levels, I took English Language, Creative Writing and Psychology. Things were great. I was a top student, got straight As and was predicted straight As, however...

    My mum began growing tired of UK, and she got the idea to move to New Zealand. So, again, I had two options. Agree and make her happy, which is something I have been conditioned to by her, or say no, and have her tell me how much she hates me for it and how she has to be unhappy now when she could be happy across the world. She's very much a grass is greener on the otherside kind of person.

    We moved to New Zealand halfway through my first year of A levels and, obviously it didn't count. Upon moving here, I had to join a local High School halfway through the year and they had none of the subjects I did before. I was at a complete loss. Everything was completely different and I was going through a lot of emotions and resentment upon moving here and changing places yet again.

    The local highschool was completely crap, I have never seen worse standards for a school, and I've seen a lot of schools. I had to be home schooled. The place I live in is completely isolated and I receive no help. New Zealand has these correspondence schools and that is what I am doing right now. Last year I got a C in English and this year I'm just completely failing. Im so depressed, so tired and emotionally drained. I have zero friends here and so my mother is the only person I see. I'm 19 and I feel I am completely behind on life. I can't even work because my visa makes it illegal.

    Anyway, we're coming back to the UK. Jokes on my mother, she hates it here too. I guess karma is a bi..ch. So, having said all that, what are my chances of getting into a university? I have looked into Higher Access courses but I want to break away from my mother and I am not sure I will be able to afford it, though I know its an option. I always wanted to apply to Edinburgh, or just a good uni, but I feel like my chances of getting into anything like that are next to zero because I clearly don't have the grades.

    I know this sounds like a complete sob story, and I apologise. I just feel that background info was needed. So, if anyone has any tips, I would be absolutely thanful for anything.

    I should also mention, I was thinking of studying Psychology, or English/English Literature, or something within the creative field.

    First of all, I'm very sorry to hear you've had such a tough life. I am full of respect for you for carrying on and trying to make the best of things.
    I am also planning to study English at university. As far as the practicalities of you getting into a "good" university go, you're right that there are a few issues, but there's no reason why it can't happen. A few things I've thought of that might help are:

    1. Don't give up hope with your A-levels. If you were predicted straight As, you clearly have the potential to do very well. Prioritise your studies above all else, and don't worry how long it takes to achieve the results you need - you can always apply to uni as a mature student if it takes that long.

    2. Get in touch with a youth charity who might be able to help you take positive steps, both with your university application and your home life. Try http://www.ukyouth.org/

    3. Consider what you mean by a "good" university. Edinburgh is a Russell group university, but there are plenty of "good" universities who are not in the Russell group and might be more accessible.

    4. Discuss all this with your mother if you can. Although she seems to be very unsupportive, there is a chance that if your dad and other boyfriends are out of the picture, she might come around. If not, you might have to think about breaking free of her influence in whatever way you can, be that university, a job, an apprenticeship or anything you can support yourself with. Her influence seems to be the most important factor holding you back at the moment.

    Message me if you want to chat some more and good luck, wherever your life takes you.

    Universities will take your extremely unsettled education into account. However the very best thing you could do now, is have a 2 year stretch at one school or college, and get those A'levels. If your mum moves again, then you should stay behind to finish them. Is there any chance you could return to the college where you started studying A'levels before? Most sixth form colleges shouldn't be too phased by your age.

    Another option you might want to look into is a foundation year at university, instead of A'levels.

    Bear in mind that your confused residency over the past few years may make you an overseas student, so you need to research what your fees would be. Look at Scotland, Poland, England and New Zealand to establish your fees situation for all of them.
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