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I have a student placement but Im kind of dreading it (long post) watch

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    Im studying a healthcare degree and although on other placements I did fine (some said i did brill) on one of my last placement I didnt do that well. I was always being told that i was anxious and not confident. I identified that answering phones at work was one of my fears so I tried to push myself out of my comfort zone.

    At a meeting the manager said that they needed someone to take the phonecalls for the afternoon so i volunteered. Everyone was like thank you and what not but anyway the first few calls were ok it was another call that stitched me up. A woman from the health centres financial department rang (so a collegue) and asked for a patients GP number. I tried to look it up on the computor but had forgotton how to get to it. I aplogised and asked her if she minded holding why i sought a collegue for advice and she said 'why cant you do it, how do you look up your patients numbers then'. I told her that i was new to the department and tried to get help from someone in the office. They told me briefly how to do it so i went back and still had difficulty. I went back to the collegue and they told me to put her through to admin, they wouldnt come over and help me. I aplogised to the woman on the phone and gave her the number to admin and thanked her for waiting. She said 'you should be able to out me through really, very unprofessional' then put the phone down. She must have reported me to admin as my mentor brought it up with me and asked why i couldnt do it and said that she showed me on my first day. I couldnt remember, maybe cause i had lots to learn on my first day. Im not great on computors. She said that she wouldnt have known how to put through to admin but that I should have been able to get the number for her. She said that the woman had said that I left the phone off the hook and also that id grunted (or something similar she said) on the phone. I know that i did my best and tried to be polite to her, i dont recall grunting nor know why i would have done that. I explained to my mentor how the call went and she said 'i think she was taken aback that you couldnt do it'. My mentor then wouldnt pass me for the communication with collegues part of my assessment. If I hadnt have volunteered I very likely would have passed ha

    I knew my mentor had had enough of me as i heard her say to her collegue that she had another student due in 2 months ('due' what the hell does she give birth to them lol) and that she was dreading it. Another thing I failed on was knowledge. I was aksed to teach a student how to give an i jection so the night before prepared what i was going to say and did it. What my mentor didnt tell me was that there would be questions after it. She got a first year student to write a list of questions to ask me on medication (and told her not to tell me). So it was a bit of a shock, the student was firing away questions and a lot i didnt know the answer to. I was asked dosages for drugs i hadnt The student said she felt bad after but that my mentor had told her not to tell me that i was getting questions. Therefore I didnt have chance to repair and revise the info. Maybe i should have known there and then but it would have been nice of my mentor to give me a chance to revise even if for half an hour or so. So I failed on my knowledge. I went home secretly crying in the car for a few nights feeling useless. When she reassessed me (the university set out an action plan and gave me time to revise things before being assessed) i had to teach another student and my mentor sat there looking fed up. She went to her desk half way through it, brought back some scissors, and started trimming the ends of her hair whilst listening to me lol.

    Anyway I did ask the manager for help once when sending a letter to the GP (asked her just to check a bit of it). When my uni contacted them to ask about me not passing the manager said that i was anxious and asking questions that I should already know by now. So the the following weeks I didnt ask questions only if I felt I really had to. Another staff member then said that i should try to show interest by asking questions. I felt I couldnt win and didnt really feel supported like i did on my other placements. I thought that some of the staff wer nice but there were about 5 staff i felt were harsh. I just felt that i was being assessed and judged for faults all the time without being helped. On my other placements I felt very supported and recieved praise lol on this one the opposite. Maybe it was my performance as i had never had a community placement before and felt out of my depth.

    On my next placement though im wary of asking questions now in case i should already know. Im wary of volunteering for things and stepping out of my comfort zone to develop myself in case I make a mistake and fail because of it. Has anyone else had experiences like this on placements. I just wanted advice.
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