First of all, I apologise for the bad grammar and lack of punctuation in this post but I'm just writing as I feel.
Since I started college I can't seem to get rid of this feeling of "crappiness". 0 of my friends go to the same college as me (even though I have seen a few familiar faces) and I'm by myself all the time except during lessons.
I always used to be quite a confident person. I would run for things like class rep, head girl, be in the student council,etc however I've drastically lost that side to me. I applied to be a student ambassador at college and received the role. We had a meeting today at 9 and I've been overthinking it since. I didn't articulate myself as well as I would have liked. I didn't put my ideas across in an enthusiastic manner, I stuttered a lot, idk, I just didn't make the impact I wanted to. I know to most people this seems small and stupid but for me, it's everything. I've always been known as someone to be confident and bold but lately, I haven't been. I have a lot of ideas I want to put across but constant thoughts of self doubt are stopping me.
Also, I've been trying to get a part time job to pay for a few of my own things because even though it's probably all in my head, I feel as though I'm an annoying financial burden to my parents and financially they haven't been doing too well since the summer. I've been searching since June and nothing. I've had an interview but apart from that just rejection emails. What am I doing wrong? Would somebody please be able to look over my CV?
The day before yesterday I had an argument with my mum and she said some really hurtful things (which I know was said purely out of anger) and I could have shrugged it off but instead I cried afterwards for 2 hours and went to bed exhausted.
I haven't read over the previous paragraphs so I'm sorry if it was painful to read and there's a lot lot more I would like to type but I just can't get it out.
I'm not used to feeling weak. I'm not used to feeling this sensitive. What's happening to me?
Self doubt & anxiety Watch
- 11-10-2017 11:49
- 11-10-2017 11:50
You need a big hug from all of us
- 11-10-2017 11:50
oof dude that sucks
- 11-10-2017 13:19
- 11-10-2017 13:20