Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Living alone at uni??? Pls help! Watch

    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by Kevin Hodge)
    It really depends on who you get put with. My flat mates are actually some of the nicest people I’ve met and we get along perfectly fine
    Awww yay that's so good!!! Super encouraging to hear 👍🏽
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    alle
    (Original post by JohnGreek)
    Living with other people is terrible if you don't have the means to talk to them without it being awkward (i.e. if they're random people who you've just met, or are Asians). The reason why Post Its and the like are so common at uni accommodation is because most people are unwilling to confront someone who they barely know until they've exhausted all other options. They'll post notes, slip them under doors, move stuff around the fridge, try to ignore the blocked sink, etc... until they break.

    If you're sharing anything with others in halls (be it toilets, a common room, a kitchen, etc), you better be lucky and hope that they respect the communal space as much as you do. Ideally, you want to minimise said communal space to a kitchen. Even agreeing on who takes out that week's garbage can be a pain.
    My flat this year has 3 Asian females, one Polish lad and an English girl with me. We all get on very well tbh
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by GaiusBalthar)
    This is very good advice!

    But, for your first year, I would suggest trying halls. Often you can put in preferences for quiet halls. It will be loud and you definitely won't like everybody (you can always swap halls if it's too unmanageable). However, you will develop a much larger support network than if you isolate yourself, and this can be crucial in your first year. You may also meet people who you remain friends with throughout uni and after.

    What generally happens is you move into private accommodation in your second year with the people you become most friendly with in halls or on your course.
    Yeah, practically ALL my friends who are at uni are telling me to live in halls in first year because apparently I'll regret it if I don't. I like the fact that you referred to it as a "support network". I think that makes a lot of sense. I'll be living away from home for the first time so the last thing I would want to do is isolate myself.

    I'll pray I get lucky and get along with my flatmates well enough that we become like a little family hahaha that'd be cute Thanks for your advice!!!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I live in Halls. If I could afford living on my own I would hesitate for one second..
    Hi!! Thanks so much for replying! Really??? Are you having a tough time? What's it like? I hope you don't mind me asking but what are your flat mates like?? Thanks again!!
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by bananagirl17)
    Yeah, practically ALL my friends who are at uni are telling me to live in halls in first year because apparently I'll regret it if I don't. I like the fact that you referred to it as a "support network". I think that makes a lot of sense. I'll be living away from home for the first time so the last thing I would want to do is isolate myself.

    I'll pray I get lucky and get along with my flatmates well enough that we become like a little family hahaha that'd be cute Thanks for your advice!!!
    No problem at all! You can't live with 7 other people and not have clashing idiosyncrasies, but I'm sure the benefits will outweigh the negatives.

    All the best
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by GaiusBalthar)
    'Asians'

    What is wrong with you? (Rhetorical)
    Asians tend to be internationals (i.e. non UK raised), which in turn tend to a) cook a lot (hence increasing the chances of dirty dishes etc), and b) be highly uncommunicative. Communication is important for the reasons outlined further down my post.

    Glad to see the PC brigade is patrolling 24/7.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by JohnGreek)
    Asians tend to be internationals (i.e. non UK raised), which in turn tend to a) cook a lot (hence increasing the chances of dirty dishes etc), and b) be highly uncommunicative. Communication is important for the reasons outlined further down my post.

    Glad to see the PC brigade is patrolling 24/7.
    It's difficult to imagine how you don't see a problem in generalising every Asian student in the U.K. based on your limited experiences.

    My own experience of being on a course predominantly comprised of Asian students is completely opposite to yours. As is a post from another person on this thread.

    It's not about being PC, it's about not being simple.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by JohnGreek)
    Living with other people is terrible if you don't have the means to talk to them without it being awkward (i.e. if they're random people who you've just met, or are Asians). The reason why Post Its and the like are so common at uni accommodation is because most people are unwilling to confront someone who they barely know until they've exhausted all other options. They'll post notes, slip them under doors, move stuff around the fridge, try to ignore the blocked sink, etc... until they break.

    If you're sharing anything with others in halls (be it toilets, a common room, a kitchen, etc), you better be lucky and hope that they respect the communal space as much as you do. Ideally, you want to minimise said communal space to a kitchen. Even agreeing on who takes out that week's garbage can be a pain.
    Such wise words..!!! This is exactly what I imagined. To be fair, even living with family can be tough at times so imagine living with strangers (a bunch of clueless immature 20 year olds for that matter hahaha). As you say, even just sharing a kitchen can be a tricky operation.

