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Why do shy, inexperienced guys like me struggle to get girlfriends? Watch

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    (Original post by Relentas)
    Ill reply in sections:

    1. I know things and it helps to understand you as a person as then you can see what the problems are and why you're having bad luck when talking to people.

    2. being pessimistic is never a good look and it's extremely irritating for some. Always pointing out the bad things in life is a way to turn someone off completely. (you then go to point out bad things.)

    3. you've been un employed, you can 100% get a job, it may not be the best one in the world but you can at get one. You could work at any super market or restaurant and (since you're 22/23 and an adult) you get minimum £7.20 an hour, which leads to some sort of amount a year depending how much you work and if you do overtime and also how many tips you get, it'd also help with your confidence and would help as you'd talk to people.

    4. You dont need to go to uni to be happy.

    5. If you get a job, you'll get friends, if you go out and try to talk to people, you'll get friends.

    6. as for bullying and mental health, go see someone, either your GP or a psychiatrist. - that'd help you feel more confident and would help with self esteem issues.

    7. (you say something pessimistic) then say you're pessimistic, how about even when posting online, try find something good. (what you said after is an example of something good as you say you can change). Not saying never say something bad, everyone complains once in a while, as they should. This is a place to get started; buy a note book, put it on your pillow or under it, then, every night before bed write something good that happened or how you've improved yourself, could be: you talked to someone today. Talked to a girl, it was nice and sunny out, you made a new friend etc.

    You did say it how it is to help pull myself unlike some people on here giving harsh answers in a way to making me feel like I’m some vile person. You gave me brutally honest answers but you also tried to give me constructive advice and some motivation.

    One of the reasons why I’m pessimistic because of my past bad experiences and have the tendency to dwell in all the bad things that happened in the past.

    How am I supposed to get a job when I never worked in my life or had any work experience? I don’t even have a CV because I don’t know how to make one or even have the motivation.

    You know people like me are afraid to talk to someone regarding mental health.

    I’m so pessimistic that I had a bad habit posting a lot of pessimistic posts that hardly get any likes or comments. As in 2017 I’ve been improving compared to how it was in 2014-16 but I still do it sometimes. I used to post e.g. “I feel like removing myself from this planet. It’s the only option I got left”.I’m trying to put a stop to it due the distress and annoyance that I may have courses to family members and friends I got on Facebook. I’m thinking of joining a running club or kick boxing that may slowly get it all kicking off.
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    maybe because... you're shy and inexperienced?
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    (Original post by ThatOldGuy)
    You do! So go do it. And don't blame others if you don't.
    Do I blame myself instead?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Stop trying to play like you’re smart ass and trying to twist my mind. I said everyone deserves love so leave it as that.
    Maybe because your view is wrong? No girl simply owes you love because you think it should be that way
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I want what everyone else around has like my friends from school, family members, famous people and everyone in general is to have someone.
    Then work for it like everyone else does. Some have to work harder than others to get the same results, it's life.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Stop trying to play like you’re smart ass and trying to twist my mind. I said everyone deserves love so leave it as that.
    If you're going to post something on the internet, it's open to being challenged. Deal with it.

    You can't just say "I deserve love, why is nobody giving it to me?". You have to go and look for it, or at the very least be open to letting it find you. If you're shy and don't talk to anyone... well, it's gonna be harder to let it find you. It's like hoping you'll win the lottery when you haven't bought a ticket.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Here’s comes the feminist playing the self-entitled card because they don’t know what’s it like to be in anyone else’s shoes. I don’t label myself as nice guy I said I was shy because I know the bad reputation those ‘nice guys’ get. It’s human rights that everyone deserves love stop trying to knock us atypical guys down. Self-entitled people are more like the ones who could boyfriend/girlfriend easily and univeisty students.
    I'm definitely NOT a feminist, my post had absolutely NOTHING to do with feminism.
    • #6
    #6

    [QUOTE=Anonymous;74155812]If girls like shy, inexperienced guys? Why do the arrogant guys who sleep with any girl they meet on a night out can easily get a girlfriend?[/Q
    Dont stress to much about it everyone was inexperienced at some point so dont feel like you need to change that and or the fact that your shy.
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    (Original post by It's****ingWOODY)
    If you're going to post something on the internet, it's open to being challenged. Deal with it.

