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    I know this isn’t the best place to ask since I’m assuming no one is a psychiatrist. However , I have always wondered why I behave the way I do. In addition, in no way I can’t tell my mom to go to the doctors to see if I have anxiety , she will call me a drama queen and deny it. Anyways the reason I’m asking this is because of this constant feeling of being scared and intimidated , even though I feel confident two minutes before . When I get in conversations I get extremely nervous it doesn’t matter if it’s with a friend or a teacher - my speech goes all crazy , I start to feel like I’m sweating and cannot keep eye contact . This has caused me to be called socially awkward at school.
    Today , has been my worst day of the month , I’ve been late to school and when I got to the tutor room I got asked about why by my teacher( there was traffic) at that moment I couldn’t breath , my heart started beating fast I couldn’t speak properly to the point where I felt embarrassed and started crying and left . I really hated myself for being this emotional over something so small as being late. Mainly my worries always start at school or at public places .
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    It sounds like you have social anxiety, and coming from someone who experiences it I can tell that it sucks. I just find that I shouldn't focus on little things, I use the 10-10-10 rule: will it matter in 10 days? 10 months? 10 years? It helps when I get nervous talking, everyone will forget or I'll never see them again. It also helps to focus on unrelated things, sometimes when I'm nervous I think of Harry Potter and it helps everytime!
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    (Original post by NAV_METROBOOMIN)
    It sounds like you have social anxiety, and coming from someone who experiences it I can tell that it sucks. I just find that I shouldn't focus on little things, I use the 10-10-10 rule: will it matter in 10 days? 10 months? 10 years? It helps when I get nervous talking, everyone will forget or I'll never see them again. It also helps to focus on unrelated things, sometimes when I'm nervous I think of Harry Potter and it helps everytime!
    Thank you. But everyone at school already has a picture of me for being very shy , awkward and boring to the point where I feel I don’t deserve to talk to them . I cannot get that out of my head sadly
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you. But everyone at school already has a picture of me for being very shy , awkward and boring to the point where I feel I don’t deserve to talk to them . I cannot get that out of my head sadly
    Literally in the same situation. Everybody has this perception of me that I just don't talk, so for me to come out of that bubble would be pretty hard/I'm afraid of change. However when I think about it, it's not like they're going to portray it as a negative? They'll think you've changed for the better, nobody is going to hate you for coming out of your bubble, and at the end of the day they'll get used to it in a week. It also helps to not value their opinion so highly, who are they to judge?

    Male or female by the way, out of interest?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by NAV_METROBOOMIN)
    Literally in the same situation. Everybody has this perception of me that I just don't talk, so for me to come out of that bubble would be pretty hard/I'm afraid of change. However when I think about it, it's not like they're going to portray it as a negative? They'll think you've changed for the better, nobody is going to hate you for coming out of your bubble, and at the end of the day they'll get used to it in a week. It also helps to not value their opinion so highly, who are they to judge?

    Male or female by the way, out of interest?
    Good to know I’m not alone . I’m a girl .
    • #3
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    Be confident, I know it’s cliche but if you tell yourself that you are confident it may make a difference. Whenever you feel the anxiety coming think about who you are talking to and you don’t need to feel anxiety around them.
    Confiding in someone might help, letting out you troubles or concerns may relive you, I’m no physiatrist but I sometimes get the same feeling. Hope it helped 👍🏽👍🏽😊
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you. But everyone at school already has a picture of me for being very shy , awkward and boring to the point where I feel I don’t deserve to talk to them . I cannot get that out of my head sadly
    Ah yeah that’s why you have social anxiety ‘I don’t deserve to talk to them’. When we feel not good enough, not lovable, not deserving to talk to people what happens well our behaviour changes - we get nervous and anxious around them. I suggest reading the book - solution to social anxiety. it’s an excellent book

    And because I am not enough in this way, I will not be loved. People will not accept me. They will judge me, mock me, and reject me. I will lose connection and be isolated and alone. When we feel like there is something wrong with us, that we are not worthy of love and belonging, we can describe this feeling as shame. 1 It is the sense that you are somehow inadequate, bad, inferior or defective. It is a terribly uncomfortable feeling that everyone knows and nobody likes.
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    (Original post by Dominoes)
    Ah yeah that’s why you have social anxiety ‘I don’t deserve to talk to them’. When we feel not good enough, not lovable, not deserving to talk to people what happens well our behaviour changes - we get nervous and anxious around them. I suggest reading the book - solution to social anxiety. it’s an excellent book

