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Gcse English

Can someone please mark my Paper 1 question 5 answer about describing a beach. Thank you so much I would really appriciate it 😊


Question 5:
Is there anything else quite as serene as an amble by the seashore? The whooshing waves and squelching sand tickling your feet. Though sensitive, it feels as though Poseidons placed the vast sea at your feet.

You come here all the time. Every day. Every week. Every year. You’ve come here all your extensive life. Never crestfallen.

The sea life call to you but you have to resist the urge to fall deep into the Perussio-blue. The sky screeches your name saying all about the stupendous views miles and many years away. This is all you can fathom. Everyone around you are a lifetime away - even non-existent.

The dives from the children digging endlessly to the sea bed. However you hear not a pin drop. Nor you see the tracks from the people before, embroding artwork all to the sea floor. Vivid buckets and spade‘s crashing against each other like swords in jousting, reckoning the essence and beauty of the serene beach.

But you hear nothing. None of this. Nothing at all..

Suddenly your daydream comes to an end. You are no longer entrapped, at the home feel beach, as you are aware of the amount of people surrounding you; paying no attention to you.

The happy smiles of the families drift their way onto you, like as if the bombarded beach is accepting your presence.

//// This is not all of it but I think it’s a start 😂\\\\
Really good description. The only thing issue I had with it was that it was kinda short. Would've liked to see you expand a bit more and you would certainly get around 27-30. You might want to include a lot more variety in punctuation and add some.

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