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Why do shy, inexperienced guys like me struggle to get girlfriends? Watch

    • #4
    #4

    You'll find the right person for you when it's meant to be, and the shyness and awkwardness will wear off, don't worry.
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    Well if you’re looking for the kind of love that only lasts one night and doesn’t go anywhere, maybe you meet up and have sex every now and then, but you don’t have anything serious then it’s time for a character/personality change but no girl wants that kind of stuff with a shy guy.

    If you’re in it for a real relationship and real love then accept yourself, be proud of yourself and you’ll be surprised at how many girls actually like shy guys, what girls don’t like are guys who aren’t confident with who they are.. which kind of goes both ways since most guys want a confident girl and confidence can easily make people overlook your flaws.

    As for being ugly, idk.. people say they’re ugly when they’re not but if you want I can share my views on plastic surgery? I’m all for it to an extent. But don’t rely on it to build your confidence which is more important than apperence in my opinion.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by December126)
    The majority of girls like a confident, dominant guy, if a guy has been with other girls before, he'll know how to dominate, I mean it's blatantly obviously that you're not exactly gonna be chaining someone down if it's your first time!
    In my experience, "inexperienced guys" are just annoying and don't know how to act in sexual/romantic situations, like I was recently at a guys house, making moves on him, making it blatantly obvious I wanted to have sex (I mean I was literally taking clothes off and hinting at touching him!) yet he didn't understand and waited HOURS to reciprocate and by that time I was just soo angry at him that I just went home.
    You sound like one of those guys that says "Why do girls never go for the NICE GUYS like me??? They always go for douch bags!! Wahh wahh waaaa!! 😭😭". Like chill, sorry girls don't wanna be with some socially awkward, self-entitled guy
    Here’s comes the feminist playing the self-entitled card because they don’t know what’s it like to be in anyone else’s shoes. I don’t label myself as nice guy I said I was shy because I know the bad reputation those ‘nice guys’ get. It’s human rights that everyone deserves love stop trying to knock us atypical guys down. Self-entitled people are more like the ones who could boyfriend/girlfriend easily and univeisty students.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by It's****ingWOODY)
    You basically just repeated your last post. See my last post.
    Stop trying to play like you’re smart ass and trying to twist my mind. I said everyone deserves love so leave it as that.
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    depends on how shy the guy is. if i can't hold a decent conversation with him then i'm very likely not to date him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If girls like shy, inexperienced guys? Why do the arrogant guys who sleep with any girl they meet on a night out can easily get a girlfriend?
    Just be yourself, talk to girls like you talk to your male friends. Don't put them on a pedestal, they are just people.

    Improve yourself, hit the gym, wear nice clothes, groom well, have a good hairstyle, have good posture.

    Love yourself and be happy, do things that make you happy, partake in your hobbies, relax, be proud of the person you are, you have just got much right as everyone else.

    You could try online dating, speed dating, joining clubs based on hobbies, through college/uni, through your network and approaching females.

    I hope this helps:

    1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?

    2) Smile, smiling in contagious.

    3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily.

    Have good posture, body language, improve your appearance. Be happy with yourself.

    4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.

    5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

    6) Ask how they are, how's everything, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about what's happening.

    Talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them,

    Compliment them, say "I like your jacket".

    If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.

    7) Be passionate about life.

    8) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.

    9) Look outside!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Here’s comes the feminist playing the self-entitled card because they don’t know what’s it like to be in anyone else’s shoes. I don’t label myself as nice guy I said I was shy because I know the bad reputation those ‘nice guys’ get. It’s human rights that everyone deserves love stop trying to knock us atypical guys down. Self-entitled people are more like the ones who could boyfriend/girlfriend easily and univeisty students.
    Boy, ok, so. For one, you seem to hate yourself, as the dude with the stitch profile said, like yourself then others will like you, 2 (by looking at all your posts) you seem pretty desperate as well as really pessimistic. All your learning to drive threads all seem to be you complaining about how you've put 10 full days of work in and you still failed. (that was 2 years ago, so i'll let that slide as you could've changed by then)

    Every single year of your life since 19 you made a post saying im a (age) year old (pick one: virgin/and I've never had a GF). You seem to hate how you look, (you mention that in each of your threads). You can't change some things, but others you can change. For example, if you don't like your hair, get a hair cut, if you don't like your weight then change it. If its the colour of your eyes then realise nobody really cares about it - all goes back to learning how to love yourself, and if you can't love certain parts of yourself then either change it or learn to live with it.

    Once you're happy with yourself, find someone you like, go up to them (it's hard) then talk to them, even if you fail then nothing really happens. All that will happen is you'll work up your communication skills making it easier the next time, also upping your success rate. Think of it as some sort of compound chance thing. its a 0.01% chance the first time, 0.02% the second 0.05% or something the third, until you find someone who does say yes to you as it will happen eventually.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Relentas)
    Boy, ok, so. For one, you seem to hate yourself, as the dude with the stitch profile said, like yourself then others will like you, 2 (by looking at all your posts) you seem pretty desperate as well as really pessimistic. All your learning to drive threads all seem to be you complaining about how you've put 10 full days of work in and you still failed. (that was 2 years ago, so i'll let that slide as you could've changed by then)

    Every single year of your life since 19 you made a post saying im a (age) year old (pick one: virgin/and I've never had a GF). You seem to hate how you look, (you mention that in each of your threads). You can't change some things, but others you can change. For example, if you don't like your hair, get a hair cut, if you don't like your weight then change it. If its the colour of your eyes then realise nobody really cares about it - all goes back to learning how to love yourself, and if you can't love certain parts of yourself then either change it or learn to live with it.

