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    I really have bad social anxiety and recently Ive moved sixth forms and it was the worst decision ever. I come in everyday at the time of registration to avoid sitting in the common room as I find it intimidating seeing strange faces that I don't know. I also haven't been to lunch in three weeks maybe more , I used to hang out with this group but now I don't like them anymore so I just sit in the library. I can talk in lessons but when it's lunch since I don't have a group I just feel awkward asking people if I can go to lunch with them and if you don't ask no one will come up to you. Ive cried so many times over this. I hate it here, I wanna go back to my old skl so bad. My parents never want to listen to me and say that I need to talk to people first but it's easier said than done. I don't wanna hang out with nerdy people too because I won't click with them. I never go to the common room at all I feel like everyone's staring at me. Im literally crying as I write this , but I don't want to draw any attention.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I really have bad social anxiety and recently Ive moved sixth forms and it was the worst decision ever. I come in everyday at the time of registration to avoid sitting in the common room as I find it intimidating seeing strange faces that I don't know. I also haven't been to lunch in three weeks maybe more , I used to hang out with this group but now I don't like them anymore so I just sit in the library. I can talk in lessons but when it's lunch since I don't have a group I just feel awkward asking people if I can go to lunch with them and if you don't ask no one will come up to you. Ive cried so many times over this. I hate it here, I wanna go back to my old skl so bad. My parents never want to listen to me and say that I need to talk to people first but it's easier said than done. I don't wanna hang out with nerdy people too because I won't click with them. I never go to the common room at all I feel like everyone's staring at me. Im literally crying as I write this , but I don't want to draw any attention.
    Hey
    Firstly, I want to reassure you it's perfectly normal to find it intimidating seeing strange faces. I've recently moved to a college with over 3500 people, and I don't even know all the people in my classes yet, and I still find it intimidating walking into anywhere I haven't been loads (which is basically anywhere other than my classes...even tutorial which we've had 4 times is still pretty intimidating). Although obviously the social anxiety makes it worse, I would be surprised if there weren't others (even if they sit in a group of people) who find it quite scary, so you're unlikely to be alone!
    I know it's very hard at the beginning, but lunch is a very important time socially, so I would suggest if you can putting in some extra effort before half term to ask people if you can eat lunch with them and hopefully you can integrate into a new group. If you haven't been eating lunch with people, no one will tend to invite you to eat with them as they assume you aren't going to eat lunch with people.
    In regard to the common room, I'm sure people aren't actually staring at you. I know in our common room equivalents (can't really fit 3600 people in one room :lol:) people just concentrate on themselves or possibly their friends and don't even look at other people unless they speak to them.
    Do you have a PT? You should definitely talk to them about this (I know it's very difficult), especially as it will end up (if it hasn't already) affecting your school work and they need to know about this sort of thing so they can put support in place.
    If you need to talk I'm happy for you to pm me
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    (Original post by Lemur14)
    Hey
    Firstly, I want to reassure you it's perfectly normal to find it intimidating seeing strange faces. I've recently moved to a college with over 3500 people, and I don't even know all the people in my classes yet, and I still find it intimidating walking into anywhere I haven't been loads (which is basically anywhere other than my classes...even tutorial which we've had 4 times is still pretty intimidating). Although obviously the social anxiety makes it worse, I would be surprised if there weren't others (even if they sit in a group of people) who find it quite scary, so you're unlikely to be alone!
    I know it's very hard at the beginning, but lunch is a very important time socially, so I would suggest if you can putting in some extra effort before half term to ask people if you can eat lunch with them and hopefully you can integrate into a new group. If you haven't been eating lunch with people, no one will tend to invite you to eat with them as they assume you aren't going to eat lunch with people.
    In regard to the common room, I'm sure people aren't actually staring at you. I know in our common room equivalents (can't really fit 3600 people in one room :lol:) people just concentrate on themselves or possibly their friends and don't even look at other people unless they speak to them.
    Do you have a PT? You should definitely talk to them about this (I know it's very difficult), especially as it will end up (if it hasn't already) affecting your school work and they need to know about this sort of thing so they can put support in place.
    If you need to talk I'm happy for you to pm me
    Hi, this is a really dumb question but what's a PT? Also, the prospect of going up to someone is really scary. I can talk to people but I feel like hold a long convo.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, this is a really dumb question but what's a PT? Also, the prospect of going up to someone is really scary. I can talk to people but I feel like hold a long convo.
    Oops, that's not a stupid question, that's me using my college's acronyms! PT is personal tutor, although really talking to anyone at your school would be a good start and they can usually pass it on to the relevant people to get you support. You could potentially email if that would be better for you?
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    I hope this helps:

    1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?

    2) Smile, smiling in contagious.

    3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily.

    Have good posture, body language, improve your appearance.

    4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.

    5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

    6) Ask how they are, how's everything, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about what's happening.

    Talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them,

    compliment them, say "I like your jacket".

    If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.

    7) Be passionate about life.

    8) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.

    9) Look outside!
 
 
 
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