    Really need to think this one out carefully as I don't want to deal with any unnecessary drama or stress that could've been avoided had I been brave and opted to live in my own studio flat or something along those lines.

    Would you agree that students are more likely to to find like-minded and compatible people by getting involved in clubs and societies than within their group of 5 randomly allocated flatmates? I could be wrong though...

    Anyways, thanks so much for your reply!! Really helped me out A LOT!!
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by GaiusBalthar)
    It's difficult to imagine how you don't see a problem in generalising every Asian student in the U.K. based on your limited experiences.

    My own experience of being on a course predominantly comprised of Asian students is completely opposite to yours. As is a post from another person on this thread.

    It's not about being PC, it's about not being simple.
    Not a generalisation. Please. Talking about averages =/= being deterministic and saying that x holds true for every Asian that studies or is to study in this country.

    There are fairly obvious characteristics that don't need to rely on personal experience for them to stand true for most (East) Asians who are studying in this country. These characteristics, in a word, scale, far beyond your (also anecdotal) evidence.

    These range from Asians' greater propensity to cook their own food (hence a higher chance of food residue being left around, and dirty plates being stacked in the sink), to their greater use of spices/onions in their meals than Europeans (prepare for a stinked-out fridge if your neighbours don't use bags), to their cliquing and lack of willingness to chat with people who aren't like them. Want to have a typically British social life with your flatmates (i.e. going out, pres, etc?) Don't expect much from the Asian side of the equation. They'll do their own outings, most importantly while speaking their own language.

    That's not to mention the implicit linguistic barrier created when people talk exclusively in a language different to yours - it makes them seem les readily approachable if you have a matter that you need to talk about. If it's just you dealing with multiple Asians (which you probably will be, particularly in private non-university run accommodation where groups of the same ethnicity can arrange to live together) the one-vs-many aspect of the conversation doesn't help, particularly if you want to be confrontational towards them. Try going to a group of friends to complain about something, and tell me whether their jabbering in a foreign language isn't off-putting. It all comes down to conversational imbalances.

    These characteristics create difficulties when a student flat is divided between Asians and non-Asians. I'm guessing that the same could apply to any foreign nationality that shares exclusionary characteristics.

    And yes, the degree to which this applies to individual cases will vary. There's your qualification. Some Asians will be slightly more suited to group living than others.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by JohnGreek)
    Not a generalisation. Please. Talking about averages =/= being deterministic and saying that x holds true for every Asian that studies or is to study in this country.

    There are fairly obvious characteristics that don't need to rely on personal experience for them to stand true for most (East) Asians who are studying in this country. These characteristics, in a word, scale, far beyond your (also anecdotal) evidence.

    These range from Asians' greater propensity to cook their own food (hence a higher chance of food residue being left around, and dirty plates being stacked in the sink), to their greater use of spices/onions in their meals than Europeans (prepare for a stinked-out fridge if your neighbours don't use bags), to their cliquing and lack of willingness to chat with people who aren't like them. Want to have a typically British social life with your flatmates (i.e. going out, pres, etc?) Don't expect much from the Asian side of the equation. They'll do their own outings, most importantly while speaking their own language.

    That's not to mention the implicit linguistic barrier created when people talk exclusively in a language different to yours - it makes them seem les readily approachable if you have a matter that you need to talk about. If it's just you dealing with multiple Asians (which you probably will be, particularly in private non-university run accommodation where groups of the same ethnicity can arrange to live together) the one-vs-many aspect of the conversation doesn't help, particularly if you want to be confrontational towards them. Try going to a group of friends to complain about something, and tell me whether their jabbering in a foreign language isn't off-putting. It all comes down to conversational imbalances.

    These characteristics create difficulties when a student flat is divided between Asians and non-Asians. I'm guessing that the same could apply to any foreign nationality that shares exclusionary characteristics.

    And yes, the degree to which this applies to individual cases will vary. There's your qualification. Some Asians will be slightly more suited to group living than others.
    On what basis are there 'fairly obvious' characteristics? Your exclusive experiences? Your opinion is not shared by me or by the other poster. That makes it 2 disagreeing and 1 agreeing.

