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    So I’ve been with my girlfriend a few months. Everything perfect. We got to talking about previous partners and eventually came to the fact that she was chatting to someone, met them on a night out at uni, snogged them went back and then passed out. Woke up to find him naked, her dress pulled up with no pants on. She is adamant that he was just about to start and she woke up before anything happened, but told me before she had pain in the area for a while. She hasn’t told anyone thus before because she was ashamed and she was originally adamant that she didn’t initially go back with the guy to sleep with him but I’ve got her to admit to that bit, but she’s constantly saying she came to as he was trying to get it in and shoved her off him. The way she’s being sheepish about it and the fact she said she was hurtingn afterwards suggests to me that isn’t the truth and she in fact came to during the act or after.
    It’s a disgusting situation and I’m so sorry she was put through it, but firstly that to me is rape, and it sounds like he did get it done, despite what she says.
    This is all through messages as I’m currently working away and haven’t seen her in over 2 weeks. What does it sound like to you? It has taken all day to get her to tell me this much.

    I feel horrible for it, because she’s still the same girl I fell in love with and this all happened years before I met her, but I don’t feel the same about her knowing this. Firstly because she was adamant she was different and didn’t just pick a guy up on a night out and sleep with them, she only slept with someone in a relationship which is more classy. Not true clearly, and then I know what happened and it wasn’t her fault, but I don’t want her any more knowing this has happened.
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    Well, it looks like you've opened a wound...
    She might just need some space.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    but I don’t want her any more knowing this has happened.
    You want to break up with your girlfriend because she was raped years ago?
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    (Original post by DrawTheLine)
    You want to break up with your girlfriend because she was raped years ago?
    No, not because you was raped spefically, but it makes me see her differently. Like tainted and I know it’s wrong but I can’t help it. Not only has another man been with her, he’s done it without her consent. Just makes me feel sick and I’m not sure I want to have sex with her again, which would make the relationship fail from there.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, not because you was raped spefically, but it makes me see her differently. Like tainted and I know it’s wrong but I can’t help it. Not only has another man been with her, he’s done it without her consent. Just makes me feel sick and I’m not sure I want to have sex with her again, which would make the relationship fail from there.
    That's pretty crappy of you. Definitely break up with her, she deserves someone a lot better than you. Someone who will support her and not make her feel like damaged goods. Honestly you've shocked me.
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    if you think shes damaged goods then you should break up with her. She deserves someone who will actually support her.
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    Have you ever thought she got drunk and consented, albeit in a semi drunken state. I mean, the line is sketchy ad the area contentious. But IF she does think so she has o be 100% sure
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    I'm struggling to understand you.

    You want to break up with her because she has been with another man, or because you suspect that she has been raped?

    Either way, you're abhorrent. I hope you end it for her sake.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, not because you was raped spefically, but it makes me see her differently. Like tainted and I know it’s wrong but I can’t help it. Not only has another man been with her, he’s done it without her consent. Just makes me feel sick and I’m not sure I want to have sex with her again, which would make the relationship fail from there.
    Why is that her fault exactly? He forced it upon her, you're being highly insensitive for breaking up with her on grounds of her being with another man.

    I do hope you are trolling because that's disgusting behaviour.
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    You want to break up with her because she was raped?? Your view of her has been tainted because someone forced themselves on her? You're the one who feels sick?

    You're absolutely disgusting.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, not because you was raped spefically, but it makes me see her differently. Like tainted and I know it’s wrong but I can’t help it. Not only has another man been with her, he’s done it without her consent. Just makes me feel sick and I’m not sure I want to have sex with her again, which would make the relationship fail from there.

    YOU are the reason many rape victims do not come forward.
    You disgust me.




    1) Another man has not 'been with her'. A criminal RAPED her!
    2) If it makes you feel sick, how do you think it made her feel?
    3) You see her differently. Not as a strong woman who has struggled with being the victim of sexual abuse, managing to continue with her life. But as 'tainted'.

