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Does anyone else believe that porn is cheating?

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Original post by Catsarefamily
I don't believe you can claim that you love someone and are loyal to them if you watch porn.

By watching porn you're allowing yourself to be sexually aroused by another (wo)man therefore you're cheating.

I also believe that thinking/talking about another person sexually or romantically is also cheating.

You can't think/talk about another person and say that you're loyal to your romantic partner.


Its fine and this is from a girl's point of view! :smile: You can do what you want, to me cheating is making love, being intimate and talking sexually with another person other than your partner. I think it's perfectly fine. im guessing you're like a teen so most relationships arent THAT serious anyway and its not like your married. :smile:
Original post by Catsarefamily
Yes, it does, you're getting aroused by other people so in my opinion you can't really love your boyfriend as you watch porn...


Are you kidding me? I watch all sorts of porn! Gay, lesbian, bdsm, whatever! I get aroused by the physical act, not the person or people in the clip. You sound really insecure... my boyfriend knows and isn’t bothered. Being intimate with someone else however, is cheating.
Reply 42
Avatar for utr
utr
18
If it is, I am serial cheater and have been for a long time...

To the OP, is watching porn as bad as sleeping with someone who isn't your partner?
This thread reminds me of a quote from Howard on The Big Bang Theory. He said something along the lines of "Bernadette doesn't mind where I get my motor running, as long as I park in the right garage."
(edited 4 years ago)
Gosh, I would like to see the look on my Husbands face when I tell him this...
I think it is in a sense. It's worse than that. It is an addiction. See below, from yourbrainonporn.com

Porn Addiction & Sexual Conditioning

What are the symptoms of excessive porn use?) For example,

•

erectile dysfunction: can usually get it up for porn, but not partners (studies linking porn use to sexual problems & lower arousal)

•

difficulty reaching climax with a partner (delayed ejaculation)

•

difficulty using condoms due to unreliable erections

•

growing erectile dysfunction, even with extreme porn (studies reporting findings consistent with escalation of porn use (tolerance))

•

frequent masturbation, little satisfaction (studies linking porn use to less sexual & relationship satisfaction)

•

feeling asexual

•

morphing porn tastes that don't match sexual orientation

•

severe, worsening social anxiety

•

fatigue, irritability

•

lack of motivation, depression, anxiety,

•

inability to concentrate, brain fog (studies linking porn use to poorer mental-emotional health & poorer cognitive outcomes)

•

distress about escalation to more extreme porn or development of porn-induced fetishes



It's important to realize that addictions or sexual conditioning alter the structure and chemistry of the brain's complex reward circuitry. The reward circuitry is home to evolutionarily ancient centers responsible for influencing or controlling all bodily functions, perceptions, moods, emotions, drives, urges, learning, memory, and of course - libido and erections. Your autonomic nervous system and most major hormones are controlled through reward circuitry structures and chemicals. Additionally, nearly all emotional and mental disorders arise from imbalances in these same structures and neural pathways. It's no wonder so many differing symptoms can arise from a reward circuitry altered by porn addiction or sexual conditioning. Although very complex alterations in brain structure and functioning occur in all addictions, the following four categories comprise many of the major changes:

1.

A numbed pleasure response (desensitization of your reward circuitry)

2.

Formation of sensitized addiction pathways (sensitization - which is also behind sexual conditioning)

3.

Inhibition of executive control and decision making (hypofrontality)

4.

Malfunctional stress system - which manifests as even minor stress inducing cravings because stress neurochemicals activate powerful sensitized addiction pathways.

So have you ever watched porn or not?
Actually i think the OP's opinion on porn is actually relatively common, especially in women. (as women who watch porn are in a minority compared to men)

I think the mindset has some religious roots, as a lot of religions reprimand even masturbation without porn. The idea is that fantasising in that way is just as bad as cheating because you have conceived of it in your mind so it's a sin of the mind.

Plus, I guess people with this viewpoint consider it as a slippery slope.

