I am so confused...

Ok so basically I have a long term bf if 5 years . I met this man on a night out and it turns out he is a friend of a friend with my bf. We kissed , text and met a few times. Over a month ago I slept with him and we were meeting regularly for sex about 3 times a week ! When we were having sex it wasn't just sex we lay in bed together cuddled stayed together spoke about things we got in great! About 2 weeks ago my bf found out I cheated and attacked the boy and I had to go to hospital with him ect and ever since he is so distant we do still speak secretly but he didn't want to meet me anymore I do have feelings for him I'm so confused to what's going on.

May I also add my bf is abusive towards me this is what made me think know what I'm going to do this.

Does he like me dose he want me I can't et him out of my head