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    Hey all!

    So I was dating a guy for a couple of months and we went on quite a few dates. He seemed pretty much content and very positive after the last date we had, going as far as to say he couldn’t wait to see me again and that he was a little concerned that he came across as ‘elusive’ as a result of him being quite cautious. After visiting his parents back in Ireland later that week though, he came back and went a bit quiet. I let it go a short while and then asked him if he was perhaps no longer interested or if he was just being cautious, because I liked him enough to wait if that were the case. The response I got back was lovely- he said he really wanted to see me again and that he was very sorry that life had just caught up with him. He explained what had been going on in his life, and made more of an effort for a week, saying some things which really pulled at my heart strings.

    Then it went off again, after I asked if he would happen to be free again at some point. I let him know that the reason I was leaving it to him to decide was because I was conscious of the fact that stuff was happening in his life at that time. I got no reply anyway.

    He then came back again from Ireland and he and I crossed paths at the gym. I didn’t see him but he saw me and then he sent me a message saying ‘hello to you too’. I tried to have some banter with him but he was quick to finish the conversation, signing off with a ‘catch you later! X’f.

    I suppose I’m wondering what you guys would do here? He and I both live near each other (over the road from each other in fact!), we have seen each other at the gym quite a few times since (and he and I have pretty much mutually avoided eye contact but I have seen him looking at me through the reflection of the windows, which has creeped me out at times...) and the uncomfortable thing is that I have noticed that he has his ‘gay best friend’ (who I knew from when I first came out, as he was the first guy I met up with from a dating site- nothing happened!) staying over at least three nights a week. (Please don’t think I am stalking... I have an unpleasant eidetic memory when it comes to car number plates.) My suspicion is that they’re perhaps more than friends but not quite together...

    I’m thinking... is it worthwhile making one last move at trying to communicate with him or should I just leave it? He has caused me an insane amount of pain, but somehow I still really like this guy and there is something quite special about him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey all!

    So I was dating a guy for a couple of months and we went on quite a few dates. He seemed pretty much content and very positive after the last date we had, going as far as to say he couldn’t wait to see me again and that he was a little concerned that he came across as ‘elusive’ as a result of him being quite cautious. After visiting his parents back in Ireland later that week though, he came back and went a bit quiet. I let it go a short while and then asked him if he was perhaps no longer interested or if he was just being cautious, because I liked him enough to wait if that were the case. The response I got back was lovely- he said he really wanted to see me again and that he was very sorry that life had just caught up with him. He explained what had been going on in his life, and made more of an effort for a week, saying some things which really pulled at my heart strings.

    Then it went off again, after I asked if he would happen to be free again at some point. I let him know that the reason I was leaving it to him to decide was because I was conscious of the fact that stuff was happening in his life at that time. I got no reply anyway.

    He then came back again from Ireland and he and I crossed paths at the gym. I didn’t see him but he saw me and then he sent me a message saying ‘hello to you too’. I tried to have some banter with him but he was quick to finish the conversation, signing off with a ‘catch you later! X’f.

    I suppose I’m wondering what you guys would do here? He and I both live near each other (over the road from each other in fact!), we have seen each other at the gym quite a few times since (and he and I have pretty much mutually avoided eye contact but I have seen him looking at me through the reflection of the windows, which has creeped me out at times...) and the uncomfortable thing is that I have noticed that he has his ‘gay best friend’ (who I knew from when I first came out, as he was the first guy I met up with from a dating site- nothing happened!) staying over at least three nights a week. (Please don’t think I am stalking... I have an unpleasant eidetic memory when it comes to car number plates.) My suspicion is that they’re perhaps more than friends but not quite together...

    I’m thinking... is it worthwhile making one last move at trying to communicate with him or should I just leave it? He has caused me an insane amount of pain, but somehow I still really like this guy and there is something quite special about him.
    Sounds like he's got too many issues to deal with to give any quality time over to building a relationship.

    From the way you have described the situation, my instinct would be to let it drop. He sounds too high maintenance, which will probably end up hurting you badly at a later time when you have invested more of yourself.
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    Thanks for your reply! I agree- he does seem like very high maintenance. The hard thing for me right now is actually getting over the entire thing. It was like a (very positive) whirlwind and then all of a sudden, there was nothing, despite some really lovely messages last time we spoke. In my own head I’m the kind of person who needs to know which box I fit into, and whilst I’m pretty certain where I stand, it’s frustrating me. 😅
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