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I'm an extremely insecure millionaire

I grew up in a very poor/abusive house where there was never much money, but due to half lucky circumstances (see below) I am as of today a millionaire at roughly 25 (don't want to be found irl).

I don't feel anything and get increasingly insecure about money. I lie about being a MULTI millionaire to my close friends and I've got stingier as time goes on.

I think this stems from insecurity that I can't afford 30k a year private schools/nice houses for my children when I have them, which in turn probably stems from how **** my childhood was (although I did exceptionally well academically and turned out ok so many people I know were single mothers at 18, dropped out at 16, drug addicts etc).

The only thing I've spent a lot of money on is 10k a night prostitutes a few times, and that was just as an ego boost since my wealth obviously impresses most people.

I don't even know what I'm asking for, I guess just how to get rid of my insecurity about wealth/how to feel satisfied since I'm worried I'll just keep wanting more.

(Only close friends/government for tax purposes are aware of my wealth and I am not in contact with my family. Most people are completely unaware and I own nothing out of the ordinary (no lambos, rolex, mansion etc). I am near the of a phd and have lurked on tsr for years)

(Reason for wealth was working very, very hard combined with student loan while studying. Had about 50k saved at the time, got fed up of it and put 30k into bitcoin in one go at start of 2015 (note this was AFTER it shot up the first time in 2013). Put a bit more in as well over the course of the year.)

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will answer for £100000 in cash tyvm
Reply 2
Avatar for Arianax
Arianax
20
Have you tried counselling sessions or seeking help?
Original post by Ishax
Have you tried counselling sessions or seeking help?


I have spoke to councillors (about none money issues) before but have been unable to "open up". When I was at a child I kept everything to myself out of subconscious fear of it being used against me to manipulate emotions, and I'm very ashamed to say it but I get extremely agitated/aggressive now if someone tries asking about my feelings /anything I consider personal so would be worried about getting violent towards the councillor.

I don't think many people could sympathise with the money situation in real life so have never spoke to them about money, and would honestly be too insecure to admit to lieing about wealth regularly apart from anonymously (like on tsr).
can you give me a small loan of a million dallars
Reply 5
Avatar for Arianax
Arianax
20
Original post by throwawwwayyy
I have spoke to councillors (about none money issues) before but have been unable to "open up". When I was at a child I kept everything to myself out of subconscious fear of it being used against me to manipulate emotions, and I'm very ashamed to say it but I get extremely agitated/aggressive now if someone tries asking about my feelings /anything I consider personal so would be worried about getting violent towards the councillor.

I don't think many people could sympathise with the money situation in real life so have never spoke to them about money, and would honestly be too insecure to admit to lieing about wealth regularly apart from anonymously (like on tsr).


I guess so, I can understand.

Hope you get better soon :smile:
What university course did you do and what university?
Original post by Ishax
I guess so, I can understand.

Hope you get better soon :smile:


Thanks :smile:, I'm surprised I got an actual none joke reply. I expect it will probably get better with time, but I REALLY don't want to get worse.

Might try seeing one again if asking random people on tsr doesn't work lol.
Reply 8
Avatar for Arianax
Arianax
20
Original post by throwawwwayyy
Thanks :smile:, I'm surprised I got an actual none joke reply. I expect it will probably get better with time, but I REALLY don't want to get worse.

Might try seeing one again if asking random people on tsr doesn't work lol.


Everyone has insecurities, you just have to learn how to cope with them and put them back of your mind.


Haha, go ahead try :smile:
Is there something you're passionate about that you can use your capital to invest/promote/develop? Having a meaningful project that you can focus positive attention on might solve a few of your issues.
Original post by Anonymous1502
What university course did you do and what university?


I've completed 2 courses, and am studying a third (phd). I won't say the exact uni/subject/type of course for identification reasons, but am studying the subject since it's one of the few things I truly enjoy.

My wealth is NOTHING to do with the universities I've been to if that's the reason you're asking, although have met a fair few richer people my age at one of them.
Reply 11
Avatar for Flocoa
Flocoa
10
It is a tricky situation that you are in, particularly as people may alter their judgement on you if they know of your wealth. Trying to put myself into your shoes, I think I would try and form a close connection with an individual (perhaps a friend) and just blurt out all your issues to them, the familiarity you have to this person will hopefully ease the aggression you mentioned earlier. There's no single fix to making yourself feel less insecure, unless you first learn to trust both others and later on yourself. Perhaps getting involved with community matters may help and keep your mind off money matters? Hopefully this helps, my advice is only grasped from my experiences as an socially awkward sixth former :smile:
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by throwawwwayyy
I've completed 2 courses, and am studying a third (phd). I won't say the exact uni/subject/type of course for identification reasons, but am studying the subject since it's one of the few things I truly enjoy.

My wealth is NOTHING to do with the universities I've been to if that's the reason you're asking, although have met a fair few richer people my age at one of them.


Can you at least tell me,if your course either law or something science/medicine and is your uni RG?
Original post by sloperw
Is there something you're passionate about that you can use your capital to invest/promote/develop? Having a meaningful project that you can focus positive attention on might solve a few of your issues.


I like my phd subject which I use to take my mind of things, sometimes I sneak into random lectures in a unrelated subject I find interesting.

I don't really have any creative ideas, and although you might not expect it you really can't do much with a million (talking strictly about developing something/making a difference). Business wise I personally have full faith that just keeping my bitcoins will give much better financial returns than anything else like becoming a landlord.

Thanks though, something to be passionate about definitely does make it easier with my phd.
Money can't buy you happiness, but I'd rather cry in my Ferrari :holmes:
My heart bleeds for you give it to poor children who need it
Original post by Flocoa
It is a tricky situation that you are in, particularly as people may alter their judgement on you if they know of your wealth. Trying to put myself into your shoes, I think I would try and form a close connection with an individual (perhaps a friend) and just blurt out all your issues to them, the familiarity you have to this person will hopefully ease the aggression you mentioned earlier. There's no single fix to making yourself feel less insecure, unless you first learn to trust both others and later on yourself. Perhaps getting involved with community matters may help and keep your mind off money matters? Hopefully this helps, my advice is only grasped from my experiences as an socially awkward sixth former :smile:


Thankyou, I have talked to my best friend about it but will really try and come clean about lying maybe after we've went somewhere for the day and I've had bit too drink in private. It's nice to have a bit of encouragement:smile:.

I pack multiple and hand out sandwiches to the homeless people when I do my bicycle food delivery job which kind of makes me feel good.
Yeah I accepted it might be due to that a few years ago, thanks. I will try and start seeing them more often
Yo wait, hol' up ho' up!

What is a supposedly "millionaire" doing on a student forum room made for students asking life advice from students:mute:?
Original post by Anonymous1502
Can you at least tell me,if your course either law or something science/medicine and is your uni RG?


I don't see why you care so much since my money is not related AT ALL to the subject or uni or even due to the fact I went to uni (same thing would have happened if I got a job), but it was/is a science subject at RG unis. That really is all I'm saying this time.

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