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Should I date my friends ex? Watch

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    #1

    Okay so some important details:
    > We're all 20 now.
    > My friend starting dating him when we were 15 and they broke up when we turned 17.
    > They broke up because my friend cheated on him
    > I don't really talk to my friend anymore and only really see her when we're all back from uni at christmas (I didn't see her throughout the entire summer)
    > Her ex asked me out when we were 13 and I had a massive crush on him but was too scared to go on a date with him.
    > Me and him have been talking on an off for about a year now (we started around last september then it kinda stopped for a couple of months then picked up around june this year)

    So basically I've never stopped having a thing for him. We're both really into the same things and get on well (we were friends before him and my 'friend' started dating). I don't really see my friend any more and as they broke up because she was cheating on him I can't see how she can take the moral high-ground. He lives a couple of hours away by train and has invited me to come up to see him. I agreed and booked tickets but felt guilty about how it would look to my friend (and the people who know us) so cancelled them. Now I feel a bit upset that I'm not going even though he said he would come and visit me when he's over this way next. So yeah my question is 'would it be wrong to start seeing him?'. The other issue is that because he's so far away I don't know how a long distance relationship would work (saying that, because we're in 2nd year at uni it's only another year until he's finished and may possibly move back home like me?)

    Thoughts would be appreciated!
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    I normally would say no you never date a friends ex. But, in this situation since you are no longer in communication w/ that friend and it has been years they broke up and you seem to mutually like each other I would see where things lead. You never know . But, if you still have a close knit friend group there will probably be a lot of talking about whether it is okay or not between your friends. If, however, the friendship group has somewhat splintered and everyone is moving into their new phases of life (uni, etc.) and you all don't get together regularly then I don't think they will care. No one really has to know until you two decide your 'official' anyway.
    Good Luck!
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    It sounds like you and the friend aren't really that close anymore and that you really like the guy so I think you might as well go for it. Long distance relationships can be hard so I guess you have to decide whether you're willing to put a lot more effort in to make it work.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Hopefully1)
    I normally would say no you never date a friends ex. But, in this situation since you are no longer in communication w/ that friend and it has been years they broke up and you seem to mutually like each other I would see where things lead. You never know . But, if you still have a close knit friend group there will probably be a lot of talking about whether it is okay or not between your friends. If, however, the friendship group has somewhat splintered and everyone is moving into their new phases of life (uni, etc.) and you all don't get together regularly then I don't think they will care. No one really has to know until you two decide your 'official' anyway.
    Good Luck!
    I've mentioned it to some of my closest friends within our group (it's kind of split half and half) and they all said to go for it as she's been very distant with us and she treated him pretty badly towards the end but I can't help but feel guilty regardless! Thank you! ^_^ xo
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    if you ain't really friends anymore then there's no bro/hoe code

    so yeah, it wouldn't be too too bad if you went for it........
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've mentioned it to some of my closest friends within our group (it's kind of split half and half) and they all said to go for it as she's been very distant with us and she treated him pretty badly towards the end but I can't help but feel guilty regardless! Thank you! ^_^ xo
    Then move forward w/ your head held high at this point and don't look back at what is obviously the past.
 
 
 
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