It's been two and a half months since I started boarding school, I am 16 and my family lives 17 hours plane ride away. I will be going home in 2 weeks and I am wondering whether I should tell my parents I want to quit. I used to love school, loved lessons, loved teachers and my friends.i left thinking there might be something better out there but now I have become depressed and have to keep tears back everyday, I fooled myself into thinking I would fit in with lots of really rich people. My family and I worked so hard to get here and I feel like I have let them down.
I obviously want to go back home but I don't want to disappoint my family and look like a failure but at the same time I want to be happy and I know that I won't be happy here.
What should I tell my parents and how should I tell them?
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- Thread Starter
- 11-10-2017 13:43
- 11-10-2017 15:03
As a 16 year old you made this decision together with your parents.
Considering that you spent only 2.5 months there, I think you need more time for adaptation in order not to feel homesick.
To my mind, when your parents put so much effort/time/money into it, than it is your obligation to try make the best out of it.
Also you said "and I know that I won't be happy here" and it means that you already programmed yourself! No matter how nice and beautiful everything will be, your thinking is "I know that I won't be happy here". It is crucial to change your perspective, so you will be able to build resilience and face stressful situations in the future.
Personally, I must admit that the first year in college waa awful, I couldn't accomodate at all. Everything would make me mad and sick (either weather or people), but I promised myself to give it a try. And, believe it or not, I started to enjoy the community, subjects, weather! Later on, I started dating and everything turned very well.
So, I suggest you to give your boarding school another try (at least a couple more months), this way you will show that you respect your parents and that you don't give up easily. Sorry, it may sound harsh, but definitely it is your decision to make.
- 27-11-2017 21:09
Hey, i am in a similar situation and its the worst... all week full on torture ! and its really hard do be optimistic about the future... My only satisfaction / relif was when after shool I chilled on with friends, on my computer or on my tv until i slept and the next day comes ! But with that routine came some drawbacks ,i never did my homework and this last year i was a bad student and now the only place that accepts me is a boarding school far away... evrything is bad about it ... But i try to be optimistic but my grades are bad and lately i have ben feelling sad... any tips... or updates on your story?
- 02-12-2017 22:57
I was literally in the same position 4yrs ago... 16, starting boarding school. I knew very quickly I hated every minute of it. Told my family I was having the best time, trying to convince myself by telling other people that I was enjoying it all. I acc never wanted to talk about school unless somebody else other than me brought it up. I felt guilty if I told them. Cried every night, tried endless times to connect with other ppl and also felt different i wasn't as rich as everybody else there (scholarship), ended up isolating myself towards the end. Despite all these feelings and other issues, I forced myself to complete the 2yrs I was to be there when I knew I wasn't happy... tbh quieting my emotions took its toll on me, i finished sixth form there with social anxiety and depression which i am currently dealing with.
I would say my situation is tends toward a worse case scenario but while you've acknowledged your feelings, I would definitely give it more time as you've just started and as well as getting used to new people, there are new surroundings too, all of which is normal to be overwhelmed btw. If it comes to the point where this starts affecting your school work badly then i would definitely let your family know.
Regardless of that, as you're going home for the holidays it may be good to make them aware of how you're feeling as i imagine any parent just wants their child to be happy and they would want to know. It's all your decision, never feel guilty about being unhappy. As long as you gave it a chance and tried your best to make it work, sometimes you just have to accept some things aren't right for you or doesn't work out. In any case it would be good to speak to someone who is able to provide more guidance, maybe a teacher you like or a counsellor there? Hope this helps!