    Once you're happy with yourself, find someone you like, go up to them (it's hard) then talk to them, even if you fail then nothing really happens. All that will happen is you'll work up your communication skills making it easier the next time, also upping your success rate. Think of it as some sort of compound chance thing. its a 0.01% chance the first time, 0.02% the second 0.05% or something the third, until you find someone who does say yes to you as it will happen eventually.
    How do you find all my previous threads and what do they have anything to do with this? About the driving test I’ve passed last year 4th time lucky and I have my own car.

    I’m ashamed to admit I’m very pessimistic person with self-esteem problems. I’ve tried taking small steps but it never works. I’ve been unemployed for 3 years, been rejected from all my uni choices and only have the one friend That’s mental health for you. I’ve been bullied, belittled, degraded and dehumanised all my life so I do also come across as bitter due to bad experiences.

    I don’t think any girl would want to be with if I still have this pessimistic attitude and mindset. If I could just work on myself and improve on my weakness by taking baby steps then hopefully I’ll see results (starting by minor results then more results along the way).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Everyone deserves love even the disabled
    Yeah, but nobody owes you love. I can't walk up to Christina Hendricks and say "I deserve love. Love me." and expect her not to call the cops.

    Just because you want someone to love you doesn't mean they are under obligation to love you.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ThatOldGuy)
    Yeah, but nobody owes you love. I can't walk up to Christina Hendricks and say "I deserve love. Love me." and expect her not to call the cops.

    Just because you want someone to love you doesn't mean they are under obligation to love you.
    I undetand completely. I’m just saying that I do have a right to find love.
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I undetand completely. I’m just saying that I do have a right to find love.
    How have you been unemployed for 3 years?

    Is it due to mental health issues or have you just not tried searching for a job?

    I think you should prioritise your own needs first like a job and then you will have a more positive outlook helping your confidence etc. as you will be interacting with people on a daily basis
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    don't focus on getting a girl if your mental health isn't good.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by entertainmyfaith)
    don't focus on getting a girl if your mental health isn't good.
    I’m pretty sure there are couples with mental health problems
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeah well shy inexperienced girls struggle even more.
    recognize
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I’m pretty sure there are couples with mental health problems
    yes, but that's not my point. why are you so hung up on finding love?
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    Crazy idea here, but maybe all girls have different experiences so they have different wants and needs? Maybe, just maybe, they like different qualities in people? And, I know this is a stretch here, but maybe they don't like being generalised?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by entertainmyfaith)
    yes, but that's not my point. why are you so hung up on finding love?
    I want what everyone else around has like my friends from school, family members, famous people and everyone in general is to have someone.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I want what everyone else around has like my friends from school, family members, famous people and everyone in general is to have someone.
    i'd say it's best to focus on making friends first.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How do you find all my previous threads and what do they have anything to do with this? About the driving test I’ve passed last year 4th time lucky and I have my own car.

    I’m ashamed to admit I’m very pessimistic person with self-esteem problems. I’ve tried taking small steps but it never works. I’ve been unemployed for 3 years, been rejected from all my uni choices and only have the one friend That’s mental health for you. I’ve been bullied, belittled, degraded and dehumanised all my life so I do also come across as bitter due to bad experiences.

    I don’t think any girl would want to be with if I still have this pessimistic attitude and mindset. If I could just work on myself and improve on my weakness by taking baby steps then hopefully I’ll see results (starting by minor results then more results along the way).
    Ill reply in sections:

    1. I know things and it helps to understand you as a person as then you can see what the problems are and why you're having bad luck when talking to people.

    2. being pessimistic is never a good look and it's extremely irritating for some. Always pointing out the bad things in life is a way to turn someone off completely. (you then go to point out bad things.)

    3. you've been un employed, you can 100% get a job, it may not be the best one in the world but you can at get one. You could work at any super market or restaurant and (since you're 22/23 and an adult) you get minimum £7.20 an hour, which leads to some sort of amount a year depending how much you work and if you do overtime and also how many tips you get, it'd also help with your confidence and would help as you'd talk to people.

    4. You dont need to go to uni to be happy.

    5. If you get a job, you'll get friends, if you go out and try to talk to people, you'll get friends.

    6. as for bullying and mental health, go see someone, either your GP or a psychiatrist. - that'd help you feel more confident and would help with self esteem issues.

    7. (you say something pessimistic) then say you're pessimistic, how about even when posting online, try find something good. (what you said after is an example of something good as you say you can change). Not saying never say something bad, everyone complains once in a while, as they should. This is a place to get started; buy a note book, put it on your pillow or under it, then, every night before bed write something good that happened or how you've improved yourself, could be: you talked to someone today. Talked to a girl, it was nice and sunny out, you made a new friend etc.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I undetand completely. I’m just saying that I do have a right to find love.
    You do! So go do it. And don't blame others if you don't.
 
 
 
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