Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Please, who persuaded you to get help, and how Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I have been trying to persuade someone very close to me to get some help for almost 2 years now.

    I am very sure he has undiagnosed depression as well as potential social anxiety.

    However, nothing I have said seems to get through to him. I desperately want him to get help. Not only has the depression got worse but he in the last year he has also developed some anger issues and has begun hurting himself.

    I have run out of ways to try and persuade him to get help.

    Want to know who persuade you to get help and how they did it.

    His main objections to getting help seem to be centred around an unwillingness to see doctors/take meds, and a strong anxiety towards talking to people in any capacity.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    If you've run out of ways to persuade him then it's reached the point where it's up to him to seek help. I mean it's always been up to him to seek help if he needs it.

    Nonetheless, for me it was partly that I was on the verge of doing something very drastic, and partly because my friend suggested it and I eventually did it. But I didn't follow her advice immediately (mainly because I couldn't) but it was down to me to finally choose it.
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have been trying to persuade someone very close to me to get some help for almost 2 years now.

    I am very sure he has undiagnosed depression as well as potential social anxiety.

    However, nothing I have said seems to get through to him. I desperately want him to get help. Not only has the depression got worse but he in the last year he has also developed some anger issues and has begun hurting himself.

    I have run out of ways to try and persuade him to get help.

    Want to know who persuade you to get help and how they did it.

    His main objections to getting help seem to be centred around an unwillingness to see doctors/take meds, and a strong anxiety towards talking to people in any capacity.
    Myself. I eventually reached the point where I realised I could not continue as I was. Hearing other people's experiences on TSR helped me realise what might be going on, but I had to work out for myself that I needed help.

    I know it sucks, but there isn't anything you can do to convince somebody if they aren't ready. You just need to stick by them and be there for them when they do realise it. Before then, too much pushing can lead to them resenting you.

    If his issues are with seeing a doctor or taking medication, there are other options (like counselling) which he might consider, but again you need to wait for him to be ready.
    It's difficult to see somebody you care about suffering when you know something that could help them, but you can't force him to get that help so you just need to sit there supporting him and very gently suggesting things when appropriate.

    If you are at school or college though, you could have a chat with a trusted teacher about him.

    One thing that helped me a lot is knowing that I had people who would not judge me and who would let me lead my own way. My (now) bf was very supportive and always ready to listen, but also never pushed me to do anything. He gave me the space to come to my own conclusion and stood by me through it all. I could talk to him openly and use that to help me make my own realisations and decisions. It sounds silly, but if anything him not encouraging me encouraged me.


    The exception to this standing back approach is if you believe his is at real and immediate risk of causing himself serious harm. At some point his safety will outweigh your relationship and if that time does come you'll need to seriously consider telling somebody (usually by calling 999).
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 13, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Will you be richer or poorer than your parents?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.