Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So my Dad just came home completely mashed after the Man U game. He's always been a heavy drinker, as long as I remember. He ended up in hospital because of it when I was doing my A-levels. When he's not drinking he talks to himself - even in public, I think he has some kind of undiagnosed mental disorder like schizophrenia.

    I once tried discussing things with him, but - it's hard to describe him - he's very set in his ways, he grew up very poor/working class in the 1960's and his opinions on mental health and having 'problems' is pretty typical of people of his culture from that era - he just has no time for analysis of mental health or the idea of seeing professionals. To him it's 'soft' and ridiculous.

    I've given up talking to him about any of it. I couldn't afford to move out for uni. I have 2 more years under his roof. I tolerate him.

    I'm just asking how to cope. I know it's his house and I'm grateful to have a roof over my head. I just loathe what he has become - he's a heavy drinking cynical emotionally vacant divorcee who blames the world for all his problems but refuses to look at himself - and he treats me like I'm nothing/has total disrespect for me around the house.

    I don't talk to anyone about any of this since I'm at a university where most people are quite well-to-do and come from middle class backgrounds.

    I just feel like I'm dealing with something difficult and can't speak to anyone.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    It sounds to me like your father's drinking has an effect on you quite badly. Have you thought of attending Alateen meetings? They are anonymous meetings for the children of alcoholics. There is a lot of support out there. My son's father was a violent controlling, aggressive alcoholic, who used to hit both me and our son. He committed suicide 10 years ago when our son was ten years old. The very fact that you have made this thread indicates to me that you feel you need some sort of support with this. You're not alone. Good luck.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So my Dad just came home completely mashed after the Man U game. He's always been a heavy drinker, as long as I remember. He ended up in hospital because of it when I was doing my A-levels. When he's not drinking he talks to himself - even in public, I think he has some kind of undiagnosed mental disorder like schizophrenia.

    I once tried discussing things with him, but - it's hard to describe him - he's very set in his ways, he grew up very poor/working class in the 1960's and his opinions on mental health and having 'problems' is pretty typical of people of his culture from that era - he just has no time for analysis of mental health or the idea of seeing professionals. To him it's 'soft' and ridiculous.

    I've given up talking to him about any of it. I couldn't afford to move out for uni. I have 2 more years under his roof. I tolerate him.

    I'm just asking how to cope. I know it's his house and I'm grateful to have a roof over my head. I just loathe what he has become - he's a heavy drinking cynical emotionally vacant divorcee who blames the world for all his problems but refuses to look at himself - and he treats me like I'm nothing/has total disrespect for me around the house.

    I don't talk to anyone about any of this since I'm at a university where most people are quite well-to-do and come from middle class backgrounds.

    I just feel like I'm dealing with something difficult and can't speak to anyone.
    Every university has a Student Support Service who can listen to you, and give you advice / support. You can also speak to your Personal Tutor in confidence.

    If you can't move out, try to spend most of your time at uni, with friends or at the uni library. Only come back to the house to sleep and maybe eat. Every day get up early and stay out till late, until you're able to leave for good. Doing this will minimise your contact with your dad and his problems, and give you time/ opportunity to do stuff that without being affected by your dad.

    If you can do it, try and get a part time job, save up the money for a deposit so you can permanently move out to a place of your own.

    You can't yet change your present situation but you definitely change your future.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 14, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
    Useful resources
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.