    You can't just say "I deserve love, why is nobody giving it to me?". You have to go and look for it, or at the very least be open to letting it find you. If you're shy and don't talk to anyone... well, it's gonna be harder to let it find you. It's like hoping you'll win the lottery when you haven't bought a ticket.
    I’m open to hear the other side in arguments especially when it comes to political debates but it felt from my perspective you were being slightly insulant and trying to shut me down. If it wasn’t your intention I’ll take your word for it.

    I’ll admit that people like me aren’t cut out for love. You should’ve said that from the start.
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    (Original post by will'o'wisp2)
    Maybe because your view is wrong? No girl simply owes you love because you think it should be that way

    I thought find love is part human rights.


    Then work for it like everyone else does. Some have to work harder than others to get the same results, it's life.
    I doubt most of them worked for it. They just got it easy. I’ve watched people coming out in relationship then within a few weeks/months they’d find someone else and there’s me who still single. The problem those kind of people think they’re better than people like me.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I doubt most of them worked for it. They just got it easy. I’ve watched people coming out in relationship then within a few weeks/months they’d find someone else and there’s me who still single. The problem those kind of people think they’re better than people like me.
    They probably have at some point in their life if they can get into new relationships pretty quickly.
    • #7
    #7

    Unemployed for years and you still don't have a CV? You need to hear some tough love. It won't all magically come together for you. You can't keep making threads asking for advice and then do nothing.
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    (Original post by uberteknik)
    The clue is in meeting on 'a night out'. Mostly, those 'girls just wanna have fun.'

    😂😂
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    When a guy who's really nervous around me approaches me I find it really cute. But not promising. I just act nice but I have seen women even some of my friends just scream "**** off" and other horrible things at shy guys. 😭 I try not to do that.
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    (Original post by Salt Queen)
    When a guy who's really nervous around me approaches me I find it really cute. But not promising. I just act nice but I have seen women even some of my friends just scream "**** off" and other horrible things at shy guys. 😭 I try not to do that.
    I’ve been screamed “**** off” when I’ve tried approaching a girl on a night out. That’s one of the reasons why I struggle to talk to girls because I fear they’d say “Sorry I don’t talk to ugly guys go away and leave me alone”
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I’ve been screamed “**** off” when I’ve tried approaching a girl on a night out. That’s one of the reasons why I struggle to talk to girls because I fear they’d say “Sorry I don’t talk to ugly guys go away and leave me alone”
    Don't worry. Any nasty ***** who speaks to ANYone like that is NOT worth it. In the mean time work on your confidence and approach. I can be moody but understand everyone can be in a bad mood but generally speaking I think people will appreciate a respectful, charming person saying hi.
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    (Original post by Salt Queen)
    I have seen women even some of my friends just scream "**** off" and other horrible things at shy guys. 😭
    Wow. I've heard it said that "girls hate shy guys" before but I never interpreted that to mean literal hatred. What you said seems to be suggesting just that though.
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    I'm shy, but a lot of girls approach me.
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    (Original post by awkwardshortguy)
    Wow. I've heard it said that "girls hate shy guys" before but I never interpreted that to mean literal hatred. What you said seems to be suggesting just that though.
    Idk how you came up with that when I'm providing anecdotal evidence or talking about what I've personally seen. It doesn't mean you can say girls in general freelance a certain way or that it's hatred. Some girls are just *****es the same way men can be total dicks about turning girls down.
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    (Original post by Ganjaweed Rebel)
    I'm shy, but a lot of girls approach me.
    Probably because they think you’re attractive and thing things not many girls find me attractive.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Probably because they think you’re attractive and thing things not many girls find me attractive.
    I used to be very ugly and was at best overlooked and at worst bullied. Now I get attention on looks alone when in reality, I'm naturally quite geeky
 
 
 
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