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    Feeling very emotional and sentimental today.

    My grandma died almost 2 years ago, when I was 25, after being in a hospice with a long-term illness.

    I find even now sometimes the grief will just hit me like a slap in the face, each time as if I'm realising for the first time that she isn't here anymore and I'll never see her or speak to her again.

    Sometimes I feel happy about the time I had with her in my life, others I feel overwhelmed with guilt that I didn't spend as much time with her as I now wish I had. I also wish I had kept more birthday cards etc from her, I never really liked the thought of keeping them as it was almost anticipating her not being here one day.

    I try to keep her memory alive in me by wearing some of her clothes, cardigans she knitted, jewelry etc. She was very unique lady <3
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Feeling very emotional and sentimental today.

    My grandma died almost 2 years ago, when I was 25, after being in a hospice with a long-term illness.

    I find even now sometimes the grief will just hit me like a slap in the face, each time as if I'm realising for the first time that she isn't here anymore and I'll never see her or speak to her again.

    Sometimes I feel happy about the time I had with her in my life, others I feel overwhelmed with guilt that I didn't spend as much time with her as I now wish I had. I also wish I had kept more birthday cards etc from her, I never really liked the thought of keeping them as it was almost anticipating her not being here one day.

    I try to keep her memory alive in me by wearing some of her clothes, cardigans she knitted, jewelry etc. She was very unique lady <3
    :console:Grief is very different for everybody, it's okay that it still hits you sometimes that they aren't there anymore (I got married recently and although miraculously i didnt cry over them not being there, i had a nice chat with my cousin about dad and my grandparents and shared some happy memories together, sometimes having those chats with someone who knew those people when you're struggling can be quite comforting) , what matters is that you're managing to carry on with your life. I would have kept a lot more from my dad and his parents if i would have known, and i know what that guilt is like but what you should focus on is what you did do with them and what you have kept like her clothes. You probably won't ever be the same person you were before, but that's okay as it just shows how much they meant to you.
    I know words aren't really that comforting in situations like this but if you need a chat with someone whose lost some people too then feel free to pm me.
 
 
 
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