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Debate: Would you dump your partner if he/she got fat? Watch

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    (Original post by euphonious)
    We've only been seeing one another for a couple of months, but even so, his comments shed light on a superficial and blinkered character. I met him on TSR actually, haha.
    Oh wow. We're a matchmaking site now too?
    Yeah, that's what I would be worried about. I'm one of those people who likes to give everybody the benefit of the doubt, so I would probably stick with it a bit more to see if you get any other red flags. I would totally understand if you wanted to ditch him over it though. It does imply a shallow mindset that just isn't great for building a relationship on. And hey if you're already cool with dumping him over it it probably shows the relationship isn't exactly the best anyway since you're not that attached to him.
    Listen to your heart- it's the one in the firing line if things aren't all good.
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    This is his way of telling you that you're getting fat and need to stop or he will dump you (conjecture)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is his way of telling you that you're getting fat and need to stop or he will dump you (conjecture)
    No, it's not. I asked him if he would ever leave me if I gained weight. I'm not fat at all, I go to the gym most days and I eat healthily.
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    no.

    I am married for life, I cant ever dump them.

    That being said, I would not be happy about it - and I would do everything in my power to stop it happening. Being fat/obese that is. Putting on a little weight is ok. Me and my wife go up and down in both of our weights depending on our work/life.. at the moment we have lost a fair bit of weight since the start of this year.. by working together/eating better and going to the gym together. But with winter coming, which means 6 months of -30 in this part of the world, I expect weight to go up over the next few months.

    Fluxuations are ok, but if she ever became properly obese or whale-like, then I would have a huge problem with it, but Its not something I can leave her over.. it would be a huge failure of both of us though.
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    At first, no. But if my partner continued to gain weight and refused to change his lifestyle and admit there's a problem, then I would leave him. If I've tried encouraging him to diet and lose weight, yet he continues to kill himself, then I'm not going to sit by him and watch him do that.
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    Just a bit chubby, no, but if they got really overweight I doubt I'd still find them attractive. I wouldn't be able to have sex with someone I wasn't physically attracted to, so it probably wouldn't work out.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I gained 80lbs in 6 months last year and my wife didn't leave me. I've lost some of the weight but I'm still hovering around the "obese BMI" cutoff point. I feel so loved that she hasn't left me despite how much I've changed and I think it shows me how much she really does care about me.

    To me physical appearance is way less important than personality and how well I click with a person. I love my wife a lot and if she gained weight I'd prefer she didn't but there's no way I'd leave her, I love her personality and we have so much fun and work so well together - I don't think I could ever be with anyone else and I don't want to either. Your partner sounds extremely childish that he cannot see past physical appearances.
    Goals.
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    (Original post by Kindred)
    Oh wow. We're a matchmaking site now too?
    Yeah, that's what I would be worried about. I'm one of those people who likes to give everybody the benefit of the doubt, so I would probably stick with it a bit more to see if you get any other red flags. I would totally understand if you wanted to ditch him over it though. It does imply a shallow mindset that just isn't great for building a relationship on. And hey if you're already cool with dumping him over it it probably shows the relationship isn't exactly the best anyway since you're not that attached to him.
    Listen to your heart- it's the one in the firing line if things aren't all good.
    I'll give him the benefit of the doubt just this once. If I get any further warning signs, I'm going to get rid.

    Thanks for your advice!
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    (Original post by euphonious)
    I'll give him the benefit of the doubt just this once. If I get any further warning signs, I'm going to get rid.

    Thanks for your advice!
    Good plan
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    yes.
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    When my husband gained weight, the only concern I had was for his health and well being. It didn't even cross my mind for a second to leave him. I'll admit I wasn't as physically attracted to him at that weight but knew he had problems and wanted to be with him through them all. He ended up losing 4 stone over a year and a half and has still managed to keep it off.
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    (Original post by Kindred)
    Good plan
    u play league?
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    damnn, that is rudeee girl.

    find yourself a man who'd love you through thick and thin
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    People don't usually get into relationships just because they like a person's personality. That's what friendship is for.
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    nah i wouldn't, i guess i'd just be concerned bc maybe he's going thru stuff which led him to gaining weight. Honestly if your boyfriend would just straight away dumped you if you got fat and not even think about why it happened, he doesn't care enough and i think you should dump him and find someone else that is better.
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    (Original post by euphonious)
    My boyfriend told me that he'd leave me if I got fat. He claims that he isn't shallow because even though personality prevails, there has to be physical attraction in a relationship. Do you agree?
    Student room and no one's mentioned natural selection or survival of the fittest yet. He would be defying thousands of years of hardwired evolved instincts if he didn't become less attracted in you
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    I guess people see attraction in a different way.
    I would say he's more attracted to the way you look than your personality. Therefore he may not find you attractive if you gained weight.
    To me, personality is first and would definitely not judge by gaining weight.
    If it did happen I would be more concerned about health issues and encourage my partner, along with me to excercise as I was concerned for their welling.
    Ultimately I believe he should have said no. Although, he may just firmly believe in physical attraction.
 
 
 
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