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Living alone at uni??? Pls help! Watch

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    Alrighty, so I have been in a dilemma as to whether I should live in halls or on my own at university.

    I read this article on what it's like to 'live alone at uni' which really confirmed a lot of the things I fear about living in halls - tension between flat mates, peer pressure, passive aggressiveness and petty arguments lol.

    I wouldn't mind it if I got lucky and was blessed with some nice friendly unproblematic flatmates. But the fact is that it's random and you never really know if you're going to get along with everyone until you get there. I hear some people don't stay in touch with their first year flat mates during their 2nd and 3rd year which I think is a real shame.

    You see, my friend went to uni last year and two of her flatmates were CRACK DEALERS ⁉️⁉️This was in a Russel Group university, mind you!!! (I wonder if anyone can guess which uni it was...) I was quite surprised and don't know if I would have been capable of dealing with a situation like that myself.

    Nevertheless, I understand that there are many benefits to living in halls. You are forced to socialise and that's really great. Plus, you always have someone around to do something with which I guess is pretty cool.

    However, from what I've heard pre-drinks can get out of control and even though I do drink sometimes I don't drink with the sole aim to get black-out drunk... I just drink one or two drinks a night to loosen up a bit. My fear is that since the overwhelming culture at universities is drinking culture I might get swept up into it when I go. I'm quite weak in the sense that I give into peer pressure because I want people to think that I'm normal and I want to fit in. For this reason, it might be best to live alone and focus on my degree and only go out and only drink when I feel like it and not just because everyone else is. Do you guys understand what I mean?

    I just don't want people to think I'm weird/ have no friends. I'm a very social person and I love to go out but I also love having a little bit of privacy and not being surrounded by peer pressure which I very well might give into!!

    What do you guys think? To live or not to live alone in first year????? Hmmmm... Any opinions, advice or personal experience would be VERY much appreciated!! Cheers
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    (Original post by bananagirl17)
    Alrighty, so I have been in a dilemma as to whether I should live in halls or on my own at university.

    I read this article... ** http://yobuilder.com/4t5C ** which really confirmed a lot of the things I fear about living in halls - tension between flat mates, peer pressure, passive aggressiveness and petty arguments lol.

    I wouldn't mind it if I got really lucky and was blessed with some lovely friendly flatmates. But the fact is that it is completely random and you never really know if you're going to get along with everyone until you get there. I hear some people don't stay in touch with their first year flat mates during their 2nd and 3rd years which I think is a real shame.

    You see, my friend went to uni last year and two of her flatmates were CRACK DEALERS. This was in a Russel Group university, mind you!!! (I wonder if anyone can guess which uni it was...) I was quite surprised and don't know if I would have been capable of dealing with a situation like that myself.

    Nevertheless, I understand that there are many benefits to living in halls. You are forced to socialise and that's really great. Plus, you always have someone around to do something with which I guess is pretty cool.

    However, from what I've heard pre-drinks can get out of control and even though I do drink sometimes. I don't drink to get black-out drunk, I just drink one or two drinks a night to loosen up a bit. My fear is that since the overwhelming culture at universities is a drinking culture I might get swept up into it when I go. I'm quite weak in the sense that I will give into peer pressure because I want people to think that I'm normal and I want to fit in. For this reason, it might be best to live alone and focus on my degree and only go out and drink when I feel like it and not just because everyone else is. Do you guys understand what I mean?

    I just don't want people to think I'm weird/ have no friends. I'm a very social person and I love to go out but I also like having a little bit of privacy and not being surrounded by peer pressure which I very well might give into!!

    What do you guys think? To live or not to live alone in first year????? Hmmmm... Any opinions, advice or personal experience would be VERY much appreciated!! Cheers
    Before you start debating one or the other, consider whether you can actually afford to live on your own.
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    (Original post by jelly1000)
    Before you start debating one or the other, consider whether you can actually afford to live on your own.
    Well crap... that hadn't even crossed my mind. Thank you for bringing me back down to earth.