    And because I am not enough in this way, I will not be loved. People will not accept me. They will judge me, mock me, and reject me. I will lose connection and be isolated and alone. When we feel like there is something wrong with us, that we are not worthy of love and belonging, we can describe this feeling as shame. 1 It is the sense that you are somehow inadequate, bad, inferior or defective. It is a terribly uncomfortable feeling that everyone knows and nobody likes.
    So true . I definetely will read that book I cannot go on like this this .
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know this isn’t the best place to ask since I’m assuming no one is a psychiatrist. However , I have always wondered why I behave the way I do. In addition, in no way I can’t tell my mom to go to the doctors to see if I have anxiety , she will call me a drama queen and deny it. Anyways the reason I’m asking this is because of this constant feeling of being scared and intimidated , even though I feel confident two minutes before . When I get in conversations I get extremely nervous it doesn’t matter if it’s with a friend or a teacher - my speech goes all crazy , I start to feel like I’m sweating and cannot keep eye contact . This has caused me to be called socially awkward at school.
    Today , has been my worst day of the month , I’ve been late to school and when I got to the tutor room I got asked about why by my teacher( there was traffic) at that moment I couldn’t breath , my heart started beating fast I couldn’t speak properly to the point where I felt embarrassed and started crying and left . I really hated myself for being this emotional over something so small as being late. Mainly my worries always start at school or at public places .
    I am the same. Message me if you want to talk about it.
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    (Original post by Dave Lister.)
    I am the same. Message me if you want to talk about it.
    Oh thanks
    I will .
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know this isn’t the best place to ask since I’m assuming no one is a psychiatrist. However , I have always wondered why I behave the way I do. In addition, in no way I can’t tell my mom to go to the doctors to see if I have anxiety , she will call me a drama queen and deny it. Anyways the reason I’m asking this is because of this constant feeling of being scared and intimidated , even though I feel confident two minutes before . When I get in conversations I get extremely nervous it doesn’t matter if it’s with a friend or a teacher - my speech goes all crazy , I start to feel like I’m sweating and cannot keep eye contact . This has caused me to be called socially awkward at school.
    Today , has been my worst day of the month , I’ve been late to school and when I got to the tutor room I got asked about why by my teacher( there was traffic) at that moment I couldn’t breath , my heart started beating fast I couldn’t speak properly to the point where I felt embarrassed and started crying and left . I really hated myself for being this emotional over something so small as being late. Mainly my worries always start at school or at public places .
    It sounds to me like anxiety. dont worry about your mother, there are people like that everywhere. Youre not a drama qeeun for worrying about your own health, mental or physical. Are you alright though?
    • #1
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    (Original post by Alex Fierro)
    It sounds to me like anxiety. dont worry about your mother, there are people like that everywhere. Youre not a drama qeeun for worrying about your own health, mental or physical. Are you alright though?
    I’m currently fine . I just literally cried for about 10 minutes after I got home from my sixth form . I decided to forget about everything , and hope tomorrow is better
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I’m currently fine . I just literally cried for about 10 minutes after I got home from my sixth form . I decided to forget about everything , and hope tomorrow is better
    Okay, I hope you get better soon. If you need to talk about anything Im here. I have talked others out of suicide on other sites, so I think I could help.
    • #1
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    (Original post by Alex Fierro)
    Okay, I hope you get better soon. If you need to talk about anything Im here. I have talked others out of suicide on other sites, so I think I could help.
    Thank you so much. I will defiantly come to you when I need advice - Amazing how you help other people
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you so much. I will defiantly come to you when I need advice - Amazing how you help other people
    You're welcome and thank you. Its always a pleasure to help!
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    You can go to your doctor without your mum, even if you're under 16. A lot of surgeries have counsellors to speak to (my friends been going to her's for ages and I don't think her mum knows at all). It might be worth talking to a counsellor at school too, since that might be more practical. They won't tel your mum either.

    I think 'having anxiety' sounds like a big scary thing, because it's accepting that you have a problem, but it's important to know that so so so many people deal with it and it's really not that weird. You'll deal with this, you'll get through it. Doing the hard stuff sucks, but you can do it.

    I'd also recommend learning some breathing exercises, that helps a bunch when you need to convince your body that you're actually safe. Breath in until your lungs feel comfortably full, then breath out imagining that you're blowing on a candle, not enough to put it out but strong enough to make it bend a bit.
 
 
 
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