    As I said, you are stating that tens of thousands of Asian students are a certain way because of your personal experience with a handful of said students. That is idiotic.

    I shared a flat with 3 Greek students in my first year. All smoked weed and it wafted into everyone's room (from outside), all ordered take away pizza at 3/4am and disturbed the flat in doing so. 2 out of 3 failed their first year. All hung out with other Greek students and spoke predominantly in their own language. All played loud music at unsociable hours.

    If I were you, I'd say all Greek students are ignorant, selfish, drug using thickos. But I wouldn't make that judgement based on a select experience I had with a certain group.

    The difficulty I have with what you have said is that whether you intended it or not you have been racist. If you lived with 3 boys from Brighton and they were all quiet gamers you wouldn't presume that all people from Brighton are the same as them. What you have done is presumed that an entire ethnic group acts exactly like the people you have met. That is clearly not the case and you have to question why you are able to make that judgement for foreign people but not for people who are based in the U.K. Are we all individual and capable of being different but no other country is the same? Seems unlikely.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by GaiusBalthar)
    On what basis are there 'fairly obvious' characteristics? Your exclusive experiences? Your opinion is not shared by me or by the other poster. That makes it 2 disagreeing and 1 agreeing.

    As I said, you are stating that tens of thousands of Asian students are a certain way because of your personal experience with a handful of said students. That is idiotic.

    I shared a flat with 3 Greek students in my first year. All smoked weed and it wafted into everyone's room (from outside), all ordered take away pizza at 3/4am and disturbed the flat in doing so. 2 out of 3 failed their first year. All hung out with other Greek students and spoke predominantly in their own language. All played loud music at unsociable hours.

    If I were you, I'd say all Greek students are ignorant, selfish, drug using thickos. But I wouldn't make that judgement based on a select experience I had with a certain group.

    The difficulty I have with what you have said is that whether you intended it or not you have been racist. If you lived with 3 boys from Brighton and they were all quiet gamers you wouldn't presume that all people from Brighton are the same as them. What you have done is presumed that an entire ethnic group acts exactly like the people you have met. That is clearly not the case and you have to question why you are able to make that judgement for foreign people but not for people who are based in the U.K. Are we all individual and capable of being different but no other country is the same? Seems unlikely.
    Actually, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that the fact that Greek people will predominantly speak amongst themselves (and go out late a lot - which is definitely true - Greek people socialise a lot later on average than English people because of the way nightclubs and pres are done in Greece) makes them less ideal flatmates than, say, people like yourself. I would probably say that that coincides with my own experiences too. The interesting thing is that what you said was perfectly compatible with the qualification I made in my earlier post: "I'm guessing that the same could apply to any foreign nationality that shares exclusionary characteristics. "

    You haven't rebutted anything I said in my previous post about how people talking in a foreign language and cliquing together makes them less approachable (and thus makes living disputes harder to resolve) in a communal setting. That much is obvious. You rather couched your attack in a veiled insult against me and the weed/gaming thing, which is such a blatant ad hom that it's trivial really to dismiss it. I'm not talking about hobbies. I'm talking about personal and ethnic habits that transcend individual particularities.

    Put simply, there's no connection between living in Brighton and being a good gamer. There is, however, an indirect connection between being a foreign student, speaking English as a second/third language, speaking a foreign language in all social settings, not appreciating or being willing to expose yourself to the (alien) English social culture, and the consequent result that this may have on your approachability by others.

    Again, averages =/= exhaustiveness. If you've been a uni student, you should be able to make simple distinctions like that.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by JohnGreek)
    Asians tend to be internationals (i.e. non UK raised), which in turn tend to a) cook a lot (hence increasing the chances of dirty dishes etc), and b) be highly uncommunicative. Communication is important for the reasons outlined further down my post.

    Glad to see the PC brigade is patrolling 24/7.
    You had some bad experiences with pots and pans, mate?
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Notorious_B.I.G.)
    You had some bad experiences with pots and pans, mate?
    Oh, not just a few...
 
 
 
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
    Useful resources
    Bizarre things students have spent their loans onThings you should budget for at uni

    Sponsored features:

    Making money from your own website

    Need some cash?

    How to make money running your own website.

    Bianca Miller, runner-up on The Apprentice

    Handle your digital footprint

    What would an employer find out about you on Google? Find out how to take control.

    Groups associated with this forum:

    View associated groups
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.