    At least I won't be going to uni in central London so hopefully accommodation wouldn't be tooooo expensive. Need to do some research now... Thanks again mate, you're totally right!
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    DON'T LIVE IN HALLS - IT'S A TRAP !!!!!!!!!!!!! Had the worse time of my life during first year, then spent the whole of my second year lying to everyone and telling them I had the time of my life. Hahahahaha. Trust me, everyone says to live in halls, but you'll deeply resent them when Becky, who you just met 3 weeks ago, drinks all your milk and then adamantly denies it. I'm still bitter.
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    Don't worry about it. Some uni's have special quiet rooms. The uni I went to, I chose a quiet room, and my flatmates were all sensible, quiet people like me, and we all got on fairly well, never really saw them but no tension/arguments. I withdrew for other reasons, but don't worry about it. Most uni's ask you questions beforehand to try and place you with like minded people, and in the case where you don't get on well, you can always try and switch to another flat. What your friend had happen to them sounds awful, but also sounds incredibly rare. I don't drink, but I never felt pressurised into taking part - hall reps came round to try and get you to join in, but if you said you weren't interested they were fine with that and left you alone. I lived in quite a small flat, only 6 people, so if you are concerned about stuff, the smaller the flat you can go for the better.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    DON'T LIVE IN HALLS - IT'S A TRAP !!!!!!!!!!!!! Had the worse time of my life during first year, then spent the whole of my second year lying to everyone and telling them I had the time of my life. Hahahahaha. Trust me, everyone says to live in halls, but you'll deeply resent them when Becky, who you just met 3 weeks ago, drinks all your milk and then adamantly denies it. I'm still bitter.
    LOL!!! Oh god... it's just like I thought!!! Hahaha did you guys fight over whose dirty dishes were in the sink for days? This is the kind of thing I hear happens every day in halls. So funny!! Thanks so much for replying
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    If you can't afford to live alone (most people can't to be frank, even in the cheaper cities) and don't want to go into halls. Then a shared house may be a nice compromise. There are often spare rooms going in shared houses, and you can ask about their general attitude to drinking, whether they tend to have house parties etc. So you're less likely to end up in a crap situation.

    I live in a house share right now with people I didn't know prior to moving in with (my friends all finished uni when I had a year left) and I've not had any problems. We're all quiet and stay out of each others way. Added bonus, my room is significantly cheaper than halls.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    DON'T LIVE IN HALLS - IT'S A TRAP !!!!!!!!!!!!! Had the worse time of my life during first year, then spent the whole of my second year lying to everyone and telling them I had the time of my life. Hahahahaha. Trust me, everyone says to live in halls, but you'll deeply resent them when Becky, who you just met 3 weeks ago, drinks all your milk and then adamantly denies it. I'm still bitter.
    It really depends on who you get put with. My flat mates are actually some of the nicest people I’ve met and we get along perfectly fine
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    If you can't afford to live alone (most people can't to be frank, even in the cheaper cities) and don't want to go into halls. Then a shared house may be a nice compromise. There are often spare rooms going in shared houses, and you can ask about their general attitude to drinking, whether they tend to have house parties etc. So you're less likely to end up in a crap situation.

    I live in a house share right now with people I didn't know prior to moving in with (my friends all finished uni when I had a year left) and I've not had any problems. We're all quiet and stay out of each others way. Added bonus, my room is significantly cheaper than halls.
    This is very good advice!

    But, for your first year, I would suggest trying halls. Often you can put in preferences for quiet halls. It will be loud and you definitely won't like everybody (you can always swap halls if it's too unmanageable). However, you will develop a much larger support network than if you isolate yourself, and this can be crucial in your first year. You may also meet people who you remain friends with throughout uni and after.

