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    I'm in my fourth week of uni and am severely homesick. I've not been sleeping properly and I'm seriously considering dropping out. I'm nearly 200 miles from home and, whilst I have a railcard, I'm still looking at £60 train fare to get home and back, which I seriously can't afford. I've been home once already (just over a week ago) and it felt really nice but then I ended up in tears at the station in London waiting for my train back up (mum came to london so it was there that I had to day goodbye). Mum is coming up this weekend and im spending 2.5 days with her ( Sat, sun and monday morning before a lecture) and im kind of dreading monday because i know im going to turn up to lecture having obviously been crying. I've joined 3 societies which will, in a few weeks, have me out 3 evenings a week and half a day on Saturday - so i cant easily join anything else. im not a big one for clubbing either although my specific course ( its biochemistry but there are 4 different degrees within that and mine is really small) has found me loads of friends. I'm trying to keep in touch with home but when i phone i a)end up on the phone for at least an hour and my family have stuff to do and b) i end up in tears.

    it just really sucks and i dont know if i can do this. mum has offered to come up mid November if i want but that seems silly and it will cost like £150 for her to do that. plus if my Saturday afternoon commitment has started (im starting a new acapella group within the existing society) I'd either have to cancel my group's rehearsal thst week or only see her for a few hours in the late afternoon and evening (mum would have to leave first thing on sunday morning because of getting home and getting my brother ready for school.

    plus being so emotional and sleep deprived is impacting my work- i have an essay due Monday so im going to have to submit on Friday evening as I'm going to have no time over the weekend and i have no motivation to do it. i was going to draft over the weekend just gone and i havent even started drafting yet....

    what do i Do ??
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    Honestly, your situation is pretty common. You've started off great by getting involved in so many societies and making lots of friends in your course, so keep that going as that will help you through it.

    One of the major things which makes homesickness worse is keeping in touch with back home too much, dare I say it's the biggest contributor to homesickness amongst fresher's. So I would advise cutting back on the contact, try to only talk once a week if that's possible for you, and keep distracting yourself with things which are where you are.

    Try your best to make it through the first term, that's really the hardest bit. It's usually the longest term too so it acts as a sort of trial by fire, get through it and you're vaccinated to an extent.

    In terms of your work, there's no harm in skipping society commitments every now and again.
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    thanks for replying! I'm generally only phoning home once a week, I am trying to distract myself at uni. Having not been able to get to sleep last night I managed to finish my essay research so am now drafting to try and get myself closer to finished.

    i guess the fact that my friends from home who are at uni (all of whom are closer to home than me) aren't feeling homesick at all made me feel like its not normal
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    (Original post by rayofsunshine98)
    thanks for replying! I'm generally only phoning home once a week, I am trying to distract myself at uni. Having not been able to get to sleep last night I managed to finish my essay research so am now drafting to try and get myself closer to finished.

    i guess the fact that my friends from home who are at uni (all of whom are closer to home than me) aren't feeling homesick at all made me feel like its not normal
    A lot of people hide it. I'm sure they are feeling it to some extent, just not showing it.

    I thought I was in the same position with my flatmates, none of them seemed to feel homesick. Then I had a bit of a breakdown and all of them rallied around to say they were feeling it too, it had just hit me harder so I wasn't able to hide it.
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    the one downside of being in catered halls i guess is its easier to hide when youre feelibg down
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    Geographically that sounds possibly like York? York uni, while a great uni can be a bit more intense academically than the average for 1st year.

    It sounds silly but try and think of uni as 'home,' even if this means 'homing up' you halls with rugs etc, personal touches to make it feel less 'institutional.' I actually think Mum coming up may do more harm than good, even though my own Uni experience 17 years ago was an epic fail (details are on another post and I won't elaborate here) on reflection I think going 'cold turkey' is best ie, don't visit home and don't let home visit you! I even think sometimes unis should ban 1st year students from going back home - even at weekends!

    It is great you are making friends and have your societies - it sounds like the societies give some routine. I think that one of the scariest things about Uni for many is the sudden lack of routine and the fact the socialising/expectation on socialising is 'constant' as opposed to when you live at home as a kid and later in your own home as an adult where you can 'compartmentalise' socialising and more easily have your own space.

    I think very few students sleep brilliantly in first year. Clubbing/socialising/studying often takes place until the early hours and then you might be up for 9am lectures! A good pair of earplugs might be useful!

    Remember uni is effectively being thrown into independence and adulthood, its scary but it can be exhilarating, you've got this!
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    (Original post by Wimbs)
    Geographically that sounds possibly like York? York uni, while a great uni can be a bit more intense academically than the average for 1st year.

    It sounds silly but try and think of uni as 'home,' even if this means 'homing up' you halls with rugs etc, personal touches to make it feel less 'institutional.' I actually think Mum coming up may do more harm than good, even though my own Uni experience 17 years ago was an epic fail (details are on another post and I won't elaborate here) on reflection I think going 'cold turkey' is best ie, don't visit home and don't let home visit you! I even think sometimes unis should ban 1st year students from going back home - even at weekends!

    It is great you are making friends and have your societies - it sounds like the societies give some routine. I think that one of the scariest things about Uni for many is the sudden lack of routine and the fact the socialising/expectation on socialising is 'constant' as opposed to when you live at home as a kid and later in your own home as an adult where you can 'compartmentalise' socialising and more easily have your own space.

    I think very few students sleep brilliantly in first year. Clubbing/socialising/studying often takes place until the early hours and then you might be up for 9am lectures! A good pair of earplugs might be useful!

    Remember uni is effectively being thrown into independence and adulthood, its scary but it can be exhilarating, you've got this!
    Nottingham actually rather than York. Ive got loads of personal stuff already and I've ordered some pictures to put up as well. I went home a couple of weeks ago due to committing to an event which would have been a 16 hour day away from uni compared to 12 by going home and it actually helped for a while - last week was probably the best week I've had. I'd been really ill for most of my first two weeks so even just getting a hug from mum helped. it had been tough when I'd been ill but then last week was ok. it was just the thought of saying goodbye that upset me at the station. once i was on the train i was ok. so in a way i think it will help me to see mum this weekend. because it might make me feel more positive.

    I've got earplugs but its more when im feeling homesick i just cant settle.
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