If you think about it, if you dated someone who used let's say video sex chats online or online sexting, there's a fine line between that and cheating. It is technically cheating. (Watching porn without contact with the person behind the screen, rather than engaging with them e.g. in chat, is probably where a sensible distinction between cheating and fantasising.) But if someone had dated a person who did engage with the person, making online contact with them, you can understand why they might have difficulty with such blurred boundaries in future relationships. Ultimately it is a question of having extreme trust in the person.
Would it be worse for a sexual act to be carried out through a screen, or would it be better to do it in person?
If I'm not around to satisfy my BFs desires, I don't mind him going to watch porn. I just don't want to know about it. There are some rules laid out in which he's more than happy to oblige: if he's going to fap, it'd only be to people he doesn't know personally. I'd be really uncomfortable if he were to do things to people he knows really.
Does he still love me? I'm very sure of that.
Regardless, it's natural for people think of others while in a relationship. It's about the actions which are taken with these momentary desires that's a problem.
Hell no, that's absurd. My housemate's GF used to cry when she found out he watched porn, **** was crazy.
Reply 51
Avatar for EdGal
EdGal
5
Absolutely not. Cheating is when you are physically in some sort of romantic or sexual interaction with someone else, not just looking at someone on a screen.
I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we have a very secure and loving relationship. I don't actually know if he watches porn when i'm not around and don't really care either way, that's his choice.

I feel like all the people that are saying watching porn is cheating (which mostly seems to be girls) are the type of people that would be calling and texting their bf all night when he's out with his friends, and would flip if he even spoke to another girl.... :facepalm:
Porn isn't cheating. Do not be silly
Original post by arneldfad
Hell no, that's absurd. My housemate's GF used to cry when she found out he watched porn, **** was crazy.


No, it's not crazy! I hope your housemate stopped watching ti after it caused his girlfriend to cry...
no it isn't :s-smilie: we aren't even hard wired for monogamy
Original post by Lord Jon
Porn isn't cheating. Do not be silly

Porn IS cheating!
Original post by Cinnyboo
If I'm not around to satisfy my BFs desires, I don't mind him going to watch porn. I just don't want to know about it. There are some rules laid out in which he's more than happy to oblige: if he's going to fap, it'd only be to people he doesn't know personally. I'd be really uncomfortable if he were to do things to people he knows really.
Does he still love me? I'm very sure of that.
Regardless, it's natural for people think of others while in a relationship. It's about the actions which are taken with these momentary desires that's a problem.


I'm not the OP but I agree with them!
If your boyfriend really loved you he wouldn't to look at anyone else...
As the OP said when you're watching porn you're allowing yourself to be aroused by someone other than your romantic partner.
That's cheating! It means you're not being loyal...
If you're thinking about another person you're cheating!
If you talk about another person you're cheating!
The only thing that isn't cheating is if your body gets aroused by itself and you're not doing anything. That's not your fault.
Reply 56
Avatar for EdGal
EdGal
5
Original post by GokuBlackmasu
Porn IS cheating!


I'm not the OP but I agree with them!
If your boyfriend really loved you he wouldn't to look at anyone else...
As the OP said when you're watching porn you're allowing yourself to be aroused by someone other than your romantic partner.
That's cheating! It means you're not being loyal...
If you're thinking about another person you're cheating!
If you talk about another person you're cheating!
The only thing that isn't cheating is if your body gets aroused by itself and you're not doing anything. That's not your fault.


I feel sorry for your partner, sounds like they can barely breathe without 'cheating'...
Original post by EdGal
I feel sorry for your partner, sounds like they can barely breathe without 'cheating'...


Oh, no, that's crazy...

I just believe that anything to do with anyone else sexually or romantically is cheating.

Porn not being a form of cheating is illogical.
Original post by RubyHater
So have you ever watched porn or not?


I highly doubt he has lol
Reply 59
Avatar for EdGal
EdGal
5
Original post by GokuBlackmasu
Oh, no, that's crazy...

I just believe that anything to do with anyone else sexually or romantically is cheating.

Porn not being a form of cheating is illogical.


Fair enough and you're entitled to your view, i just think that any bf/gf you have will find it very hard not to 'cheat' under those guidelines.
It is perfectly normal, and I believe healthy, for anyone in a relationship to look at someone else and find them attractive. To say your partner cannot do that is only going to cause issues.

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