    What generally happens is you move into private accommodation in your second year with the people you become most friendly with in halls or on your course.
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    (Original post by Kevin Hodge)
    It really depends on who you get put with. My flat mates are actually some of the nicest people I’ve met and we get along perfectly fine
    mayne das.... REEALL GEWWWD
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    I live in Halls. If I could afford living on my own I would hesitate for one second..
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    (Original post by eden3)
    mayne das.... REEALL GEWWWD
    Thanks mayne... I feel REAL GEWD DEEP INSIDE.
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    The thing with living on your own you need to think about bills, and all that as well as the cost of food; baring in mind now the maximum student loan is just over 9000 pound well it was for this academic year might go up again in 2018, obviously you can apply for other loans/ get a job. With student halls you have all your rent included so you don't have to think about paying bills all you need to think about is the food shop.
    Luckily I am blessed with the best flat mates I could have ever asked for I'm currently sharing with 6 other girls and we all get on really well. You can normally choose preferences such as boys/girls that's all my accomondation asked for. Plus if you move into halls and you don't like your flat mates you can always ask to move flats I know my halls did that. Halls don't allow you to do drugs and anyone found doing them is kicked out straight away, honestly it's only a year if you hate it you can do something else the year after I think it;s worth it for the experience.
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    (Original post by Kevin Hodge)
    Thanks mayne... I feel REAL GEWD DEEP INSIDE.
    OH MAYNE.... das ... REEEALL GEWWWWDD.... I bet you living with some PREEETTY YOUNG THAAANGS too
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    (Original post by eden3)
    OH MAYNE.... das ... REEEALL GEWWWWDD.... I bet you living with some PREEETTY YOUNG THAAANGS too
    OH MAYNE... some of them are PRETTY YOUNG THANGS. I’m fitna go DEEP INSIDE and leave those NUTS HANGING OUT.
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    (Original post by JohnGreek)
    Living with other people is terrible if you don't have the means to talk to them without it being awkward (i.e. if they're random people who you've just met, or are Asians). The reason why Post Its and the like are so common at uni accommodation is because most people are unwilling to confront someone who they barely know until they've exhausted all other options. They'll post notes, slip them under doors, move stuff around the fridge, try to ignore the blocked sink, etc... until they break.

    If you're sharing anything with others in halls (be it toilets, a common room, a kitchen, etc), you better be lucky and hope that they respect the communal space as much as you do. Ideally, you want to minimise said communal space to a kitchen. Even agreeing on who takes out that week's garbage can be a pain.
    uh?
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    (Original post by RallySPORT)
    Don't worry about it. Some uni's have special quiet rooms. The uni I went to, I chose a quiet room, and my flatmates were all sensible, quiet people like me, and we all got on fairly well, never really saw them but no tension/arguments. I withdrew for other reasons, but don't worry about it. Most uni's ask you questions beforehand to try and place you with like minded people, and in the case where you don't get on well, you can always try and switch to another flat. What your friend had happen to them sounds awful, but also sounds incredibly rare. I don't drink, but I never felt pressurised into taking part - hall reps came round to try and get you to join in, but if you said you weren't interested they were fine with that and left you alone. I lived in quite a small flat, only 6 people, so if you are concerned about stuff, the smaller the flat you can go for the better.
    Thanks so much! This is super reassuring! I'm glad you had a good time in halls!!! Gives me a lot more hope about what to expect!
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    (Original post by Kevin Hodge)
    OH MAYNE... some of them are PRETTY YOUNG THANGS. I’m fitna go DEEP INSIDE and leave those NUTS HANGING OUT.
    oh mAYNE. You fitna CREAMPIE them and make MINI QASIM's.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    If you can't afford to live alone (most people can't to be frank, even in the cheaper cities) and don't want to go into halls. Then a shared house may be a nice compromise. There are often spare rooms going in shared houses, and you can ask about their general attitude to drinking, whether they tend to have house parties etc. So you're less likely to end up in a crap situation.

    I live in a house share right now with people I didn't know prior to moving in with (my friends all finished uni when I had a year left) and I've not had any problems. We're all quiet and stay out of each others way. Added bonus, my room is significantly cheaper than halls.
    Oh that's really interesting! Hadn't even thought about that possibility!! I'm really glad that everything turned out fine for you!! Thanks so much for your help & good luck with your final year at university!!
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    (Original post by JohnGreek)
    Living with other people is terrible if you don't have the means to talk to them without it being awkward (i.e. if they're random people who you've just met, or are Asians). The reason why Post Its and the like are so common at uni accommodation is because most people are unwilling to confront someone who they barely know until they've exhausted all other options. They'll post notes, slip them under doors, move stuff around the fridge, try to ignore the blocked sink, etc... until they break.

    If you're sharing anything with others in halls (be it toilets, a common room, a kitchen, etc), you better be lucky and hope that they respect the communal space as much as you do. Ideally, you want to minimise said communal space to a kitchen. Even agreeing on who takes out that week's garbage can be a pain.
    'Asians'

    What is wrong with you? (Rhetorical)
 
 
 
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