    Unless you can get your act together and start thinking of someone other than yourself, then she is better off without you.
    I hope she finds this thread.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I’ve been with my girlfriend a few months. Everything perfect. We got to talking about previous partners and eventually came to the fact that she was chatting to someone, met them on a night out at uni, snogged them went back and then passed out. Woke up to find him naked, her dress pulled up with no pants on. She is adamant that he was just about to start and she woke up before anything happened, but told me before she had pain in the area for a while. She hasn’t told anyone thus before because she was ashamed and she was originally adamant that she didn’t initially go back with the guy to sleep with him but I’ve got her to admit to that bit, but she’s constantly saying she came to as he was trying to get it in and shoved her off him. The way she’s being sheepish about it and the fact she said she was hurtingn afterwards suggests to me that isn’t the truth and she in fact came to during the act or after.
    It’s a disgusting situation and I’m so sorry she was put through it, but firstly that to me is rape, and it sounds like he did get it done, despite what she says.
    This is all through messages as I’m currently working away and haven’t seen her in over 2 weeks. What does it sound like to you? It has taken all day to get her to tell me this much.

    I feel horrible for it, because she’s still the same girl I fell in love with and this all happened years before I met her, but I don’t feel the same about her knowing this. Firstly because she was adamant she was different and didn’t just pick a guy up on a night out and sleep with them, she only slept with someone in a relationship which is more classy. Not true clearly, and then I know what happened and it wasn’t her fault, but I don’t want her any more knowing this has happened.


    Are you religious or something?
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    (Original post by Lissy14)
    YOU are the reason many rape victims do not come forward.
    You disgust me.




    1) Another man has not 'been with her'. A criminal RAPED her!
    2) If it makes you feel sick, how do you think it made her feel?
    3) You see her differently. Not as a strong woman who has struggled with being the victim of sexual abuse, managing to continue with her life. But as 'tainted'.

    Unless you can get your act together and start thinking of someone other than yourself, then she is better off without you.
    I hope she finds this thread.
    I have already told her she needs to speak up and not let him get away with it, it’s possible he thought because he got away with it once he can do it again.
    To be clear I am not abandoning her, I care about her and I am supporting her, I just don’t know if I can be with her.

    The way she isn’t talking about it, I’m not even entirely sure it wasn’t consensual, or she is ashamed that she went home with a lad, slept with him and realised afterwards. No, I’m not saying that in a mean way, she has changed her story about what happened so many times today I don’t even know if it’s true any more.

    My mother was abused in a different way when she was pregnant with me, if you don’t think I’m abhor what has happened and want to do unspeakable things to the guy who did it you’re mistaken, I despise men like that with every fibre of my being.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, not because you was raped spefically, but it makes me see her differently. Like tainted and I know it’s wrong but I can’t help it. Not only has another man been with her, he’s done it without her consent. Just makes me feel sick and I’m not sure I want to have sex with her again, which would make the relationship fail from there.
    if she was raped, it is not her fault. she probably deserves someone better than you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have already told her she needs to speak up and not let him get away with it, it’s possible he thought because he got away with it once he can do it again.
    To be clear I am not abandoning her, I care about her and I am supporting her, I just don’t know if I can be with her.

    The way she isn’t talking about it, I’m not even entirely sure it wasn’t consensual, or she is ashamed that she went home with a lad, slept with him and realised afterwards. No, I’m not saying that in a mean way, she has changed her story about what happened so many times today I don’t even know if it’s true any more.

    My mother was abused in a different way when she was pregnant with me, if you don’t think I’m abhor what has happened and want to do unspeakable things to the guy who did it you’re mistaken, I despise men like that with every fibre of my being.
    1. guilting her that this guy could rape someone else is NOT support, realistically she is not going to get anywhere by reporting him and it would be traumatic for her, the responsibility of future victims is NOT on her

    2. anyone who would lie about being raped is a pretty ****ing terrible person, so I'd guess you'd see other signs, especially given it took a lot for her to tell you in the first place, I doubt she is lying about consenting, she is probably only lying because she can tell you think she's 'tainted'

    3. abhoring rapists and abusers is pretty basic... without being able to accept your GF was raped by someone you're not still not even reaching basic levels of humanity

    4. If you can't get over this do your GF a favour and stay away from her, do you realise how much trust it takes for someone to disclose being raped or sexually assaulted? You have taken that trust and potentially destroyed it by judging her like this.

    5. If you cared about her or supported her you would not be using words like 'tainted' to describe her.
 
 
 
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